


The Great Race!

by Akzeal, DinobotLoki



Series: The Great Race [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dib is Of Legal Age (Invader Zim), Enemies?-to-romance, Gen, M/M, Pak sharing, Survival, Zim is bad at words, game show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:08:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 54,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27303919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akzeal/pseuds/Akzeal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinobotLoki/pseuds/DinobotLoki
Summary: Twelve teams, and up to eleven planets, we have quite the season planned! Are you ready for your classic favorite planets? How about some new ones? This season will be full of surprises, I can already promise! Grab some snacks and settle in for days or weeks of excitement. I say to seasoned and new fans alike, beings from across the cosmos: Hello and welcome to the one, the only, the Great Race!(Featuring a mixed-species Irken team- what?)
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), The Almighty Tallest & Dib, The Almighty Tallest & Zim
Series: The Great Race [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021351
Comments: 39
Kudos: 36





	1. Welcome to the Race!

**Author's Note:**

> So, I know we're posting something else, but I wanted to share this because I'm much more fond of it.
> 
> Bold is Irken, and 'paling' or 'chilling' is their version of blushing- going off heatvision, Irkens cool to blend with the background when embarrassed or afraid, and because that's shunting blood from the surface, they look paler/grayer to human eyes.

He had been through a  _ lot _ of strange stuff in his life. More than a lot, but Dib didn’t actually want to spend  _ too _ much time quantifying the utter soup of weird that he called his life. He was busy trying to work out what was going on here. He was  _ pretty sure _ he was in an Irken ship- or at least facility. He’d seen enough of the purple and pink and- well, he recognized Irken technology when he saw it. The ship part was more of a guess, but it felt like there was movement, maybe. The really confusing part was that there was a bed and snacks- ones  _ he _ could eat, even, not that that was  _ so _ hard to find. Irken physiology was the picker one, between the species.

Dib ate some of the snacks, lounging in the bed as he did. There were many options as to why and what was going on. Tak  _ probably _ hadn’t sold him out. Zim was too dumb and this was too big of a ship- assuming that guess was correct. When he got bored, he went to the nearest panel and started trying to pry it up. 

The panel, once up, revealed… a second panel, and Dib stared a moment. He wasn’t even surprised, not  _ really _ \- not after spending much of his life around Tak and Zim. It was still strange, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit bemused by the whole thing. Was he just going to  _ stay _ here- well, no, of course not. But were they planning to  _ leave _ him here?

Another panel lighting up caught Dib’s attention, and he absolutely wasn’t expecting to find himself facing… the Tallest?  **“Oh, oh, look, Red, look. It’s the big-headed kid! Just like we demanded! And it’s taking apart it’s room! You know, it’s almost cute? In a disgusting way…”** Clearly, they didn’t realize he knew Irken- or didn’t care, that was actually possible. Dib was actually busier trying to work out if he was taller than them or not.

**“Ugh. You would… well. I guess it is kinda cute.”** Red scoffed, getting way too close to the screen. After a moment, Dib went back to tugging and working on getting the secondary panel open. His own body could handle electricity far easier than any Irkan, and he was pretty sure that if he could reach the wires, he could yank them out to get the door open. 

**“Should… we make the announcement before it kills itself? As much fun as that might be. It would be a lot** **_more_ ** **fun watching Zim struggle, right?”** Purple asked, and the questions did make Dib hesitate just a moment. He didn’t want to die, of course- but what were they talking about?

**“It’s got a few more layers to go- let’s watch it. They can wait!”** Reid answered, before popping some of his own snacks in his mouth, and- Dib frowned, then went back to work.

Dib pretended not to know what they were saying, which was easy enough. What could they want? And what did it have to do with Zim? Working his nails under the next panel, he smirked as he yanked it out entirely, tossing it aside at the screen that the Tallest were on, watching him. They jumped, and he reached in, trying to figure out where to start yanking. 

**“Oh, oh, I think it’s found something! Oh, look at it!”** Purple said, sounding…  _ much _ too pleased and excited- and somehow proud. Before Dib could pull anything, though, or worry about his watchers, an alarm went off, Purple making a disappointed sound.  **“Aww. I thought you’d told them to wait!”**

**“No time- cameras!”** Red answered, pulling back, and Dib was actually surprised at how entirely the two Tallest switched into a more ‘public’ mode. He’d seen it before, but… not quite like this.

Another screen came to life, words popping up in a different alien language, along with bright and cheerful music. 

**“** **_Welcome back, invaders and citizens, to the Great Planet Race!_ ** **”** An announcer’s voice chimed in. Dib frowned. The room he was in suddenly flipped, though. He yelped, hand pulled from the wall in the process. On impulse, he grabbed at the rail that lined the bottom of the bed, stuffing snacks into his pockets. This didn’t sound good. 

**“** **_Twelves teams, countless terrifying and beautiful planets, only two winners! You all know the rules, so let’s meet this season’s teams!_ ** **”** the announcer continued, before… doing exactly that. The screen flipped between species and people, far too fast, while naming them- and showing parts of what Dib hoped were  _ not _ the planets they were talking about. It sounded like… a game show? And then he saw himself- the screen was a camera, of course it was, and he was staring right at it and still clinging to the bed, but before he could worry about that, he saw Zim. And of  _ course _ they were on a team. Zim looked as thrilled as he was.

Three seconds later and the door of the room opened, a robotic arm reached in and dragged him out to be dropped next to Zim in a  _ cage _ of some sort. Dib let out a puff of air, immediately standing and glaring at Zim. “What the hell is this about, Zim?” he demanded. “What type of fuck boy shenanigans have you been getting into now?” 

“Nothing! Has Dib gone deaf? Zim certainly didn’t wish to see  _ you _ here,” Zim answered, barely glancing at Dib. “Quiet! At any point, vital information may be shared!” And then he went back to looking around, in the cage, and… Well, he wasn’t  _ ignoring _ Dib, and he also didn’t seem particularly  _ angry _ .

Dib sighed, but then looked up, at the screens filling the sky. Around them, in other cages, were various aliens, always two to a cage.  **“** **_Each team has a sponsor, which may offer aid at various points,_ ** **” the announcer said. “** **_Starting with Team One, of the planet Meekrob! Spret and Moorg are supported by the Meekrob Manor Group, well known for their contributions to the_ ** **_Greeee-ate Race_ ** **_!_ ** **”**

“...Seriously? Seriously. Your Tallest interrupted your ‘Invasion’ to make you… run a  _ race _ ?” Dib said, though he  _ did _ try to keep it quiet-ish. He didn’t want to start fighting any sooner than he had to, now that he knew this wasn’t likely to be any plan against Earth. Not that he was as worried about that as he should be, given how very many chances both Zim and the Tallest had, frankely, squandered.

“Silence! I will  _ not _ allow you to attempt to lessen the chances that I, ZIM!, shall win!” Zim answered, frowning at the screens. It was on to Team Two, Vortians, and honestly the goat-people didn’t look very well-prepared for this thing…

It continued, various teams being named, along with their backers. They were Team Nine, apparently. Dib frowned as the cage lit up, before the announcer spoke,  **“** **_Team Nine has high hopes, fans and racers! The underminers of the competition, these two hail from different planets entirely! We have the Irken Invader, Zim, and the terran, Dib! What a wild team, folks! Even more fascinating, they are backed by the Tallest of the Irken Empire!_ ** **”**

It took next to no time to realize that Zim was lapping up the attention, waving as though he’d already won. Dib couldn’t quite tell where the cameras were at this moment, but he waved as well, just a quick thing- maybe good ratings would get them more help? He didn’t really want to lose either, because there was no way that there wasn’t  _ something _ massively negative waiting for the losers- and not just Zim’s wrath.

The announcer moved on, and then they were left there for a moment as the stage they were all on moved. There was a rumbling, but they were being moved down, the stage splitting into multiple to spread out. 

**“** **_Excited? We sure are! This season, we are starting off with a bang, race-lovers! I hope everyone remembers the planet Shin-19, from last year, because this is where we are starting. A planet of many dangers, our Teams must survive and reach the top of the Shas-mountain. This mountain is rife with many dangers, including new ones!_ ** **”** Dib frowned, swallowing and looking at Zim. 

“Does the Dib-beast have anything  _ useful _ ?” Zim asked- actually asked. That was… new, and weird, and  _ what _ ?

“Look, space-boy, maybe  _ you _ were allowed to pack, but your stupid leaders didn’t think to give  _ me _ warning. What is this, anyway? Are they betting on you? Why did they grab  _ me _ ?” These were useful questions, ones he needed answered!

Zim scoffed. “Obviously, they knew that Zim’s greatest enemy would make for a good partner,” he said. “You are the only one to match Zim’s brilliance!” He looked around as they moved. “The almighty Tallest are our benefactors. Should we win, they get much glory, and so will we, Diblet.” 

“Don’t you mean ‘when’?” Dib asked, just because that was… weirdly uncertain for Zim, really. “Okay, so, when they say ‘you all know the rules’, I  _ don’t _ .” And Zim was… being downright  _ friendly _ , for Zim. “...I grabbed some of the snacks?” Wait, had Zim called him a  _ partner _ ? Yeah, they’d been a bit less fight-y lately, but… He was being really friendly.

“Of course I mean ‘when’!” Zim huffed. He blinked, then nodded. “Good, good. That is useful. Rules- ah, yes, filthy Earthlings have no clue of the wonders that is the  _ Great Race _ !” He picked up a stick, then dragged Dib over to a section of dirt on the platform, which was still moving. “In the Great Race, teams are brought to various planets to test survival and skills. We must, nn, work as a team. If one of the team dies, the other loses automatically. We must only use what we have now, what is on a planet, and what our benefactors decide to send. We can kill other teams, too.” 

Dib nodded, because really, it sounded  _ so much _ like some game show. The rules were sensible enough, he was  _ really _ glad he had grabbed the snacks and- “We can  _ wha- _ Oh. Of course. There’s the catch. We can kill- Okay, what  _ ends _ the race?” There was usually a goal, goals mattered, this was a  _ race _ , and, “Waitaminnute. So, if I die, you lose. Then what happens? Or would happen.” That explained the near-friendliness, and downright helpfulness, and- “Is  _ that _ what Purple was talking about?”

“If Zim lost- which will  _ not _ happen, Zim would be a laughingstock of Irk! And would have to figure a way off the planet, alone!” Zim scoffed. “The race ends when there is only one team left, or we reach the final planet and finish whatever challenge is there first. And no, Zim does not know how many planets are in the race. Sometimes it is a lot, sometimes it is less. It is part of the  **greatness** that is the  _ great _ race!”

“Right. No losing. We… actually agree on that…” Dib agreed, holding up his hands a bit. “So. We just have to get up a mountain. Initially. I assume cold? And climbing, no problem there. Snow? Is that going to be a problem?” There was… something fun, actually, about this. Testing his wits on an alien planet, learning more about the galaxy- and yes, even the idea of working with Zim wasn’t  _ bad _ . And he knew Zim well enough to know Zim really  _ would _ work with him, badly wanting the prize. The Irken was likely to misestimate things, and  _ that _ would be a problem.

Zim hummed, touching his face with a hand, before nodding. “Yes, yes. Zim remembers from last season, the Shas-mountain had cold places at the top, with much icey water particles!” He huffed a little, frowning as they started to land, the shield around them flickering lightly. 

“Icy water- Is that going to be a problem for you, Zim?” Dib asked, turning and frowning. “I mean, a distraction, clearly!” he added a moment later, because allies or not, Zim was still  _ very _ touchy. The shield dropped entirely a moment later, and he realized he was the  _ first human _ on this planet, and- something wasn’t right. The air tasted wrong.

“Minor. It will be something we…” Zim trailed off, looking at Dib strangely. 

“Zim, what… atmosphere does this planet have?” Dib asked, started to realize that his breath was coming shorter, suddenly. “I…” he reached up to his throat, falling forward to his knees. 

“Diblet!” Zim said, and Dib did hear the announcer’s voice crackling commenting on multiple teams struggling with the air... 

There was a hand at his throat- literally- and Dib sort of thought that Zim was trying to stop him from breathing, which was nothing new, just maybe a little weird in context. He was muttering to himself, too, but Dib couldn’t pay attention, trying to get air and aware that he needed  _ not to _ , that he was dying and losing less than a minute after landing and- then there was pain, a lot of it, and  _ air _ .

He took deep gulps, and then Zim breathed a sigh of relief, lekku twitching forward, towards him while Dib took a deeper breath. “Ugh. Damned cyanide rich air. Is the Dib doing better now?” 

Dib nodded, taking in deeper breaths and blinking back the dark spots in his vision. It took him way too long to look down, and see the strange lines that went from the pak to-  _ him _ . 

“Zim- you- That-” This was  _ way _ closer to a pak than he was supposed to be, Dib knew that. He also realized that he probably  _ shouldn’t _ make too big of a deal about it. Not that Zim  _ could _ change his mind, not without losing the race, which- “Wow, you… really care about this race…” And it was  _ really, really weird _ to see relief from Zim regarding  _ him _ .

“Duh,” Zim said simply. He shifted, shaking his head. Dib was very sure that he was imagining something else on Zim’s face. “The Dib can have a few moments,” he said. “One team is already out.” 

Dib swallowed, poking his neck a bit, and then down, just barely touching the lines, and his skin around them. He didn’t  _ feel _ much… “Ah. You’re… filtering it out? ...How much… filtering? I mean, I’m still planning on being careful, and… how much distance- which team?” On the other hand, he didn’t really care, he didn’t really  _ know _ the teams, even after the introduction. And they probably hadn’t been kidnapped and forced like him…

“A lot. This air is very strong. Zim had forgotten that the Diblet and his terran  **worm** body would not do well, with no pak!” Zim snorted, then pointed up, at a floating screen above them. “The collectizite team. They brought no air filtration, or anything for cyanide. They likely assumed this planet would not be used again. Fools.”

“The collectiz- oh. Okay, yeah, then I  _ really _ don’t care,” Dib answered, blinking and looking up. He’d forgotten that was there. That was… weird. “So. It’s doing the same for you. And… will we be able to use the snow or ice for water?” He was getting a pretty good idea about the terrain here, at least, and it didn’t look bad. “Ah- we can go. I- don’t need more time?” He glanced back up, and oh- they were showing the bodies. As little as he cared for that particular race- they were somehow worse than Irkens!- Dib really didn’t need to  _ see _ that.

Waving a hand, Zim nodded as Dib got up. “We should,” he said. “My pak will filter out any poisons or anything that is dangerous to us.” It was very odd to feel the slight tug of the pak lines when he moved, and he had to stay relatively close, but… Dib was glad for it, and grateful to Zim- which was a shocking feeling, honestly. 

“...Ah. Another worry… Will this help when we get higher? The mountain looks tall, and hypoxia is a thing. ...For me,” Dib asked after they’d been walking for a while. He was pretty sure the answer was yes, or maybe ‘of course’- he wasn’t out of breath, after all, and normally he would be, at least a bit. He could also see that they weren’t going to make it to the top in one day, or at least in the amount of time he usually considered ‘one day’, so he was looking for the sort of terrain that might make a good camp. A  _ protected _ camp, because he did remember that, and suspected the only reason Zim wasn’t going to go off and try to slaughter everyone was because he had to carry Dib along now.

“Mm. Most likely, yes. But as long as the Dib is attached to Zim’s pak he will be fine,” Zim answered, scoffing. He looked around, then started walking. “The sooner Zim and Dib get to the top, the better,” he said. Dib sighed, then bent, picking up his trenchcoat. He was glad that Zim had taken it off his personage before helping him- it would definitely be useful for them both. 

“Yes, absolutely.” And… it was honestly a bit funny, watching Zim just… trudge along. And he wasn’t feeling as tired as he should be, Dib was sure, which meant that Zim was probably sharing more than just filtering. That thought really, really ought to be terrifying, but it… wasn’t. He was… safe with Zim- at least here. And Dib’s main thought was on not being useless, because he didn’t want Zim to  _ utterly _ dismiss him. Not that he would do much else…

Even with the shared resources, Dib was surprised when Zim was the one that lagged behind after a few hours. “Want to stop for a break?” the human asked, looking up. “How quick does the sun go down on this planet, anyways? They dropped us off, like, mid-afternoon, so… We should figure out camping, too.” 

“Zim does not need  _ breaks _ ! But… it is even less safe in the dark. We still have a couple hours… What is Dib-stink thinking?” Normally that would be annoying, since Dib had literally just said camping, but… well, Dib wondered if Zim had ever heard of camping, really. Glancing up at the sky-screen showed that none of the other teams were slowing or doing anything camping-like, apart from the Vortians, who were… grazing, it seemed. It kind of counted? And the Plokosians were, from all appearances,  _ smoking _ .

Dib frowned, looking over at the nearby tree line, and the rocky outcroppings nearby. “If we make it over there, we can build a shelter. I don’t suppose you can climb, Zim?” The tease made Zim scoff, and Dib shrugged. “Camping, Zim. It’s when you make a shelter and defense for the night somewhere. We can use the time to gather supplies, too. The snacks I brought won’t last long and we both need water.” 

“Shelter, yes, yes. And defense, even  _ better _ . How will you make beds? Supplies other than snacks?” And… of  _ course _ Zim really hadn’t heard about camping. And they couldn’t divide up the work, either. At least he knew Zim was a quick study! They were also getting closer to the trees, though Dib wasn’t expecting Zim to grab him by the back of his shirt and simply carry him up outcropping with pak-legs. In hindsight, he probably should have.

When he was put down, he looked around again. “Thanks,” he said. “If this isn’t poisonous, it seems to be close to moss.” Dib bent, touching the squishy soft plants underneath his feet. “We can use that for bedding. And I’m sure there are fruit trees around, and fish in water sources.” He straightened again, reaching up and grabbing for a branch from the tree-like plant above. “Yeah, this’ll do nicely.” 

“Even if it is ‘poisonous’, it poses no threat. Or have you forgotten already?” Zim snapped, seeming distracted. After a moment, he started pulling up the moss-like plants, laying them over still-growing plants. “And it is not,” he added a moment later. Dib nodded a bit, tugging on the branch and not really able to get it down alone. There were things like pine-cones, though, and he was able to dig out what had to be seeds. And then, ignoring all instincts and teaching about not doing this, Dib tasted them, actually trusting the promises Zim had given. And they didn’t taste bad. A bit almond-y, maybe.

“Poisonous internally and externally could be different,” Dib answered absently, before offering a handful of the pine-nuts. Zim looked entirely skeptical. “Food is food,” he said. “Come on.” While Zim ate, Dib reached down and took his knife from his boot to better cut the pine-cone things down. 

He also cut a branch off, after a bit, leaving Zim to watch and eat a bit as Dib worked on a rough lean-to. He wasn't expecting Zim to help, but it was nice. The announcer overhead seemed stunned by the actions, as well… "Why does Diblet have a knife?" Zim asked, interrupting Dib's thoughts. "Would not cooking the seeds help?" he added, pulling out something that- honestly, it was probably just as likely to explode as anything.

“It’s useful,” Dib answered. He dragged over more branches, stacking and camouflaging them a bit more. “And I took a few survival seminars a few semesters ago…” A moment later, and he bent to start digging a small fire pit, only to pause. “Will that cook the seeds or… hm. Well. We can try? Otherwise I can make a fire.”

“It is meant to pop corn,” Zim answered, putting some nuts in the top and then pausing. “Water may help, as little as it is  _ needed _ right now.” And that was true, Dib realized- he didn’t feel the need to use a bathroom, and the human rather refused to think too much about that. “Ugh. What makes you think your  _ foolish _ survival seminars will be of any use  _ here _ ?”

“Zim, I had no clue I was coming. I just keep a knife around now because of them. But, hey, I am sure it’ll come in handy some way.” Dib thought about it, then shrugged. “Also, I doubt pine nuts will pop like popcorn, but if they do, that’ll be great.” 

“They  _ will _ heat, though,” Zim answered, frowning again- and then actually closing his eyes a moment.  _ Calming _ himself. That was new. “...Popping would be great. The Mighty ZIM assumes you are not willing to leave them while they heat to find water?”

Dib cocked his head. “Do you think anyone will be close enough to steal it? Or do we even care if they do? If poisoning is useless or doesn’t matter, then I don’t see why we can’t just leave it to go find water. I don’t suppose you’ve got containers in there, too?”

Zim pulled a few things out, before offering one empty corn can. “GIR must have hidden this! Filthy thing…” It would do, though, and he did seem to know it. And it was further obvious that he absolutely had  _ not _ learned much from watching earlier seasons. On the other hand, they were both still alive, and had found food and a safe enough place, and Dib thought most of that was a minor miracle.

“It’ll work,” Dib said. He and Zim looked, carefully searching for a river of some sort. But they had to stay nearby. “We want flowing water,” he said to Zim. “I know your pak can filter and everything, but flowing water tastes better….” After a bit, they did find a shallow stream. Dib could see darker shapes in the water when they got close enough, and grinned, before stopping at a tree to grab at another branch. 

Zim watched Dib as the human beat at the water, driving the fish towards the bank. One or two flopped up, and another fell victim to a pak-leg, slicing past Dib’s head. In other situations, it would be a threat- though, looking at Zim in surprise, Dib  _ did _ catch a sadistically satisfied smile, so most likely Zim was still meaning it that way.

Before long they had a bit of water in the corn can, and a number of decent sized fish. Returning to the camp, Dip spoke up. “So… you’re not trying to kill me. That’s a big plus. And it’s entirely because of this game, right?”

“Zim has  _ never _ tried to kill you! Or you would be  _ dead _ !” Zim answered, a complete and obvious lie. “The Dib is also not making any  _ pitiful _ attempt to hinder me,” he added. “It is… easier. And filtering is… less difficult than anticipated.”

"Uh huh," Dib said. He set to work making the fire while Zim checked the pine nuts. They weren't popped, but they had taken on a nutty smell. "Looks good," Dib commented, scraping bark to make a better tinder, and bending to fish his lighter from a pocket. "So, what other types of things are possible for this race?" he asked. 

“Dib has an imagination,” Zim answered, before shrugging. “There will be puzzles, and traps. In the past, teams have even had to join forces. Anything and everything. That is what makes it  _ great _ .” He paused a bit, and started gathering more pine nuts, scooping the cooked ones onto a cleanish rock. “And other planets. Between legs, we shall be housed in luxury! Do you begin to see how lucky you are, Dib-thing?”

“Uh-huh. I hope I don’t get put on academic probation,” Dib said, rolling his eyes. A click and the fire started to grow from the little pile, while he shoved the lighter back into his pocket. “I’m just trying to think ahead, that’s all. Hopefully not every atmosphere will be poisonous.” Though being attached to Zim wasn’t terrible.

“Most likely not. This may still be required on occasion, but likely not long-term,” Zim answered, either quite calm or quite tired. “What…  _ is _ ‘academic-’ Ah. You’re still skooling, of course, and fear they will complain- They would be fools to do so! This is better than  _ five _ skools! ...What can they teach you, anyway, Dib-beast?”

Dib rolled his eyes again, then shrugged. “Eh. I’m just going for the degree- it’s a piece of paper saying I finished college and can work certain jobs. Then I’ll get into grad-skool, and get another paper. Probably. I don’t know.” As the fire started crackling bigger, Dib dragged more wood over, working things open with his knife to make sticks to cook their fish on. 

“Ah. Human-coding,” Zim said, obviously finding some parallel from his own culture. From some of the things Tak had let slip, Dib though he knew. “...What will Dib  _ do _ with the paper? Is it needed to find bigfeets?” Was Zim… bored? Trying to make conversation? That made sense, though, and Dib didn’t mind talking, not at all.

“Mm.” Dib shrugged again. “I’ve stopped looking for them,” he said. He didn’t miss the way Zim froze, though he pretended that he did. “I mean, I know more about stuff like that, I’ve found a ton of paranormal stuff, but… eh. No one cares, and I figure I’ll just find a job somewhere, or whatever.” 

“You’re  _ lying _ ,” Zim said, the same accusation he threw out on more than one occasion in the past. “...Not that humans do not care. They still have not noticed the missing planets,” he added, and oh, that was only the start, really. Dib didn’t bother to explain that. “What job will Dib take while waiting for  _ me _ , the mighty  _ Zim _ , to take over?”

Dib rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Zim,” he said. It was almost depressing- he couldn’t even muster the anger at being called a liar. “I don’t know. I might go do field research. Maybe I’ll join a fire-tower group. I haven’t figured it out, and I don’t know how much I care, honestly.”

Zim watched a bit as Dib cooked the fish, and nibbled at the pine-nuts as he did so. Finally, he grinned, which was still more creepy than not, especially  _ this _ grin. This was the one that meant the Irken had a ‘grand plan’. “When  _ we _ win this, Dib-stick will be quite famous. Not as famous as Zim, but still passibly so. There would be many of the  _ inferior _ races who would pay monies to  _ hope _ to have a chance of doing half so well. Or just to be shown places.”

"What, become an alien tour guide on earth?" Dib asked, cocking his head to the side. "I suppose that would make sense, though I would worry about anyone getting eaten by a bear, or puma, or alligator or- well, you get the point." 

“On earth. On elsewhere. Eating would not be a problem, that is what  _ waivers  _ are for. Just like you-” Zim paused, frowned, then shrugged. “As Earth is soon to be under Irken rule, the Almighty Tallest likely signed for you. Or paid more.” And Dib goggled, surprised that that was even a  _ consideration _ .

A moment later and he pulled himself together, shrugging. "I guess. Don't know why they even bothered, no one would care anyway." He pushed that aside, then went back to cooking and turning the fish, offering one to Zim and then joking, "Think we could get salt between legs of this thing?" 

Zim thought, looking at the fish, then nodded. “There is sure to be salt at the hotels. The Dib may get anything which he finds. As long as it is on your person at the start of the next leg, it is fair game. ...Though, maybe do not stuff a pillowcase full. That is considered unfair.”

“Right. We don’t need a pillowcase, but just enough to make anything we catch and eat taste better,” Dib said. He reached into his pocket, offering Zim one of the snagged snacks next, offering it to Zim. 

“It need not be a case of simply  _ salt _ ,” Zim huffed, taking the snacks before tearing into the fish. It was the first time Dib had actually  _ seen _ Zim eat meat, or anything that might be considered meat, and it was… actually surprisingly frightening, his teeth cracking through everything quite efficiently. “We may also receive bonuses.”

“Bonuses?” Dib asked, interested. He took his own fish, using his knife to cut into it and toss bits into the fire. “Cool.” He thought about it a moment, and then made note that he should steal a few things from the hotel room. If it was anything like one on earth, there would be useful things. 

"Our sponsors know what is coming, and depending on popularity, may help in various ways," Zim answered, shrugging- a gesture he had learned on earth, Dib was sure. "Diblet should eat bones. You are low on far too many things." Great, now he was actively worrying for Dib's health?

Dib shook his head, continuing to eat and stretching as he finished. The leftover bits, he tossed into the fire, before reaching for more wood. “I’m sure I’m fine, Zim,” he said. He grinned a little, taking another fish and offering Zim a second one. It was already getting darker, and they should rest as much as they could.

"Do you want a list?" Zim asked. “Zim could give you a list. The filtrates are handy for synthesis, anyway.” It was, apparently, just an offer, and then Zim shoved the bag of snacks at Dib, and just  _ when _ had the little menace learned to  _ share _ ? Dib was pretty sure that the idea of ‘teammates’ wasn’t an Irken one, not really, so…

Dib rolled his eyes, then took a handful of snacks, chewing thoughtfully. "Yeah, Zim, you can give me a list later." He shook his head, and wasn't sure what he was doing with all of this. Did he really care? 

“Zim can give a list  _ now _ !” the menace answered, before one of the cables  _ tingled _ , and Dib’s  _ brain _ tingled, and this couldn’t be planned out or healthy or- A neat list popped into view, or his minds’ eye, or something, Dib wasn’t sure. It also probably wasn’t in English, properly, but that was so far beside the point that it was laughable. It was… a list of chemicals and nutrients, apparently, exactly as promised, and what the  _ hell _ ?

That led to blinking, and then Dib huffed. “Okay, okay!” he said, waving a hand and willing the list away. “Most of that isn’t a big deal, anyway, I’m fine,” he added, before poking Zim. “You’re the skinnier one.” And that was true. Dib had taken to working out and running and had put on a lot more muscle-mass. And Zim… was taller, but still short, and skinny as hell. 

A moment later the tingling stopped, and Dib was pretty sure Zim had pulled his lekku closer, likely realizing just what he’d done. Dib refused to treat it like a big deal, though. “Zim does not  _ need _ to perform physical labor! That is what Dib is for, since Gir is not here,” the Irken answered, which actually wasn’t even that insulting.

Dib rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, whatever,” he said, waving a hand and finishing the food in front of him. It was dark by the time they added extra wood to the fire, and the announcer had left. Or something. But Dib was sure they could make it to the top of the mountain in a couple more days.

The next morning- much too early in the morning, but he’d slept okay- Dib was startled by the offer of caffeine. When he hesitated, Zim  _ assured _ him that he had studied the effects quite carefully, and knew perfectly well how much was usually in coffee. Dib had agreed then, and only a moment later he could  _ feel _ it flooding his system. They also stopped by the river to drink a bit more, and it still seemed to be mostly hiking. Of course, the other teams, who hadn’t stayed in one place, seemed much worse off.

They stopped half way up the mountain- or at least, a larger portion of the way up. One team had gotten to the top already by the time they started again the following morning. Zim was annoyed, but Dib snorted. “We’re fine,” he said. It was getting colder as they traveled, and before long, Zim was shivering. While they took a break, Dib held out his trenchcoat. “It’ll be warm for you,” he said. 

“And what about the cold and  _ you _ ?” Zim snapped, though he  _ did _ take the coat. It was  _ ridiculously _ large on him, and Dib refused to admit it was kind of adorable. Just like he didn’t admit they had moved closer so that less of the pak-cable was exposed. “...And true, I suppose few winning teams come first in  _ everything _ ,” he admitted after a moment more.

“I can handle the cold a little easier, and I’m bigger,” Dib answered. “Come on. The sooner we can get up the side of this place, the better. And once we’re at the top, you can cause an avalanche, if you really want, eh?” It was chilly, but the snow would be worse, and they needed to keep moving. 

Zim, the absolute menace that he was, perked up noticeably at that, nodding. "Yes. The mighty-" and to Dib's surprise, Zim controlled himself before Dib had to remind him about noises. Then again, he had noticed the Irken was actually quite good at getting what he wanted- which suggested odd things about their whole rivalry, and was really why Dib didn't worry much anymore. "Come, we are nearly there."

They did reach snow at some point, and Zim didn't argue as Dib helped him wrap the coat more firmly around the thin frame. At the top, they could see the goal post, bright and well lit in the coming darkness. The announcer was louder, too, though not as loud as Zim as they reached the platform. 

The best part was that Zim's scream could even be played off as an unthinking, unplanned reaction, while behind them the snow cracked and twanged. A moment later and he could see a few more teams doing their best to move out of the way- and really? Dib didn't even feel bad about it.

Dib chuckled. He was cold too though, and more than happy to enter the warmed 'completion' circle, where it was announced that he and Zim were moving on. Almost immediately, they were surrounded by other aliens and being led to a transport, lights and sounds and so many languages around them. 

To his surprise, Zim did  _ not _ remove the pak-cables the first moment the air was safe. The Irken did step closer, and make some attempts at hiding, maybe, but he was mostly involved in waving, chattering- after a moment more, Dib’s  _ brain _ tingled again, and he could understand that most of the languages were just asking what they had been doing, why they’d chosen to stop- and to his surprise, Zim wasn’t  _ quite _ hogging all the credit. That lasted until they were mostly alone, and then Zim turned to him. “Try not to scream. There should still be enough for Dib-stink to heal quickly.” And that was his warning.

There were three lines total in him, each one yanking out. It hurt like nothing he’d ever felt, and he actually  _ didn’t _ scream, though mostly it was because he forgot how to breath. When he came back to himself, he was staring up at Zim from the ground, a migraine shooting through his skull. “More warning would have been nice,” he grumbled. 

“It wouldn’t have helped,” Zim pointed out, utterly  _ baffled _ . “Good news, no-one here knows English. Or that you know more than that. Look, you’re already clotting.” He was, at least, but Dib didn’t really care about that right now, trying to  _ think _ past the migraine.

Dib rolled over, holding his head. “Do you have anything for migraines?” he asked, trying to blink past it. He wasn’t doing the greatest job, but at least he thought he could try. “Ugh. This is worse than a hangover.” 

The answer was a quick syringe full of Dib didn’t know  _ what _ , and the migraine receding. He felt good enough to stand up a moment later, which turned out to be a good thing. Whatever smaller transport they had, apparently, been on seemed to be connecting to a bigger one, and this time when they were left alone again they were  _ really _ alone, and in apparently a hotel suite.

Zim immediately went to a panel on the wall, and Dib realized that he was ordering food, if he understood correctly. “Dib-stick,” he said. “Come pick things to consume.” Dib joined him, and he knew well that Zim was making faces at some of his choices. 

“Thanks- I don’t suppose we can get fresh clothing or something?” Dib asked. “I know you want to get clean, too.”

It  _ shouldn’t _ have been a surprise that the panel also linked to something that was maybe like a gift-shop. Zim picked out the clothing, which was probably for the best, but he did look at Dib as he did so, and picked things that the human was actually pretty okay with. “What we buy and don’t bring will become luggage, and be ready between legs,” Zim explained, and Dib wondered a bit about who was actually paying. He paused a moment later, lekku shifting, before turning towards Dib a bit more. “Zim will bathe first. And ensure that Dib can find the correct soap.”

“Thanks,” Dib said, sounding surprised. He spent a little bit of time perusing the gift shop while Zim showered, and barely glanced up when the Irken came back, looking relaxed and pleased and in what amounted to a fluffy robe. 

It was… strange. He had  _ never _ seen Zim in anything other than his uniform- disguises didn’t count, since the uniform was still there underneath. That wasn’t the case here- he could see Zim’s  _ hands _ . And sure, Tak had taken to wearing more ‘normal’ clothing, so it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Irken hands, but- Dib realized he was getting really silly, and he  _ did _ badly want to shower, and left to do so before his thoughts could get weirder.


	2. It’s been a hot minute, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Hope you're enjoying. As a note, this is un-beta'ed, so if you notice anything, let us know!

Zim was glad when Dib left to get clean- humans after a few days stunk, and while he knew he didn’t smell like Flooshian pintels himself, he was glad that the human was just as invested in being clean. 

Still, he wasn’t expecting Dib to emerge a bit later, the robe wrapped around his waist while he dried his hair with his towel. Zim had to double-take, startled when he realized that, indeed, the human had grown in stature and strength and  _ weirdness _ . There was black on his skin, creating symbols of some sort in multiple places, and he was well muscled, and- he hadn’t noticed Zim staring yet, simply saying, “Did the food get here?” 

“Food is here,” Zim agreed, motioning. “As are souvenirs!” Which mostly meant Dib’s clothing, though it seemed the human had actually selected a few things more. Zim didn’t care, even the things that were  _ obviously _ not of human origin. By now, Zim was pretty sure he could hold a full parade proclaiming himself Irken, with no disguise at all, and no-one would do more than enjoy a parade. He’d been  _ sorely _ tempted to find out, even, a couple times. “What has the Dib-thing  _ done _ to his skin?” And the wounds from his cables were, in fact, healing nicely- Zim was pleased he’d got that dosage right.

“Awesome,” Dib said. He blinked a moment later. “What? Oh- you mean my tattoos? I got a couple a few years back and then this one last year,” he said, pointing to one on his hip that Zim hadn’t even yet noticed. “It’s just ink under the skin, Zim. Nothing bad.” He turned, revealing another on his back, looping from his shoulder. When he looked back at Zim, it was mostly to gather his clothing. 

“What does it  _ mean _ ?” Zim asked, going over to prod the skin. For the most part, it was smooth, like the rest of the human’s skin, but now and then, especially on the thinner lines, Zim could feel the tell-tale raised texture of scars. “ _ Why _ did you feel the need to mark yourself?” The marks, tattoos, weren’t  _ bad _ , and Zim gave up his exploration a moment later to collect his food. He had  _ missed _ good food like this, and… well, Zim did wonder about Dib’s reaction to some of it. This whole thing had to be his enemy’s  _ dream _ !

Dib shrugged, then pointed to each of the marks as he spoke, “This one is of a moth, and this one is a symbol for strength…” he went on while Zim listened and ate, and while he gathered his own plate of food. “I just wanted to do it.” 

“Human-beasts,” Zim opined at the end, shrugging a bit. “Zim supposes the marks are not entirely horrible,” he added, already making note of where they were so he could avoid damaging them if Dib required more filtering. “What is Dib-thing’s impression of the race so far? Next planet is more likely to be puzzles. ...And more… ‘camping’.”

“It reminds me of the Hunger Games,” Dib said. “It’s… interesting. I guess I’m stuck in it, huh?” He started to eat, showing interest in one of the dishes. “This is really good, what is it?” he asked. “And it is so weird being out in space. It’s like a childhood dream come true.” 

“Calazian pie. They are a plant people- it is not made  _ from _ them,” Zim answered, adding the last part just in case Dib worried. Why he would, Zim wasn’t sure- humans ate living things all the time, and it wasn’t like Calazians could  _ think _ . “Dib-beast could visit after.” He vaguely remembered the whole ‘Hunger Games’ thing- hi skool had been full of people talking about it, and Zim couldn’t avoid it if he wanted to. He was also pretty sure GIR had watched movies about it.

Dib perked. “Cool,” he said. He was neater than most of the pig-like beasts on Earth, and Zim hummed. “Maybe, I guess? I don’t know. You keep saying stuff like that, but… pretty sure it’s a pipe dream.” 

“...Why?” Even  _ when _ he took over, Zim wasn’t actually planning on killing Dib- though he wasn’t sure when that had happened. Of course, if he killed the human in the process, that was different, but after? It seemed… pointless. Not at all fun, like this was.

“I dunno. I don’t want to get my hopes up. Seriously, Zim, why do you care? It’s not like I’ll bother you either way. You’ll be off doing your invadering thing.” 

“Yes, yes, of course, that is not the  _ point _ . Plans require no  _ hopes _ to get up. The Dib-thing has proven adept at enforcing your will in the past. You should  _ know _ that,” Zim answered, and he was almost not eating in favor of looking at Dib. This wasn’t even a case of humans being different from Irkens- really, Dib had  _ certainly _ spent too much time around him and Tak, but that was what made him tolerable.

Dib shrugged and didn’t answer, instead focussing on his food. He ate a bit more than Zim expected. Setting his dish aside, he collected his clothing and disappeared into the bathroom to change. “We don’t know how long we’ll be here, right?” he asked. 

“Not precisely,” Zim agreed. “A full night, for sure, after the last team passes, dies, or forfeits. The morning after, we’ll be on transports and receive messages, like the start.” Thinking about that, Zim grabbed some of the little seasoning packets, stealing these for himself. Dib could get the next set. “Earth rotation length is not unlike the average length,” he added, though the human probably could have guessed that from the last place.

“Okay, good to know,” Dib said. “Gives us time to consider what we want to take and stuff, right? I definitely want to order a regular backpack. That’s not bad, right? That, and some proper tinder, maybe a small kit… And a needle and thread.” 

“Not all of that will be available,” Zim answered- tinder? That was to start fires, he thought. He wasn’t sure what a ‘kit’ might be- there were kits for nearly everything, so what was Dib wanting? “Dib-beast may look more after sleep. Do you want to check on the losers?”

Dib nodded. “Yeah, that’s probably smart,” he said. “We can check in for their weaknesses and strengths.” Zim was rather surprised by that, too. When had Dib gotten better at planning and scheming? 

Still… this meant they could scheme together, and that thought brought  _ such _ a heady rush. That could be amazing! Zim scuttled over to the viewscreen, turning it on and bringing back the remote. “Sleep when you are tired. ...Or not, we have at least a day more.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Dib said, settling in with his legs crossed while Zim clicked and moved through the channels for them. After a moment of watching, he went to the ordering screen and selected a backpack and small tool kit. The hotel had paper that was good enough for tinder and starting fires. When he came back, he commented, “They’re dumb. They could just go around that boulder. It would be less energy, even if it took more time.”

“Of course they are dumb,” Zim agreed. “There are many races even  _ more _ piggy-dumb than humans. Zim is… unsure how humans have not moved past their planet. There is sufficient technology for  _ that _ , at least.” It was probably Professor Membrain’s fault, Zim suspected- if he spent as much as two hours on the concept, they’d be out! “...Brief forays from NASA-place do not count,” Zim added, before Dib could even consider answering.

Dib plucked an added snack bag from their cart and started nibbling. “Honestly? I think it was one of the wars we had. We got to mars and were planning further when we had a massive war. From what I can find, it wiped most of us out, and the fallout is just… everything wrong with humans as a species. It’s embarrassing. Would you believe we had a worse leader than President President man?” 

“Ah,  _ that’s _ where the radiation in the water is from. Full colony, attempted revolt? Or half colony, inter- aah. Yes, it must be quite the source of embarrassment. When the Empire takes over, humans may forget that, along with the rest of their past,” Zim agreed, waving a bit. “The crowd likes you, Dib-thing,” he added a moment later, as there was speculation over why the human was digging stuff out of trees.

The human blinked. “Huh. That’s weird,” he said. He leaned back on his hands, stretching his torso back and making his spine pop like Gir’s popcorn. “Most aliens don’t know about foraging, do they?” he asked. “Humans have been using wild sources of food for as long as we’ve existed…” 

“Why must Dib-thing allow his body to makes such  _ sounds _ ?” Zim grumbled, as much as he knew it was out of the human’s control. “Zim suspects other races have forgotten, or destroyed all such resources. How humans avoided such- likely weirdos such as Dib. But it has proven marginally useful. Not  _ required _ , you realize, but it did  _ marginally _ lessen the energy burden of allowing you access to my superior filtering.” And that made things wildly more pleasant, just like sleeping in that small shelter near Dib had been… tolerable.

Dib shrugged, still leaning back. “Thanks for that, by the way,” he said. He thought about things, Zim could see the gears grinding in his head. “Really, I mean it, Zim. You must really want to win.” 

“Yes. Zim has said this,” Zim agreed. A moment later, and remembering that they weren’t watched at all in here, he added, “And it would not  _ do _ to lose you to simple atmospheric conditions. You are  _ Zim’s _ ! ...Enemy.” Maybe Dib was distracted enough to buy that, even.

“Uh huh,” Dib said. He raised a brow. “And yet, you’re suggesting I be an intergalactic tourist guide after this, so something tells me that’s not the full story.” He didn’t pry, though, looking back at the screen and snorting at the way the announcer spoke. 

“It  _ may _ bring your pathetic planet into the Empire with less… fire,” Zim allowed. “...Or it may simply keep the Dib-thing occupied.” And either of those would be okay. He was sure. They’d have to be?

Dib didn’t answer, except to say, “I don’t care about the cities, but could you, like, leave the untouched places alone? You know, for touresting. Or whatever.” It was clear that he was humoring Zim, that he didn’t believe any of it- or maybe he really didn’t care anymore. 

“Ghoul hunting,” Zim agreed, nodding. “Tourista? No… Campia? No, they'd expect buildings. Survivia!” Really, it wouldn’t be  _ that _ hard- especially since Zim was really sure that humanity would never even realize they didn’t rule their own planet any more. And the ones that did, well. Dib was… They would find a way to keep them, or something.

“Heh,” Dib said. He went quiet again, just watching as the game continued, though it was getting dark there, and it wasn’t likely any team would make it before the following day. Eventually, they finished gorging and went to bed. Zim couldn’t tell if he was disappointed or not that they had separate beds. 

He woke before Dib, and chose food he thought the human might enjoy, not bothering to deny that fact to himself. He also made sure there was caffeine- Zim had been the cause of a few missed caffeine doses in their past, and that had always ended  _ horribly _ . And there was nothing weird about the fact that he knew how long  _ his enemy _ would sleep, either. Still… it was nearly noon, or the equivalent, when Zim gave in to his own boredom. “Dib is quiet.”

“I’m usually quiet,” Dib answered. “Why?” Zim’s lekku twitched. The Dib he knew was far from quiet, usually. Had it really been that many years since he’d been around his enemy for a longer period of time?

“You have no questions. The first day, sure. Even then…” Even then, they had mostly been goal oriented, not idle or sadistic curiosity. Dib had barely even asked the cables invading him! And sure, Zim was aware that his enemy and Tak had struck up something, but there was no  _ way _ she would answer all the questions Dib had to have!

“Oh.” Dib blinked, and then looked over at Zim. “I just assumed you wouldn’t tell me and I have nothing to bribe with.” He shrugged. “And I don’t know what all I should ask. I mean… there’s so much. I still don’t know why your leaders nabbed me to do this. Other than to annoy you.” 

“It is a test. Of  _ Zim _ , to prove I can work with  _ anyone _ ! And likely of Dib-stink. And you  _ are _ popular.” Zim shrugged, because it was quite obvious to him. Then again, Dib really didn’t know the Tallest that well. “...Perhaps… they also remember… past Tallest…” Who had cared, slightly more, about how the Irken Empire had appeared. Not for any  _ fear _ , of course, but- well, it  _ was _ a bit easier when there weren’t uprisings.

Dib didn’t look convinced. “Zim…” he started, only to pause and sigh. “I have a bad feeling that that’s not all of it. They’re up to something else. Why else would they want you to do this, even though you haven’t given them Earth yet? And me- I haven’t fought you in years, and… wouldn’t they know that?” 

“Maybe if they  _ cal- _ ” Zim cut himself off, lekku pulling flat against him and  _ ugh _ . He even chilled, just a bit. “It is like when they allowed Zim to train at Hobo 13. They know what I am  _ capable _ of! And they’re probably betting quite a lot of monies on  _ Zim _ !” Yeah, certainly. “...What does  _ Dib _ accuse them of?” And that was… probably something he shouldn’t ask, Zim realized much too late.

“I’m not exactly  _ accusing _ ,” Dib said. “I’m just  _ wondering _ . What if they assumed we’d, like, kill each other just out of spite? What if this is for their entertainment, because of everything. I just mean… they said some stuff. After they grabbed me. I don’t think they realized I could hear them on video, or that I understood them.” He looked at Zim, amber eyes  _ staring _ . 

Oh. Yeah. Dib  _ had _ said they had spoken to him, Zim recalled. Or at him. “Your  _ feeble _ human brain should be incapable of comprehending the intricacies of the Irken language,” he agreed. Of course Dib knew it- Gaz probably did too. They were Membranes, so that made perfect sense. As for the rest of what the human had said… Zim ducked a bit, deflating. “Well. What if they  _ did _ , somehow, assume that? Zim shall prove,  _ again _ , that I am the greatest Invader! And Dib may secure the survival of some larger part of his race.”

“You realize that there are a number of human languages with clicks and shit, right?” Dib asked, clearly not impressed. “It’s not even a complex syllabree.” He shrugged, and then scoffed. “I’m just saying that I don’t trust your leaders, alright? You may think of them as grand and tall but that means jack all to me.” 

“Only  _ humans _ would still use more than one language on their home planet. Just  _ pick _ one,” Zim answered, perfectly aware that he didn’t care. “And they  _ are _ tall,  _ Dib _ . That is why they are  _ called _ the  _ ALMIGHTY TALLEST _ .” Zim was pretty pleased that he mostly managed to not screech that- he didn’t want to deal with noise complaints, really. He paused, too, and Dib was  _ still _ not impressed, which was expected… “There… is…  _ maybe _ . The  _ slightest _ chance… that they have not fully aged. Grown. And two is…  _ uncommon _ ,” he allowed after a moment more.

"So you had teenagers as leaders," Dib said, sighing. "Tall doesn't always mean smart, Zim, or good. Don't you remember the collectians that tried to steal you, and then me? Tall, but so fucking dumb." He held up his hand in surrender, then shook his head. "I'm just saying, okay, that I don't trust them." 

"They do not  _ count _ ," Zim answered. "Just like Dib-stink's parental unit." Or Dib himself, if Zim were honest. "However… Yes. The former Tallest met their fates… early. But age should not matter! They obviously have paks as well. I… suppose Dib has little reason to trust…" They didn't care what was best for  _ Earth _ , after all.

Dib rolled his eyes, but went quiet again. Zim wasn’t sure if he liked the silence from the human, or hated it. He was leaning more towards hate at the moment, especially when they got the things that Dib had ordered. His lekku went back at the sight. It was all within bounds, but… was any of it really  _ useful _ ? 

Well. The knife had been, shockingly. And Zim had been around humans enough to know that needle and thread could be used on more than just fabric- not that he didn’t have stuff that could help with that, but maybe he wouldn’t share, or be able- it was a sensible enough precaution, anyway. The other stuff… Well, it was more useful than the fluffy robes that Zim  _ knew _ another team would steal. It happened every season.

Dib also added a few of the denser snacks into his bag, and seasoning packets from their breakfast and lunch meals. And then he simply sat at the window and just… watched. It was weird to see the human just watching the bustle of the planet below. Zim wasn’t sure what to make of it. 

“We could go out,” Zim said suddenly, catching himself by surprise. But now that he’d spoken, of course he was just going to continue! “We’re not prisoners. We could get dinner. The Dib should be safe- human tolerances are… wider than many species.” They had  _ for sure _ the rest of this day, and a night to rest. And maybe Dib would be excited again?

“Really?” Dib asked, perking a little. “That could be fun. Do you really want to?” He smiled, turning to look at Zim. “I’d like to see what’s around, if I can.” It was subdued, and Zim definitely hated the way that made him feel. What had happened to his enemy?

“Of course! And much conversation shall be in Irken, so you should even understand it. How good are you at speaking?” They were both already dressed, and it was simply a matter of setting a beacon and grabbing the key- for Zim. Dib hadn’t bothered with shoes, and was having to pull those on, too.

The human snorted. “I haven’t done much speaking,” he said. He tugged the laces of his boots, tying them with dumb knots. “But wouldn’t you want me to pretend I can’t understand? I mean, all things considered…” 

“Who would they tell? We are unmonitored. If you prefer deception, it does not bother  _ Zim _ ,” the Irken answered, shrugging a bit. And… shouldn’t he tell the Tallest? But then… shouldn’t they already know? They should, or they should guess, or at least  _ act _ as though it were possible, so… “Zim is certain none here understand English, as well. So there is no worry at all.”

“I guess,” Dib said. He shrugged, standing and pulling on his trenchcoat. Zim thought he would never understand the garment until recently. It was  _ warm _ and sturdy. He wondered what it was made out of, actually… Those thoughts distracted him and he turned away, waiting for Dib to join him. “Thanks,” Dib added. 

Zim paused, looking at Dib uncertainly. They rarely thanked each other, even when they  _ meant _ it- Dib had been rather effusive lately, actually. Zim assumed saving his life explained that. “We shall explore  _ every _ planet, yes?” Zim answered, not sure what else to say- and maybe after seeing everything, Dib would realize how unimportant Earth was, let it be nicely taken over, wild places intact, and enjoy himself like he  _ should _ . He was strong enough for it, at least!

“Okay,” Dib answered. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Lead the way, Zim.” Zim frowned, but did start walking. Maybe Dib was just messing with him on purpose. Except- looking back, the human didn’t seem to be acting slyly. He was completely passive and calm, looking around as they walked. 

When had this  _ happened _ , Zim wondered. Obviously, he knew the man had started going to college. And some time in there, Zim had… taken his mission slower. Noticed he had less with which to work than he thought. Anyway, there wasn’t much point when his enemy wouldn’t see doom coming! But… Dib ought to be running from place to place. Dragging Zim along because he needed transitions, or explanations- clearly the only reason either would allow that!

At some point, Dib did pause, looking at a massive scrawling advertisement of ships and systems. “Are this vortian designs?” he asked. “They remind me of your irken stuff, but I know the vort make a lot of that, right?” He seemed interested, especially in the images of scenic travel. 

“Yes,” Zim said, feeling better now. “Pure vortian technology tends more towards blue and violet,” he added, because that really  _ was _ one of the main differences between them. “Dib-thing should visit Vort. Sleep on the Couch.” Sure, you had to make reservations for that kind of thing, but really, he was  _ Zim _ . Dib would get his time.

Dib laughed quietly, as though it was a big joke. “Sure, Zim,” he said. Did he not believe that that was an option? It was like his ability to believe in  _ doing _ things had been smashed and taken! Zim’s thoughts were moved aside as Dib moved to another advertisement about joining the irken armada. “What’s this?” he asked.

“...Does Dib want to? Usually that is mostly for service-drones. It is not… unheard of for other races to reach Elite, however. Dib could do so easily. ...Winning probably could even qualify…” Really, it  _ was _ at least as hard as Elite tests. Nothing like  _ Invader _ testing, but Zim doubted Dib would want to do  _ that _ , anyway. He paused a moment later, looking at the advertisement closer. “...Zim… forgot. I have not seen one of these since… But that is new.”

“It’s for the military?” Dib asked, blinking. “No thanks.” He moved on, huffing a little as he saw more of the advertisements. “They are really trying to sell this shit, huh? Is that why you joined? I thought you did for science or something, though.” 

“All Irken are in the Armada. Advertisements are for other races, or propaganda.” The word tangled on Zim’s tongue, a purely Earthen word that had no translation, properly speaking. But Zim  _ knew _ that it was all that advertisements could possibly be, if not for other races. ...Maybe even if they  _ were _ for other races. “...Zim  _ did _ choose to work for Elite, Invader- What else might match the  _ glory _ that is  _ Zim _ ? ...At this height. ...But Zim also spent time researching. Doing science.”

Dib hummed quietly, then shrugged and turned. “If that makes you happy, I guess,” he said. He turned again, moving once more through the space, before looking to Zim. “Oh- sorry? Where do you want dinner? Is it like earth? Or what?”

Happy… Zim didn’t really know what to make of that, and shrugged. “Dinner is… available nearly anywhere? Like earth?” he answered, before brightening. “Ah. Restaurants are preferable to attempting cooking. Food-row is in that direction.” Zim waved a hand, but wasn’t worried.  _ He _ wasn’t paying for this.

“I mean… do we go, order, sit down and it comes to us? Or, like, is it take out? What types of food? That kind of thing.” Dib shrugged, then followed. He did look around as they made it towards food-row, but mostly he was quiet again, looking around and examining things as he went. 

“All of those are options. Most commonly, food is ordered, and then given and we walk to a table. But there are many places that employ food-service- Waiters.” And maybe, since Dib was so weird right now, he wouldn’t realize that Zim hadn’t just forgotten the word. “There are many kinds of foods. Dib… saw that?”

“Right, yeah, I did.” Dib didn’t even look at him. Instead he simply went quiet again until they made it, and Zim was at least sure he was as hungry as the Irken was! “What do you want to eat?” Dib asked. “I don’t know what anything is. Guess I have to trust you that it’s not poisonous, huh?” As ‘normal’ as the joke was, Zim didn’t  _ like _ it. 

“...Dib cannot die,” Zim agreed. And yet… would Dib  _ really _ just… Zim pasted a large grin on. “But Zim  _ does _ know something the Dib-beast may enjoy,” he added, before looking around and finding a specific shop. It wasn’t Irken, actually, just had very good desserts and steak-things that Dib might like. The real test was Dib just eating whatever Zim chose for him.

Zim barely hid his unease when Dib  _ did _ just eat what was ordered for him, the two sitting further away from most in the restaurant. “Thanks,“ Dib said absently. “Looks good, and smells pretty good too. What is it? Everything I’ve eaten has been pretty good. Then again, anything is better than what they served in skool. You remember that, right?” At least he was teasing again! 

“Steak. Lab-grown, not from any filthy earth-cows. Or at least close enough,” Zim answered, before making a face. “And Zim had finally managed to  _ purge _ that data! How can you survive  _ that _ , but not be able to take a little bit of cyanide? Skool-slop is  _ clearly _ the more dangerous. Enough to be a full task of this race!”

Dib snorted. “I don’t know, the same reason I can survive far more acidic conditions than you can? Or, actually- you’ve gotta pak, but could you survive without it?” He shrugged, then started to eat. “And we have tougher stomachs than a lot of other species, I think? I mean, from what I can tell, anyway.” 

“Zim could not survive  _ Irk _ without his pak,” Zim admitted, secure in a language that  _ no one _ else knew. He was pretty sure that Dib had to know that already, anyway. Gir, probably. Maybe even the Computer. “Humans…  _ do _ seem to be surprisingly sturdy, for such an  _ inferior _ species.” Though, really, they weren’t any more inferior than just about anything else. Even to the stupidity…

“Oh, huh.” Dib blinked, then frowned. “That isn’t good,” he said, shaking his head. A moment later and he went back to eating. Zim actually felt… okay with the Dib knowing. The human before would have revelled in such a secret. Now he didn’t even seem to consider what he could  _ do _ with it! Zim’s lekku pressed against his skull, and Dib just went on, “You blinded yourself by staring at the sun,” he reminded. “And we don’t even live in a very hot place.” 

“Why should a  _ sun _ , which brings life,  _ burn _ so?” Zim pointed out, frowning. “It’s  _ stupid _ . And what does heat have to do with that?” He didn’t quite follow that part of the thought process. Of course, he should worry at how easy it was to follow Dib’s thoughts most of the time. And Dib was not…  _ acting _ right. Even the lovely dessert Zim was eating didn’t improve his mood much.

“The sun is stronger in hotter places,” Dib answered. He grinned, then shrugged. “It’s good for plants, Zim. Or at least, a lot of them. And- well, anyway, you don’t really care about that.” He continued eating, though he dragged over a little placard from the restaurant, examining it with interest. “How many planets do you think this thing is going to be, anyway?” he asked. 

“Officially, there are eleven. We have lost at least three teams, so down to nine, likely. They probably haven’t finalized anything beyond the first four,” Zim answered, shrugging. “And yes, Zim has noticed plants do better in sun. I’ve been trying to get  _ rid _ of that horrible  _ mint _ for years now…” He glared at Dib- why had he even thought that the plant might be a gift? And how had it started growing after being  _ thrown out _ ?

Dib blinked. “Why don’t you just eat it?” he asked. “I mean, that’s what mint is for. It keeps bugs away and is good for tea and desserts.” Zim blinked, making little sounds as he processed that information and Dib went on. “Seriously, Zim. I thought you liked candy.”

“...Mint flavor is from that…  _ plant _ ? It is not… manufactured?” Zim asked, blinking again and just  _ barely _ holding back more embarrassing sounds. “And tea? What is that- that drink the Dib mentioned. Moonbucks sold it.” He remembered that, but it had never sounded as good as the hot chocolate.

“A fake version, yeah, but it’s better from the plant,” Dib said, chuckling. “There are different types of mint, too. Peppermint, windmint, spearmint, watermint, royalmint- Moonbucks sells all kinds of tea, Zim. I like their earl grey, myself.” He laughed as Zim made more and more sounds, unable to help it, and sounded more like himself. “How’d you never notice the smell was like the candy?” 

“It was much sharper! It smelt like candy- _ poison _ ,” Zim shot back, lekku laying flat. “And I’m not going to just… try eating any random plant! Especially after other attempts at earth-food…” Seriously, was that not  _ obvious _ ? Only considering that Dib’s first action when making camp on a  _ known _ deadly planet was to casually start eating plants… “Is eating plant-things a common human custom? Salads do not count!” Those weren’t random!

Dib had the audacity to  _ laugh _ . "Well, yeah. I mean, if it's not  _ known _ , then you test the plant first. I went right to eating, because you were already filtering, but…" He shook his head, then said, "Humans can eat most stuff, more than a lot of other animals, actually. We are omnivorous generalists. Things that are poisonous or even deadly to other species are safe to us. Like mint." 

“So it  _ is _ a poison!” Zim crowed, before shrugging. “Zim may give it a try,” he allowed, because why not, now that he  _ knew _ … “Wait- but Dib-thing gave it to Zim. On Santa-day.” His fourth one, to be precise- or fifth? Anyway. Had he actually  _ intended _ for Zim to… eat it? Dib… had to have known he’d throw it out- right? And what if he hadn’t?

"I saw you eating candy canes like crazy," Dib said. "And I figured you would throw it away but… why not try and be nice? I was dumb, I know, I know. 'Stupid Dib-stink, enemies don't give gifts' and all that." He waved it away, shrugging. "But hey, if you did keep it, then, whatever. I didn't think you toss it in your yard. Is that where you've tossed everything I gave you over the years?" 

"Not everything," Zim answered, truthfully even. "Some was kept. ...Not even all by Gir. Or because Zim… has not yet found it." That was pathetic. Right? That had to be pathetic. "...I still have your space-pen." That  _ had _ to be pathetic, and he should stop talking.

"Oh, huh. Cool," Dib said, barely reacting except with surprise and… being happy?

He looked back down at his food, finishing up and then taking the plate and wrappers over to a trash can. Zim watched him, glad for the moment to compose himself without Dib there. He finished a moment later as well.

Even with the embarrassment, Zim was willing to call this outing a success. They had eaten, and Zim felt better, as did Dib, and it was  _ nice _ not being on earth for a bit. They meandered their way back to the hotel, and room, and overall it had gone well. Checking the view-screen did alert the pair that the last remaining team had reached the top, but that also wasn't a surprise, and Zim at least was ready for that.

This time, they started in front of a labyrinth- it was a puzzle world, and likely there would be weapons inside. But both in the Irken team looked at each other, then up, towards the top of the structure. “Climb?” Dib asked, grinning. 

Zim was way too pleased by that, nodding. “Of course, Dib-stink,” he huffed. He didn’t help Dib climb this time, and there was no surprise when Dib didn’t  _ need _ help. That was Dib, and they had certainly climbed things enough in their fights. The labyrinth didn’t seem to be  _ that _ large, and Zim wondered if there would be any obstacles on the top part. They would at least be able to see it coming.

They were the only ones to actually start to climb, that much was apparent. Dib paused, though, partially through as they walked along, looking down. “Weapons, right?” he asked, grinning sharply, while the announcer spoke about wondering what the human would do next. Zim was also wondering that a moment before Dib started climbing down, carefully testing to make sure that he could come back up. 

“You  _ do _ realize the Mighty  _ Zim _ ! already has weapons, right?” Zim pointed out, crouching down and just watching Dib for a bit. “And I am quite aware that you can make a weapon out of  _ anything _ . ...It’s rather admirable, in a primitive way…” Really, it was, and Zim could see at least five things that Dib could use with  _ lethal _ effect within two feet of them, if Dib were so inclined. And that wasn’t counting the  _ actual weapons _ he was going for.

“Yeah, but those are yours, I want some that are  _ mine _ ,” Dib answered. “And we have plenty of time, I’m sure.” He climbed all the way down, sifting through the little cache and collecting it all. Zim watched, and then frowned when, at the top, Dib started  _ dismantling _ and  _ breaking _ some of the weaponry. “I don’t want them,” he explained. “But I sure as hell don’t want anyone  _ else _ to get them, either.” 

It only took a moment for Zim to work that out, and he started cackling, a good, proper cackle, though he also grabbed some of the interesting bits, a couple things he  _ knew _ Dib didn’t realize were as useful as they were. He wasn’t really shocked when Dib ended up claiming a little knife, mostly, and nothing here was really that good for range, though Dib also kept some strings and flexible metal and Zim had a bit of a horrid feeling about that. Was Dib planning to  _ make _ something?

The human scattered what he didn’t stuff in his bag as he went, tossing it across the way or otherwise hiding it. He paused to climb and, mostly, destroy things as they travelled. The announcer seemed quite happy, and Zim was very sure Dib’s popularity was growing. They were three-quarters of the way through the puzzle when it started to get dark. ‘Camping’ was not an option, and so they just kept trekking. 

“You know what I don’t get?” Dib said after a bit, as they picked their way over the walls, and Zim was grateful that Dib didn’t seem afraid of heights like so many other humans were. “Everyone  _ knows _ we’re up here, so… why are they still down there?”

“The Vort are the only ones  _ approaching _ intelligence down there,” Zim answered, shrugging and watching Dib to figure out when the human might need light. The planet’s night was fairly bright, though. “And they can’t climb. ...Or won’t. Zim has heard stories of quite experienced Vort climbers, so…”

Dib laughed quietly, looking around. “This wasn’t even’t much of a climb.” He grinned wider, and Zim felt that little spark of how Dib used to be flare up. “I do miss that we can’t play with the puzzles, I think,” he said absently. “Oh well, I guess, huh?” Dib started to blend into the dark as night really fell. 

“...There should be a puzzle right before the end. Intelligence has bought us time. We could play. Take it apart and prove we skipped them only because they were too  _ inferior _ to waste our time on!” It might be fun, and they certainly had enough time, and if they got tired of the puzzle they could always just climb over. Or booby-trap it- maybe they should do that anyway. It would certainly be  _ fun _ .

“Ooh, I like the sound of that,” Dib said. He grinned wider, and they simply continued walking. It was simple, really, and eventually, they did come to the end. The puzzle was laughable. Zim hadn’t even finished examining it before the human was walking closer to grab at one of the blocks. Zim joined him, and when they were done, Dib tucked a block under his arm and walked out, bringing it with them while Zim cackled again. 

Dib probably wouldn’t have gone for an explosion anyway- as little as the human seemed to care about the teams dying, Zim did expect it would be a bit different when it was Dib causing the death. Then again, there was every likelihood that Zim could just take care of all of that- only that wouldn’t be fair to Dib. Dib, meanwhile, was still settling his new weapons, and the block, into the maze of pockets that was his coat, and he looked quite unimpressed at the robotic interview-drone, speaking a language that Dib actually  _ didn’t _ understand.

“What is it asking me?” Dib asked Zim, before gesturing. “Go talk to Zim, not me.” He sighed quietly as he shook his head. The drone just kept jabbering, though, to Zim’s amusement. 

“It wants to know why you kept things,” Zim answered. 

“For funsies,” Dib grumbled. 

Well, that wouldn’t work. Okay, it  _ might _ , but… Zim told the drone that Dib had said he planned to create the most glorious weapons humans could make, and if it didn’t leave then the drone could be the first to experience it. The robot wasn’t  _ that _ dumb and flew off, yelping a bit, to avoid having a sudden existence failure, and Zim grinned as it left. Dib gave him a suspicious look, and Zim just shrugged, looking as innocent as a smeet- not that Dib bought it.

“Menace,” Dib grumbled, for a moment reaching out and pushing Zim. It was  _ nice _ , and  _ good _ in so many ways. It felt almost like friends. That idea came and Zim frowned a bit. He didn’t need friends! Still, Dib simply sighed at him, and then the human settled down as the announcers spoke, commenting on more interviews, later. 

“Zim should get the Diblet a translator…” Zim mused. Of course, Dib allowing that was another story, though… given how he’d already eaten what Zim picked out, not even  _ trying _ to complain about the pak-cables- even if they were saving his life, Zim had expected pro forma complaints! So, hey, why not allow a little bit of brain surgery? And in that case, really, why stop there?

Dib narrowed his eyes, but said nothing, simply waving a hand and settling down nearby. Zim followed, making sure to watch out for more of the drones. But it was uneventful, even when they made it to a new hotel. This one was similar to the other, their bags already sitting inside when they entered. “Go ahead and shower first,” Dib said absently. 

That was… welcome, honestly, but Zim thought that Dib misunderstood the initial point. “Dib recognizes what soaps you can use now, yes? So Dib could go first. Dib-stink is probably tired, anyway…” Zim, of course… well, he  _ did _ want to sleep. But he didn’t have to sleep as much, which was good, because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if Dib was awake when he wasn’t. ...Well, obviously, he’d sleep, but… Ugh. It was late even for him.

“I figured you would, like, claim first shower,” Dib said with a shrug. He looked at Zim, went to his bag. “And you’re tired to. But I guess if you want me to go first, I don’t care.” Zim wondered if the look on the human’s face was gratitude or suspicion, or both. But he simply gathered clothing from his bag and went to shower. 

It was, really, fairly likely that even the slowest group would be out of the labyrinth by tomorrow night. The couple  _ really _ stupid teams had died from cyanined. So, they should go explore tomorrow, Zim thought- and not worry about  _ why _ he preferred Dib bright and excited and not… grey. Why didn’t matter, it was enough to know he  _ did _ . Just like he could admit he was actually a little disappointed Dib hadn’t seriously entertained the concept of joining the Armada. Magenta would look good on the human!

Dib came out clean and dressed, which Zim also wasn’t sure what he thought about. Why did it matter? He wasn’t even sure and that was… that was concerning. But Zim didn’t let him think too much about it until he was in the bathroom with his own fresh clothing, neatly folded as he clicked and frowned and looked at himself. 

He was… much the same as he always was, really- and not even dirty like he had been after the first planet, not  _ really _ . He  _ had _ gained some height, enough to keep his disguise as a now-adult human, but Zim hadn’t actually  _ thought _ about it until now, since he was  _ still _ the shortest thing on the planet, worm-babies aside. The Tallest may not have noticed, or simply decided not to comment. And all of that  _ really _ was just… distraction, Zim knew. Distraction from  _ why _ .

Thoughts continued to plague and poke Zim as he cleaned himself and left the room. Once again, Dib was just… at the window, watching the world below. It was a floor-to-ceiling window, and the human sat with his legs crossed- a ridiculous pose- bent forward and just… there. The lights were dark, too, with just what was from the bathroom illuminating the space. 

Zim stepped forward, until he was much too close to Dib, but it wasn’t really like it mattered. “We can spend all day tomorrow, out and looking. New flavors. New sights. Or… we stay here. Rest. This will likely be a short stop, but… Zim and Dib are unstoppable.”

Dib looked up, then back to the city. “Sure,” he said. “I’m fine with that. Are there places that aren’t food? Like… anything?” he asked. He was curious, but  _ carefully _ so. And apparently, he was just going to trust this. “Unstoppable until we get this thing over with, right?” he asked as well. 

“Zim is  _ not _ going to- to  _ impale _ you the moment we win,” Zim huffed, waving his hand. It wasn’t even like this was the first time they’d worked together.  _ Or _ saved each other, for that matter. “There are many stores. These are… mostly resort planets. That is a large part of the draw,” Zim added, aware that Dib would probably prefer something more like a ‘museum’. “...There may be a zoo?”

“Oh joy, thanks  _ Vlad _ . What are you going to jettison me from the air lock somewhere instead?” Dib asked with a soft snort. He looked to Zim again. “A zoo may be fun. I mean, I’ll probably enjoy whatever. We probably should make sure that we have enough time to prepare for whatever’s next, right?” 

“Airlocks are the Tallests’ thing. And you mean Tepes. Vlad was just his name,” Zim countered- and yes, maybe he knew what he was talking about, what of it? “Is that why Dib does not think about after? Zoo in the morning, come back early for dinner and preparing. Yes, Dib’s idea is not terrible.”

For a moment, Dib just blinked, and then he laughed. “Okay, fair,” he said. “I’m not going to ask why you know about that.” he shook his head, then asked, “What do you mean, ‘not think about after’?”

“You’re not.  _ Zim _ has given  _ all _ the ideas for after we win. Dib has not.” Only after speaking did Zim realize that… it  _ maybe _ sounded like he wanted Dib to come up with something for  _ both _ of them. But… Dib would know better. Surely. He  _ understood _ Zim.

“You’re going to continue your invasion, and I’m going to go back to school,” Dib answered. “What more is there to say, Zim? Or maybe they’ll give you a better mission, so you’ll do that, or whatever, right? What’s the problem here?” 

“We graduated. Zim remembers  _ that _ . It was very boring,” Zim pointed out. And… yes, he’d lost track of Dib after that. And a few times during that- the human was his  _ enemy _ , not exactly someone he did more than try to avoid. Kill. “Zim’s mission is incomplete. I won’t be given a better one until I finish my current mission. More school?”

“College classes, remember?” Dib pointed out, shaking his head. “If I haven’t been kicked out yet or whatever.” He frowned, then added, “I don’t get why you care, anyway. It makes no sense. And I literally just don’t care what you do to Earth anymore. Like I said  _ before _ , I don’t care.” 

“You were serious about that?” In this case Zim meant college classes, really, but he was…  _ Not _ concerned about the lack of care. Not that, precisely. “...Dib means the cities. You’ve already said you care about the wild places,” Zim added, trying not to frown where Dib might see, and trying to work out… what the human meant. And wondering if it mattered.

Dib turned and didn’t even look at him. “Go to sleep, you’re tired and making less sense than usual,” he said. Zim pulled back, surprised by the bite to the words. How dare the human order Zim around, either! 

“Zim makes  _ perfect _ sense!” the Irken defended. “And needs no sleep! Dib requires sleep!  _ You _ are the senseless one!” He dropped the fluffy robe, really not caring if Dib was looking at him or not- Dib  _ should _ look, should want,  _ see him _ . But Zim knew he wasn’t, even when gifted with the sight of Zim’s naked flesh, which he had never seen. Well, never seen willingly, fights counted but not like this.

The human started to scoff, only to turn and gape. “Zim, what the hell!” he yelped, pushing himself away and standing. “What’s wrong with you?” he demanded, turning away to not look at Zim. “Seriously! Did you hit your head at some point?” Even in the dimmer light Zim could see that Dib was red, too, blushing. 

“Well,  _ you’ve _ hit my head. Many times,” Zim answered, and at least Dib was…  _ mostly _ acting like usual again. Zim was pretty sure that Dib should be staring, but it  _ was _ a human politeness thing  _ not _ to stare, so that was okay. “And you said go to bed. Is Zim supposed to sleep in a robe?” Despite his words, the Irken made no move towards the bed.

“Okay, but getting naked right next to me in an argument- what the hell?” Dib managed to stand, turning to face the wall. “Go to sleep, then, or whatever!” he said. “I don’t get you at all, Zim.” 

“It’s  _ just skin _ , Dib!” Zim answered, throwing his hands up. “Zim was simply  _ allowing _ Dib-beast the luxury of command. And don’t act as though Zim is  _ utterly _ unaware of what goes on in… locker-rooms…” He couldn’t help but whisper that name, still deeply uncomfortable about the place, with so much  _ water _ and…  _ ugh _ .

The  _ sound _ Dib made alone was utterly worth this. “You’re not the only one who  _ avoided _ locker rooms for  _ many _ reasons,” he said. He half turned, seemed to realize that Zim was still naked, and then went back to staring at the wall. “It’s not just- I know you think we’re all savages and whatever, but I’m not going to just stare at you or anything! For fucks sakes, Zim. You know how humans are, this isn’t new.” 

“Yes, Zim noticed you weren’t there usually. I also know you must  _ want _ to, Dib-thing. If anything, this ‘modesty’ is more savage than just…” Zim bit back a screech and climbed into bed, pulling the covers up enough to satisfy ‘modesty’. “There! Why are you acting as though you were not practically raised with Tak and I as companions?”

Dib rubbed his face, turning and looking at Zim again. “What are you  _ talking _ about?” he asked. “We weren’t companions, Zim. I didn’t care about you being naked or anything, I was more worried about a million other things, and neither of you ever just stood naked in front of me, either.” He was still blushing and flinched at the comment about  _ wanting _ to look at Zim. “I- never mind. Bed. Right.” 

“You watched us. With your screens,” Zim pointed out, trying to figure out just  _ why _ Dib was being so… “Wait, she hasn’t? Huh. You seemed… friends.” Ugh, maybe he  _ was _ tired- tired of Dib not being  _ normal _ , for sure. “You also had no  _ human _ friends.  _ Or _ companions. ...I am not sure your sister counts…” Zim paled a bit at the thought of  _ her _ , but shook the thought away.

“No, Zim, she hasn’t,” Dib snapped, before getting into bed next to him, still turned away from bed. “Thanks for the reminder, Zim. I’m well aware of my social life,” he added, barely grunting and settling in.

He hadn’t meant it like  _ that _ . And he also really hadn’t thought this through very well… The answer was  _ really _ obvious, but Zim  _ was _ aware, now, that Dib… might not react quite how he’d be expected. And it was getting late… “Social lives are unneeded,” Zim muttered, trying not to let Dib win, as he turned away from Dib. Watching was rude too, right?

  
Dib didn’t answer. Zim was sure he wasn’t sleeping, not for way too long. Eventually he seemed to sleep, though, and Zim was glad for that. They both pretended nothing happened the following morning, and the zoo  _ was _ enjoyable, and so was the food they picked. The afternoon, too, was good. It was easier to think about things later. They were right- everyone was through by then. 


	3. Whoooohooo, airboat!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we start hitting major plot points.

Dib was torn, really, once again in a transport, watching Zim and trying  _ not _ to think about what the menace had been doing when they first got here. On the one hand, he really  _ was _ enjoying this ‘race’- and the tours in between. It was a dream come true, in more ways than one. But on the other hand… it wasn’t like it mattered. Nothing really  _ mattered _ . Not even Zim’s utterly bizarre behavior, out there even for him!

Zim was talking with the Tallest right now, over vid-screen, and apparently they had actually decided to help out, or something. They promised they had got extra rations, but Dib wasn’t sure how much  _ Earth MREs _ counted as ‘food’ for Zim. Still, it was… something? Maybe? And Purple was cooing over Dib again. Zim was trying to get Dib to come over, which… probably made sense. His Tallest wished it, or something.

The human grudgingly walked over, though he wasn’t at all sure  _ why _ they wanted him.”What?” he asked Zim. 

“My Tallests wish to actually meet you,” Zim said. Dib looked at the two aliens, and part of him was excited! These were leaders of the entire Irken empire! As much as he perked, he reminded himself to play it safe. 

“ _ Zim _ will translate!” Zim added- which was nice, but Dib worried a little about it causing problems later on. Or maybe they’d buy he just… learned Irken really fast?

**“Hi there, Big-Head Dib!”** Purple said, waving and- oh, god, he was doing that ‘talk slowly’ thing. Dib really had no idea how to respond to  _ that _ .

**“Hey, good thing we actually bet** **_for_ ** **you after Shin-19, huh? Never thought you’d get past the cyanide. Even if the method was… unorthodox…”** Red added, looking at Zim as he said the last part, but apparently not actually upset. And beside him, Zim was pretending to translate, and not doing the best job.

After a moment, Dib just waved a hand. “Uh, hi,” he said. “Um…” he looked at Zim, then asked, “What do I  _ say _ ?” But Zim was no help, and so the human floundered. “Thanks, I think? And for… hosting?” 

Red shrugged, glancing at Purple, who- well, it would have been a thumbs up, probably, but he didn’t have a thumb.  **“You’re making us monies, human- monkey? And working with Zim, which, well, never thought we’d see** **_that_ ** **day…”**

“ **Dib is a good enemy!** ” Zim commented after that one, seeming much too pleased by it. By all of this, really, and again Dib wondered just what the menace was thinking.

“I’m not a monkey,” Dib said, frowning. “And Zim isn’t  _ that _ difficult to work with,” he added under his breath, before, louder, “And I’m glad I’m alive too, I guess. We’ll see by the end of this, right?” It was meant as a joke, but Zim didn’t seem too pleased by it. 

**“That’s the spirit! And hey, we got you food! So now you** **_have_ ** **to win!”** Purple said, with a bright smile and- That was it, Dib realized. They were actually being  _ friendly _ this time, not simply acting. It was still a lot  _ of _ acting, but there was more to it.

**“Whoop, you’re almost there, we gotta go. Try to stay dry, bye byeee!”** Red finished, waving again and barely noticing Zim spinning to salute as the screen went dead.

This time they landed on a massive junk pile, full of broken… boats? And other machinery.  **"** **_Teams! You must figure out a way to find and make it to the location out at sea. Be cunning and careful about the dangers that lurk in these watery depths…_ ** **"** Dib slowly looked around, nodding. He looked at Zim, then moved further away. 

"Build a boat that works, huh? That isn't  _ too _ horrible…" he said. 

"Something light," Zim agreed, looking at the water, and then watching the Meekrob team test it. From what Dib could see, most of the water was pretty shallow, which meant… Dib grinned. There was a  _ lot _ of junk around, and he had the best idea.

“Hey, see if you can find something with a flat bottom,” Dib said, already looking for a nice big fan. There were ships and plane parts around, too, along with- “Ahah!” He quickly moved to where a massive exhaust fan was sticking out of the ground and piles of junk. “Here, Zim,” he said. “If we find something with a flat bottom, we can make an  _ airboat _ .” 

From the way Zim frowned, that wasn’t a word he was familiar with. He didn’t… ask, though, just digging through the stuff with his pak-legs. He did chitter angrily at one of the other teams, getting too close, but there were no words in that. Dib found himself smiling a little as they scattered, and he  _ hadn’t _ , Dib  _ remembered _ that, but… it didn’t matter. He needed to find an engine, and he was pretty sure he should stay near the fan, too.

The engine he did find came from an old looking spaceship. “Do you think we can hook these two together?” he asked Zim, pointing to the fan and engine. The Irken had found a flatter tow-barge type boat- or maybe it was a piece of one. 

“Zim… supposes,” Zim said. He chittered again. “What is Diblet  _ thinking _ ?” he asked. 

“Well,” Dib said. “If we attach the engine to run this fan and put it on the back of that- we’ll have an airboat, as long as we can fuel it. They’re used in swamps, mostly.” 

Zim looked between the fan, boat, and engine, and then the remaining teams- one was out in the water already, with something not much more advanced than a canoe. “Will this ‘airboat’ fly?” Zim asked, digging around and finding just long bands of metal- struts, Dib supposed, because those were pretty much the same everywhere. “Can you lay out? Zim will search for fuel!”

“Yep,” Dib said, removing his trenchcoat and backpack and setting them aside. The main structures would be easy, especially with the abundance of bolts and useful items around. Before Zim even came back, dragging fuel… rods? That’s that they looked like, anyway- Dib was putting the frame together on the back of the boat, bolting it in place. Zim looked skeptical, and Dib grinned. “I’ll need your help to get the fan in.” At least it weighed less than most airboat fans, and was a bit smaller… 

“Of course, of course. Will anything need welded? And Zim will solder the wires,” Zim agreed, waving a hand a bit like it was no big deal. But he was also actually helping, even though most of the other teams had taken to the water. The only one that hadn’t by now seemed to be trying to build an armored ship- Vortians, Dib remembered. That probably made sense then. And then Zim hefted the  _ entire _ fan and just… held the frame where it should go, like it was nothing. “Is the placement correct?”

Dib nodded. “Yeah, looks good,” he said, immediately adding a set of bolts that would hold it all together until they could solder it all. “You wanna solder the struts? I’ll start the connective work and building in a way to steer.” This wasn’t even taking that long. Dib was sure they’d not only catch up to the other teams, but get ahead quickly. 

From the way Zim blinked, Dib suspected that he’d forgotten steering- and from what he knew of the Massive’s flight path, that  _ might _ just be an Irken thing. Still, Zim started soldering without complaint, and again, it was…  _ nice _ , working with him. Dib had to admit to that. Then the menace opened his mouth. “It is… interesting, experiencing Dib’s will again,” Zim commented, as off-hand as he possibly could.

“What do you mean?” Dib asked, moving to lay in the boat and attaching the first of two old chairs into place. “You mean me being bossy? I’m not trying to be.” He shifted, glancing out at Zim, then went back to work. 

“Dib-thing is not bossy. Dib-thing is  _ creating _ . Does it not feel good? And Zim concedes that you have decent instincts. Sometimes. So, for this, Zim follows.” And that made…  _ no _ sense at all, bringing back to mind Dib’s concerns about Zim getting even weirder, and that was  _ without _ dropping his robe and nope, not thinking about that. Get the chairs in place.

Dib went quiet, trying to figure out what to say. “I guess,” he said. “I didn’t think about it.” And that was true, but he couldn’t deny how good this was, to just jump into a task and work on a project, and- he forced himself to just keep working, to ignore the intrusive thoughts that reminded him of just how meaningless this was. 

“What else will be required to finish this transport?” Zim asked, and it was kind of pathetic how welcome his voice was. “Movement, power, pilots, hull… Cargo?” It was such an  _ Irken _ way to categorize things, but it… wasn’t wrong, Dib had to agree.

“We’re pretty much done, I think. We need a counterbalance for when we are on the water, and cargo- I mean, we might want some supplies, maybe extra fuel…” Dib looked around, then shrugged. Most of the land area was covered in junk. The Vortians were still working, obviously not used to the ‘primitive’ technology around. They looked like they were about to try leaving anyway. There wasn’t much food to gather, it seemed. “Extra fuel, I think,” he said again. “Looks like the rations and water are the only real food we have, huh?” 

“Most likely. There are things in the water, as well,” Zim added. “However, it is probably wiser to stay with rations. This ship is fast, yes? That is why the Dib-thing was willing to spend so much time in building it?” For all they were sharp, the questions weren’t quite  _ insulting _ , and Dib didn’t waste time on musing over how easily he understood that. He was still surprised that Zim had trusted him to this extent, to be honest, and… well, it felt… good, to feel like he was contributing to this ‘certain win’.

Dib nodded. “Yeah, it’s super fast, but if we  _ did _ have an issue on the water, we’d want something just in case, right?” He looked around, then tossed a few almost-oar shaped metal bits into the boat, as well as a few other odds and ends, which would work for counterweights. He  _ was _ a little nervous, but there really wasn’t much else to do but get their boat into the water. “Oh, and we need to name it,” he said to Zim, collecting his bag and coat. The coat he tossed in, onto a chair. From the bag, he took out one of their rather-precious water bottles. 

Zim stared at him, lizard-eyes utterly fixed in what Dib _ knew _ was confusion. His pak was blinking, too, trying to make sense of things. Finally, the Irken just shrugged and motioned at the boat. “Okay. You created it, Dib names it,” Zim agreed, as though he were so helpful all the time. He also offered no suggestions on names- but Dib hadn’t expected any. Zim wouldn’t understand the importance of a proper christening, and… well. Any name he’d suggest would probably include ‘doom’.

After a moment. Dib shrugged back and yanked out a sharpie as well- he knew it would come in handy! Bending, he wrote on the side of the boat, ‘ _ Doom Sailfish _ ’ before spritzing it with a little water and putting everything back away. “Sailfish are the fastest sea animal on earth,” he said. “And you do love doom.” 

“Yes. Zim  _ does _ love doom,” Zim agreed, settling along one side and helping Dib. He seemed to  _ want _ to ask about the whole thing just past, but Dib could almost see him instead classify it as earth nonsense, before tugging things on. “You got the camera’s attention. Is Dib going to wave for them?”

Dib made a sound, but then turned, waving a moment, and then gesturing for Zim to help him push the boat. He wasn’t keen on this being on camera, but… well. They didn’t have much choice. As they got it in, he looked at Zim. “Go ahead, I know how you are with getting wet,” he teased, grinning. Zim scoffed, but got in, leaving Dib to push the last bit and climb in. Nothing sank immediately, so that was good! “Ready?” he asked Zim. 

“You talk too much!” Zim answered- he was also grinning, lekku down, and Dib was pretty sure that all meant something like nervous excitement. That was about how Dib felt, as well. The engine was actually  _ really _ similar to Tak’s ship, and Dib didn’t let himself feel the pang of missing that dumb thing. It was easy to forget, anyway, as the engine engaged and the fan started to turn, slowly at first and then faster, faster.

Before long, they were hitting top speed and Zim was clutching his chair. Dib was being careful not to completely red-line the engine, and laughed when the Irken looked at him, the cameras unable to keep up with their speed. Every so often they even hit a wave or swell, launching into the air with enough force to lift from their seats. Each time, Dib laughed again, feeling the same joy he felt when piloting a ship or driving way too fast. 

“Whoo!  _ Airboat _ !” Dib let himself scream, while Zim’s scream was wordless. God, this felt  _ good _ , just speeding along, turning now and then as needed, not worrying…

“This is not how Zim dies!” Zim screamed from beside him when Dib had to make an especially sudden turn. The honest fear in the Irken’s voice was enough for Dib to slow down a bit, at least enough for the grey to recede from Zim’s skin.  _ Maybe _ he had been being a  _ little _ mean.

The slower speed meant that the engine could cool, anyway. Dib shifted, and on impulse, he pat Zim’s arm. “You’re fine, Zim,” he said. He smiled a little, and didn’t even consider that he might be pushing boundaries as he looked at Zim. “Really, see? I slowed down. Left the cameras far behind, though.” 

Zim looked up at Dib, eyes a bit drier than usual, until he blinked and managed a deeper breath. “Dib… cannot see dangers as well,” Zim pointed out, which took a moment to work out. It was obvious once Dib  _ did _ \- Zim could see under the water better, and so would likely have started turning earlier in most cases. “...No cameras?” Zim shifted, nervous about the water most likely, and looked around, relaxing a bit more as he realized they really had left the cameras behind.

“No cameras,” Dib said, grinning. “I think we’re ahead now, anyway, so we can slow down for a while.” He raised a hand to pat Zim again, only to realize what dumb thing he was doing. He was already having a hard time with the little menace acting so weird… Setting his hand back down, he shrugged. 

“If Zim minded Dib-thing’s touch, I would  _ say _ so. I _ know _ you have noticed Irken are not shy in proclaiming dislike,” Zim answered, barely looking at Dib. “...Does Diblet agree that we are both ‘rested’?” Zim added a moment later.

Scoffing quietly, Dib glanced at Zim, but then looked back out, at the ocean that stretched for miles in every way, but with no cameras around. “What does that have to do with anything?” he asked. 

Zim was quiet for a while, and if Dib didn’t know better he’d assume the Irken was choosing his words. “Name… one thing Diblet wills? Desires? Small or large. ...Zim will go first. After winning, Zim… Wants to make waffles with Gir.”

For a moment, Dib just sat there. The question made no sense. “What I… will?” he asked back. “Want? I don’t know.” Zim wanted to make waffles with Gir? That was almost normal, and it  _ was _ cute in some weird way. When Zim frowned, looking unhappy, Dib shrugged. “I want to get another tattoo,” he said, eventually. 

That seemed to suffice, and Zim nodded, breaking into a smile. “Good. More ink-marks! And Dib-thing will take this desire and act! Yes?” That was… of course? Dib nodded slowly, wondering if Zim had finally lost what was left of his mind.

“Does Diblet know… Zim was exiled once? It was  _ horrible _ . Cast away and made to serve food! To other races! But how, Dib, did I then become the magnificent Invader you know?” It took much too long for Dib to realize that  _ wasn’t _ a rhetorical question.

“I wondered,” Dib said. He frowned, looking over at Zim again. “I don’t know what you want to hear, Zim. You’re you. That’s what you seem to do.” He turned back to the open sea again, frowning at himself. “What are you getting at?” 

Zim made a sound of  _ pure _ impatience, before taking another blinking breath and  _ trying to calm down _ . What the hell? “Yes. Zim is Zim. Zim is Zim  _ because _ my wish becomes will and action!” There was another pause, and Dib realized that the not-quite-so-little Irken’s lekku were lashing a bit. “Does Dib-thing understand that concept? Yes?”

Dib glanced at him again. “Okay, yeah?” he said, frowning. “You wanted to invade, so you are invading.” He snorted. “Okay. That’s… I mean. That sounds like you. What’d you do, Zim, just tell the Tallest that you refused to be exiled? Force them to give you a mission?” 

“Yes. Precisely,” Zim agreed, nodding. “Zim willed, and so it was.” He seemed… pleased that Dib had followed along, but Dib really couldn’t imagine  _ why _ . Or maybe he could- this seemed to be another ‘stroke Zim’s ego’ thing. “And what,  _ Diblet _ , did Zim find on my mission?”

“You mean besides acid rain and dumb apes?” Dib asked sarcastically. “You found Earth. So what?” He snorted and looked at Zim again, slowing the boat down even more. “So, you forced them to give you a shit mission, and you’ve decided that you’re going to succeed, so you will, right? Is that what you’re getting at?”

“No! Yes. Arg!” Zim screeched, before taking another pause. And again, Dib had the uncanny feeling that Zim actually  _ was _ thinking about what he was saying- most of it, at least. “...How did Dib stop Zim?” For once, the weird habit of using names instead of pronouns was… nice, maybe, even, because it didn’t feel so accusatory, somehow.

Dib frowned again. “Dumb luck, and a lot of your plans were not the greatest,” he answered. He snorted, then gave a laugh. “Is that what you want to hear?” He had been in  _ such _ a good mood, too. Now it was gone. 

There was another annoyed sound- apparently that  _ hadn’t _ been what Zim wanted to hear. “Yes, the Dib-baby had his share of ‘luck’. So did Zim. ‘Luck’ is just… will. And Dib-thing’s  _ will _ rivaled that of Zim Himself!” Wait, was that…  _ praise _ ? “You were determined to stop Zim, yes?”

“Thanks, I think?” Dib said, before pausing and blinking at Zim. “Yeah? I mean, sure. I was certain I could stop you, catch you, reveal that aliens existed, and all of that.” Did Zim just want to gloat about it? Dib’s disillusionment had taken years to become fully cultivated, sure, but… he sighed, glancing at Zim again. 

“Yes! Precisely! ...You came quite close,” Zim added, almost off-hand. “Were my will lesser, Dib would be victorious. And were Dib’s will lesser,  _ Zim _ would win! ...Yet we were matched.” The last was said in a strange tone, with a little buzz or click near the end. What was  _ wrong _ with Zim?

“...Okay?” Dib asked, blinking. “What…” he paused again. “You’re going to call me dumb, Zim, but I really just don’t understand. You think we were matched in, what, stubbornness and that was why we were at a stalemate all those years?” He looked at Zim once more, speeding up the boat. “So, what? I mean, I’m not stopping you anymore. Have at.” 

“Yes! An-” Zim huffed at the rest of Dib’s statement, shaking his head. “Yes, Zim  _ knows _ you are not stopping anymore. You have made that clear. But… your will? Your will allowed a  _ smeet _ to best a  _ trained Invader _ ! Many times! Your will  _ made _ us enemies! ...Zim thinks your will even brought you here, but… I am not certain of that…” Zim frowned, then shrugged. “...Where is it?”

For a long moment, Dib was silent, just trying to figure out what the hell Zim was going on about. “What brought me here was being kidnapped, Zim. I didn’t ‘will’ myself out into space,” he said. “And I sure as shit don’t understand what you’re talking about. Are you asking where my ‘will’ is? I don’t get it. Aren’t you glad I’m not trying to fight you?” 

Zim paused a moment, then shrugged and waved his hand. “Then maybe it was Zim’s will. No matter. And… Yes. ...What vanished may return, no? Though, Zim has not…” He frowned, trailing into mumbles that Dib couldn’t actually hear, bits and pieces of Irken that really had no translation. “...Or Dib willed it without knowing,” he added suddenly, louder. “It can be tricky like that. So. Where  _ is _ Dib’s will? Tattoos?”

“It’s not coming back,” Dib answered, though he was very confused, still. “Is my- no? I mean, I’m not planning on getting tattoos nonstop? I’m… I don’t know? Zim, why are you pushing this? What’s the point?” He felt his stomach squeeze with the realization that, Zim, the green menace, had asked more about his desires than anyone in his- well. He didn’t have a family any longer, and Zim had already reminded him of his lack of friends. “Is this because I won’t commit to dealing with alien tourists? Why do you _ care _ , Zim?” 

“You are my enemy,” Zim said, as though that answered anything, as though the words made  _ any sense what so ever _ , as though the real question was why  _ wouldn’t _ he care.

Dib scoffed again. “I already told you I’m not going to try and stop you?” he pointed out. There was a swell of disappointment, so strong that he sped the boat up on impulse, keeping his eyes glued ahead of them. “Enemies don’t care what each other is doing,” he said. “And they don’t get naked in front of each other, either.”

“They don’t? Um.” It was a moment of unguarded surprise, and some more clicking. “Okay then, how would  _ Dib _ translate  **_‘enemy’_ ** ?” And that… maybe clarified some things?

“Enemies- they would fight to win at any cost, and there’s hate. Enemies despise each other, they fight constantly, try to tear the other down, entirely. Mm. At least, true enemies.” Dib frowned. “I would even say before we were enemies, but… not really? Like. There are nuances, obviously, truces, but no matter what I never  _ hated _ you. I was too curious for that.” Dib paused, then frowned. “What… are you thinking?” 

“Mm… that’s not quite right, then. Dib was never worthy of hate. …And then… certainly not of  _ hate _ …” Zim paused, lekku moving a bit, before shrugging. “...We were matched. And Dib still has will- We are on it, currently.” He chuckled, and it was… it was  _ nice _ , hearing the praise. “...Zim… thinks it was not  _ terrible _ , matching. … Fitting.”

Again, Dib was silent, just watching the sea and lost in his thoughts. “Okay?” he said. Zim didn’t answer him, and for a long moment, again, Dib lost himself. “...Are you trying to say that you want to be  _ friends _ , Zim?” he asked, suddenly. 

“Aren’t we?” Zim answered, before repeating the words in Irken and- Dib had never realized how similar they actually sounded. And he was pretty sure that Zim… actually some how thought they were the same. Or something like that. Though that wasn’t quite the word Tak used when talking about Dib, so… that probably explained things.

Dib realized in that moment that, yes, his only friend was an Irken invader. An alien. “Yeah,” he found himself saying. “Is this why you wouldn’t commit to stabbing me the moment this is over?” he added curiously. “Or what? You’ve been acting so…  _ weird _ .” 

“Zim committed! To  _ not _ stabbing the Dib-beast,” Zim answered, as though that- well, no, that actually  _ did _ sort of make a difference. “And  _ you _ are the one acting weird. We are exploring ‘alien’ planets! And Dib’s big head has not exploded?”

“I’m not acting weird. I haven’t been that energetic for a long time, Zim. I know better, now.” Hide excitement, don’t show it. Be safe, don’t be a target. Don’t trust- except, he did trust Zim, really. Zim wouldn’t- the memories of being pinned and- Dib shook his head before he could sink into those. He refused! Gritting his teeth, he glanced at Zim, but the Irken was clutching his seat again and hadn’t noticed. 

“...Will does not…  _ require _ energetic. Ener _ gy _ , yes, of course. Like making waffles. Or tattoos…” Zim said after a moment, though he may have been speaking to the air in front of them for all Dib could tell. “Well. Now you know how to be deliberate,” he added, before motioning with his head. “Twenty degrees right, there’s something weird with that garbage heap, please.”

Dib slowed the boat and stopped in front of the mentioned garbage heap. He was mildly amused by Zim’s request, but mostly, he had his own curiosity. “What do you see?” he asked. 

“Not sure,” Zim answered, pak-legs out and poking at it. He finally came up with a few bits of- maybe metal and circuitry? They were placed in his pak for later, and then a bit more digging, which brought up- “Oh. I guess someone was in this cruiser when it crashed. ...Think it was a cruiser,” he mused, waving around some bones.

“Damn, poor fellow,” Dib commented. He scoffed a moment later. “Hey, Zim, show some respect for the dead thing, would you? Don’t want to get cursed or anything, you know.” He was half teasing, but also in general pretty sure that respecting the dead was common for most species.

“Nothing remains, though?” Zim pointed out, looking at the bones. “...But… Diblet  _ is _ the one who knows ghosts…” After a moment more of thought, he slipped the remains back into their grave, patting it closed again and chirping something that  _ might _ be some kind of prayer. That wasn’t the right word, because of course Irkens didn’t really have religion, as far as Dib knew, but… it was something.

“Thanks,” he said. He moved their boat from the wreck, and there was quiet for a long moment, as they sped off, though Dib was careful and interested. He smiled a little, then glanced over at Zim. Things were making a  _ lot _ more sense with the Irken. “Hey, Zim?” he asked, after a long moment. “Do Irken friends really just get naked in front of each other? Really?”

“Yes? Has Tak- Zim already asked. She must consider your friendship more human,” Zim answered, so utterly casual and distracted that Dib  _ actually believed _ him. “Zim has said- it is just skin. Even if Dib-thing’s is that strange color.”

Dib actually laughed. “I guess so,” he said. Tak was the closest thing he had to a friend other than Zim, apparently, that much was true. “But no, she’s never gotten naked around me, especially not like that.” But she  _ had _ seen Dib naked, and he did trust her, which was really weird to realize. 

“Mm. Well, it’s also not precisely something gone out of the way for,” Zim agreed. Dib was more busy realizing that this meant he had… well, not twice as many friends as he’d thought, since he’d had zero, and it wasn’t possible to multiply by that. “Dib could ask her.”

“I’m not going to ask her that,” Dib grumbled. He looked back at Zim again. “I mean, really, Zim. You think that would go over well?” Not that Zim knew the details, but ‘ _ I know I lived in your base for months, why didn’t you get naked? _ ’ did not hold merit! After a moment more, he picked up speed again a bit. 

“Depending on what Dib is asking for, and how, yes. Absolutely,” Zim answered. “Or you could simply inform her that  _ Zim _ has educated the Diblet about proper Irken friendships.” He nodded firmly, definitely a gesture he’d picked up on Earth, before frowning. “...Maybe…  _ not _ mention Zim. She continues to withstand Zim’s wiles.”

“No shit,” Dib said with a laugh. He felt… better? A lot better, actually. He Having friends, even if they were aliens- especially since they were aliens- oh the fucking  _ irony _ with that! It was starting to get darker again, and he glanced at Zim. “Hey. Do you want to grab the flashlight? Or should we slow down and stop when it gets any darker?”

“Mm… Zim does not see the goal. Or cameras. And Dib-stink requires  _ so much _ sleep. We will find a pile, and  _ Zim _ shall keep watch with my  _ superior _ seeing skills!” Zim paused, then added, “Dib… may make breakfast while Zim rests a little after, before it is bright enough to go.” And yes, by now they had slept near each other many times, but… it was still odd, and the idea of watches made it odder.

“I can stay up,” Dib said. “It’s not sleep that I’m worried about, it’s making sure we don’t run into anything.” He rolled his eyes at Zim, but while grinning a bit. “I’m willing to just keep travelling and taking turns tonight if you want,” he added. “You wanna drive?”

“Yeesss! Let  _ Zim _ !” Zim agreed, making grabby hands and generally behaving much like he used to. “We shall likely end this tomorrow, at this speed. Yes… Can you fake being bad at Irken? It would endear the Dib-thing more.”

Dib chuckled, standing and stretching. “Have at,” he said. “And I thought I was already bad at Irken, no faking needed. I mean, Tak makes fun of me all the time.” He spoke a little bit while settling back down and watching Zim. Maybe they could nap a little, too, off and on. 

“Eh… talk to Zim. I will decide. It’s clear you understand more than speak, anyway.” Zim shrugged, and after a bit Dib started doing as told, doing his best to just… talk. About random things. He  _ did _ fall into a light nap after a while, and woke again to the ship moving through the dark. Zim hadn’t bothered to use any lights, and the whole thing was so very surreal.

The stars were bright, and there was a fair amount of light, still. Dib took a turn driving again while Zim rested, his coat making a decent blanket. At some point, a few cameras got close, and he nudged Zim. “I think we’re getting close,” he said softly. 

Zim’s first action was to wrap around Dib with a soft click. He woke up more fully a moment after that, looking around suspiciously. “Ah. Yes, the Dib-sight is accurate enough. And Dib may attempt speaking, if you wish. It is almost passible.”

“ _ Hi _ ,” Dib said to the camera, waving. “Go back to sleep, Zim,” he added, teasing as the Irken snuggled in again. It was nice, actually. 

They switched places twice more through the night, but both were awake in the morning, pausing for Zib to make up a rather shitty, but passable, breakfast. There were cameras again at the end, and Dib huffed. “ _ Um. Zim- lots of work. _ ” Dib said, gesturing to the airboat. He’d let the Irken take the credit. 

Zim poked him, surprisingly hard, and frowned. “ _ All Dib-thing’s plan. Some worm-monkeys rise above the dumbness, and of course, with my Tallests’ help, Zim! has picked the best. _ ” He said a few other such things, surprisingly politic, and Dib wasn’t sure what he thought of that.

It wasn’t until they got to the newest hotel that Dib got a chance to ask, “Hey, why’d you not take the credit back there?” 

“They saw us build it, for one. And… Dib… earned it? Like Skoodge earned Blorch,” Zim answered, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “...Anyway, maybe there will be more tours for you?”

“They saw us build it, but couldn’t understand that I had the idea,” Dib pointed out. He dropped his trenchcoat onto a chair, spreading it out to dry, his backpack nearby. “More tours?” he asked a moment later, only to realize and snort. “Come on, Zim. Are you still really stuck on that?”

“It would bring monies to the Empire, and keep Earth wild. With or without cities,” Zim answered, before shrugging. “Dib  _ does _ want the wild, so… Zim is okay wanting that as well.” He didn’t seem particularly  _ enthused _ by the idea, but he was… compromising?

Dib sat down on the floor, sighing. “Great, I’ll just deal with tourists the rest of my short ass life,” he grumbled. “Your turn for first shower,” he added pointedly, while Zim blinked at him. “Unless you really want me to go first, but you know.” 

“Why take turns? We have established that nudity is inconsequential, have we not?” Zim asked, as though that was obviously- Okay, yeah, it probably was pretty obvious. They hadn’t really talked about anything, but they had kind of touched on that.

For a moment, Dib just blinked. “Are group showers normal for you guys, or something? Or what?” he asked. “And don’t even start on the locker room, either. Ugh.” 

“Eeee…” Zim waves a hand back and forth, a clear ‘so-so’ gesture. “Sometimes. Usually in barracks, yes. These bathing rooms are large enough. But if Dib-stink wishes to marinade, I will not oppose this will.” He shrugged and started for the bathroom, and Dib was… a bit startled at how easy that was.

When he came back out again, Dib was pretty close to dozing. He shifted and sighed quietly. “For the record, marinade is meant to talk about food,” he teased. 

“Dib could be dinner,” Zim pointed out- in a bathrobe. He was also grinning in a way that suggested he wasn’t  _ entirely _ teasing, which also brought to mind that Zim’s teeth really were sharp, but Dib wasn’t worried. Zim didn’t  _ eat _ meat- Earth meat, especially, didn’t agree with Irken biology. Tak had pointed that out, once, before showing that sharp teeth were actually very good at demolishing plants.

Dib blinked, opened his mouth and then closed it. “I’m just going to go shower and pretend you didn’t just offer to… bite me?” he said, waving a hand and standing. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand.”

“Lots of ways to eat…” Zim-  _ didn’t _ say, because there was  _ no way _ he would say something like that, because that sounded  _ nope _ . It was quiet, anyway, and Dib was probably just short on sleep. Zim had teased him about that.

By the time he finished, Dib realized that he had forgotten to grab fresh clothing. Resigning himself, he took a deep breath, sighing and wrapping a towel around his hips before he stepped out of the bathroom. He wasn’t even sure why he was nervous, except that the idea of Zim, what, offering to be naked, and talking about it the way he had been, it was really weird. 

Zim was still dressed, which  _ was _ in line with the whole ‘not going out of his way’ part of the conversation, lounging on the bed. “Zim has ordered food. Is… Dib… feeling better?” The words sounded as awkward as Dib would have ever expected, if he had ever had some fever dream about the Irken saying stuff like that.

“Feeling clean at least,” Dib said, going through his bag, though he paused to look at Zim. “You?” he asked. “Thanks for ordering food, too.” He was hungry, and for sure Zim would be, too. “Are you going to nap until the food gets here?” He added, questioning.

“Zim does not  _ need _ sleep,” Zim answered, as though he hadn’t fallen asleep right next to Dib  _ every night _ since they had been together. “I am clean,” he added, stretching a bit when Dib looked at him. “We are many days ahead now. It appears earth airboat technology  _ may _ , currently, be supreme. Nothing that I could not  _ improve _ , but… well. Yes.”

“I didn’t ask if you  _ needed _ to sleep, I asked if you were  _ going _ to sleep,” Dib answered, snickering. He stood up straighter, clothing in hand, and moved to head back into the bathroom to dress. 

“There is a perfectly good robe in there,” Zim called as Dib moved. It was enough to  _ almost _ make Dib miss a step. And it really wasn’t like Zim didn’t wear nothing but a robe when they were at these hotels- Dib almost got through that thought without remembering green skin.

Swallowing, Dib looked at the robe, hanging. He really hadn’t even considered it, and- he picked it up, holding it to himself, only to let out a bark of laughter. Slipping back out for a moment, he said, “I don’t think I could, ah, actually even use this.” 

Zim looked up, between the robe and Dib, before laughing as well. “Er. Okay, you  _ may _ have the least bit of a point,” he allowed. “...We may be here long enough, if you requested a… larger one. At least it doesn’t have to go over your head.”

"My head isn't even big." Dib grumbled, before shrugging. "I don't think it'd be worth it." He went back to the bathroom, dressing and returning to flop onto the second bed. It was  _ so _ comfortable, and he  _ was _ tired. And maybe Zim would be a little less weird…

"Up to Dib," Zim said, softly, before going back to whatever he was doing. Dib ended up napping, and maybe Zim did as well, until the food came. That was as good as before, and something entirely new, and Dib wondered if it was Zim's way of showing him stuff. The rest of the day was the same, just lazy relaxing with nothing to worry about.

He went to the window when Zim was busy, using it to ground himself and focus. Meditation helped keep him from sinking, and he liked doing it where he could see or be outside. Here, a window did work, and it was always interesting to see the alien cities stretched out below him. Closing his eyes, he took a deeper breath, before he let himself go a bit. 

Zim was… quieter than Dib was used to, though he didn’t think of it much. Right now the Irken was watching the other teams, likely, and Dib was actually starting to come back to himself on his own before Zim spoke. “Apparently this is a  _ hurricane _ planet. That’s it. That’s the draw. So there will be a storm while we are here. Why do people want to see that?”

“Rain is nice,” Dib answered. Indeed, it was raining as he watched and glanced at the floating screen. He thought a moment, then pat the floor next to him. “Here, join me, if you want,” he suggested. It was nice, he could hear the rain pretty well. 

The pause was just a hair too long, but then Zim was scampering over, taking the indicated spot and apparently not worried about the dirt on the floor. Well, the floor  _ did _ seem fairly clean… “What are you… doing? Quiet and watching, yes, yes, but… At first Zim thought Dib was ill. ...Or still recovering from cyanide.”

“...Meditating,” Dib answered, after a moment. “I’m just… meditating.” Hid gazed followed the movement of a drop of water down the window, then another. “It’s a way to, ah, center yourself.” He paused again, then looked at Zim, so close and watching Dib carefully. “You worried I was sick?”

“Dib did not seem to wish exploring. Dib can be quiet, of course! But… It was not normal quiet. Dib was not even insulting.” Zim gave a little shrug. “Meditating, to center…” And oh, Dib could just  _ tell _ that Zim wanted to say something, ask something, but instead the Irken just huffed. “Storm planets are dumb. Even with clean water.”

“Aw, come on, Zim. This is pretty nice, I think.” There was a boom of thunder above, loud and sharp, and Zim’s lekku popped down, flat. Dib smiled a little, then shook his head. “Relax, yeah?” he suggested. “I guess we won’t be going out while here, will we?” On the tv, the announcer was making a point that Dib and Zim had outrun all of the monsters of the planet. 

“Everything is… quite secure here…” Zim answered, despite the flat lekku. “Dib may… still explore…” The rain hit the window harder, and Zim frowned despite his best efforts. “But it will be much the same as others. Simply wetter! There is… a recreation deck! Yes- every good place has one. Maybe Dib would enjoy that more?” he added, too fast for the casual approach he was trying.

Dib cocked his head. “You can just say that you would rather I stay here and check that out with you,” he said teasingly. “We could just stay in the room for a day, anyway,” he added, glancing at the tv again, where the vort had managed to finish, but the other teams were working on getting there. Slowly. Laying back on his hands, he grinned a little at Zim. 

“Dib does not  _ care _ what Zim wants,” Zim answered, not accusatory, simply as though he were… reminding. “And Zim is not  _ afraid _ ! Fear is below an Invader!” There was the Zim that Dib remembered, spouting blatant lies and fully expecting to be believed. Was that what he called ‘will’, Dib wondered distractedly.

“I thought we were friends,” Dib answered. “So, yeah, that means there’s care for what you want, Zim.” He thought for a moment, then added, “Fear is not bad, you know. It’s what you do, even when you’re afraid, that matters.” 

“You lie!” Zim snapped, the familiar denial. “...Friends… Okay. Zim did say that…” He glanced at the window as another thunderbolt pealed, and shifted unhappily. “We do not have… rain. Storms, but… storms. Bolts of electricity are not…  _ amazing _ for us. But sky-water never…  _ concerned _ Zim until  _ your _ filthy planet. War does explain that.”

Dib snorted and then scoffed quietly. “I’m not lying, Zim,” he said. Electricity. That sent a ring of fear through him, a reminder, and he looked back to the window. “Electricity isn’t good for most species,” he said, after a moment. “Really. Fear isn’t bad. I’m afraid of things, but I don’t let that change me.” 

“What… does change Dib?” Zim asked, quietly, and this time he didn’t jump at the flash and boom. “You… did fear me. ...For about two breaths. But Zim saw it!” It was… nice, though, even with that, sitting next to Zim, Dib thought. The one who still seemed to think about  _ him _ more than anyone.

“What do you mean?” Dib asked. He considered the second statement, then laughed. “Yeah,” he said. “I was afraid of you for a bit, yeah. Then I was excited, actually. I was really dumb as a kid, you know that.” Too dumb to be afraid, and too dumb to keep his mouth shut.

“You were a  _ smeet _ . A human worm-baby without even a  _ hope _ at a pak. The surprise is that you  _ functioned _ ,” Zim answered, as though that had bearing, as though it  _ absolved _ Dib of anything. “Dib  _ has _ changed. You said fear did not do it. What did?”

Dib blinked. “I’ve not really changed,” he said. “I’m still me. I’m just an adult, now. I know to pick my battles, stuff like that.” He knew that blood meant nothing, now. Even Gaz wanted no part of him. He didn’t blame her. “You’ve changed, too. You’re calmer.” 

“...Yes.” Zim paused, then chuckled. “It seems snacks alone are insufficient nutrition. While, of course, paks will make up the difference, it… requires less energy if intake is better. And… Zim does not have as much access to Irken snacks. Earth snacks are  _ vile _ . ...Also, while Zim was  _ absolutely _ an adult, it seems… age may still play some part?” He blinked, shrugged. “...Dib’s will… still lacks. That is  _ not _ a factor of age. Zim has seen Dib’s father-unit.”

The only thing Dib gave was a non-committal sound. He definitely didn’t want to talk about his… maker. “You still seem to be a sugar fiend,” he commented. “And, well, yeah. Maybe when you take over, you should overhaul the crappy snacks.” It was a joke- Dib doubted that Zim would go through that much work.

“Yes. This is a good plan, Dib-thing,” Zim agreed, either missing the joke or just not caring. “Our energy requirements are higher than yours. Or… less storage, yes, that is the word. Mm… Less body storage. Clearly, our paks allow long term energy, but… that is less pleasant. And eating is fun, anyway.” It was a  _ lot _ of information, given with no prompting.

“You mean body fat,” Dib said. He shook his head, but then shifted and stretched his legs out so they wouldn’t fall asleep. He was content to let there be silence between them, other than the pounding rain and droning voice from the tv. 

“Dib would know that if he had looked,” Zim murmured, but it was just a verbal poke, and not  _ really _ interrupting the quiet. He did lay back, a bit, making an interesting tripod between hands and pak, and Dib found himself looking without even meaning to. Thankfully, if Zim noticed, he didn’t say anything, apparently focused on the rain as the sky darkened.

“Dib should go to sleep,” Zim said, after the sky was fully dark, and the light came only from the buildings below. “The mattress could be moved here, if you want…”

  
“I guess so. But the mattress doesn’t need moved,” Dib said. Still, he didn’t move for a while, and when he did stand, he reached down to offer Zim a hand. He didn’t think the alien would actually take it, and as expected, Zim seemed more confused than anything. And Dib  _ was _ tired. He settled into bed eventually, brain still rolling over so many things. Too many things.


	4. No hell, just Zim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I forgot how much of this chapter was 'explicit'. I've brought it down to mature to match the rest of the fic, but that leaves us with a very short chapter. So! Consider this a bonus, full chapter goes up tomorrow. If you want to skip this chapter, that's fine.

At some point in the night, a weight joined him, and Dib rolled towards it a bit in his sleep. His dreams were odd, fragmented things which shattered on waking, and Dib let himself be lazy, nuzzling into the blankets and keeping his eyes closed until the feeling of being watched dragged him up. He expected Zim to be looking towards him, from the feeling- Dib wasn’t expecting the Irken to be close enough to feel his breath.

Dib’s first instinct was to lash out, but he was just slow enough waking to keep from doing so. He blinked at Zim. “...What…?” he asked. And he knew it sounded so, so dumb. “What the hell?” he added sleepily. 

“No hell,” Zim chirped in answer. He also didn’t really pull back, which was  _ not _ helpful. “Dib was making sounds,” he added a moment later, and then he  _ did _ shift back, looking entirely too chipper.

"Snoring?" Dib asked, sitting up. "I mean, I probably was snoring, that's all." He stretched, then blinked at Zim again. "You were just watching me sleep because I was snoring?" he asked. 

“No- well, yes. But not  _ just _ snore-sounds,” Zim answered. “Like you have never watched  _ Zim _ ‘sleep’.” Did that mean it wasn’t a weird thing, to Zim?

"Not just snore sounds?" Dib asked. "And… no? I mean, not really. I watched over you, but I wasn't like this." 

“Whines and unhappy. Like with Torque.” Dib frowned at the name of one of his bullies, and that also meant rather terrible things about his dreams. “Dib clearly was wise enough to stay far enough away that  _ Zim _ would not awaken. ...Though I…  _ did _ have to re-code Dib for filtering.”

"Sorry," Dib said. He wondered if that explained the way his dreams had been so fragmented and weird. "It was just dreams." He stood, heading to the bathroom to do morning routines. When he came back, Zim was looking at him still. 

“Irken  _ do _ dream,” Zim stated suddenly. He made another ‘kinda’ motion with his hand after that, then shrugged. “Close enough. Does Dib have thoughts for the day? ...I am… content to stay in?”

"You do? What are they like? I'm good for staying in, too." Outside it was still pouring and howling, thunder booming every so often. Dib sat back on the bed, laying with his legs off the side. "We can eat, and… plan I guess? Or just chill. I'm fine with whatever. I'd like to hear about your dreams?" 

“...The purpose of dreams is much the same- going over data for better integration. Dreams themselves, therefore, are… much the same,” Zim answered, shrugging. “It is early yet for planning. Relaxing still is better.” Zim was crouched on the bed, hands on his knees and just staring at Dib. “Fine with whatever?”

Dib wondered if the question was meant to tease, or maybe if Zim would tell him to go to sleep, or clean because he was dirty and gross. "I'm fine with whatever," he confirmed. "Do  _ you _ have something you want to do, Zim? Seems like it."

Another ‘maybe’ gesture, and a shrug. “Willing as much as want. Up to Dib, really.” Zim was still looking at him, and Dib couldn’t read the look on the Irken’s face at all. “Want to try sex?”

There were a million of other things that Dib would have expected before sex. Among them were Zim wanting to fight again, or get more food- maybe even a root canal, or playing doctor, or even to go for a walk in the hurricane outside. "Excuse me?" Dib asked, blushing brilliantly, and voice high pitched. "What?" 

“Zim is pretty sure we are… ah, physically compatible. And also not biologically so. It would be fun, and pass time. And I have never had a partner with a  _ phallus _ before!” Dib wasn’t certain how much of that he actually heard, brain rather full of static at the moment.

It took way too long for him to remember how to speak. "Okay," he said, startling himself. But, really, this was- god, he had wondered about alien sex before. Had he ever imagined it would be with  _ Zim _ ? No, but… "You've never with a-" he paused, blinking and then cocking his head. "Oh. Oh yeah. Because female Irken are more rare, right?" 

“Yes. Good, so you are aware of that. ...And  _ yes _ , it is a ‘friendly’ thing by Irken standards. ...Humans have similar?” Zim looked past Dib a moment, thinking, before shrugging again. “Was that ‘okay’ you are alive, or ‘okay’ let’s sex?”

“Ah, yeah, friends ‘with benefits’ and… um. ‘Okay’ to sex? I’m also alive, but- I just wasn’t expecting that, Zim. I’m stunned, honestly. Ah- have you been, like, thinking about this? Um…" Oh god, what was he doing?

“Mm… On and off. Since learning the Dib had a phallus, mostly.” The only problem with that was that, as far as Dib knew, they had still been trying to kill each other at that point. “Also, I will not be ‘jealous’ should Dib share this with others. ...Action. Stories, not so much.”

Dib frowned. “Share...you mean to do things with other people? Or- I’m not a jackass. I don’t kiss and tell like that, or anything.” He squirmed a little, sitting up and looking at Zim. “You wanted to fuck back in  _ high skool _ ?” he asked. “Really?” 

“Yes, doing things. And, eh… Zim was aware that Dib was still larval, so not  _ precisely _ . Though enough larval-worms were having fun, I noticed. But… Zim did begin to  _ wonder _ then, yes.” He shrugged, still watching Dib, and Dib wondered just what, exactly, they were going to do next. One of them had to move, right?

“...Huh.” Dib blinked again, then shook his head. “Wow. That’s… weird. But okay.” Shifting again, he looked at Zim. “So… this is awkward. I’m- I guess- are there differences? In…” he gestured with his hand, then rubbed his face. “I mean. I’ve had experiences, but…” Oh god. From the sound of it, Zim had certainly had more lovers and more often, then him. 

“Of course there are ‘differences’,  _ Dib-beast _ . We’re  _ aliens _ ,” Zim answered, but with a bit of a… smirk? “And human modesty is not helping.” Zim paused, then unfolded and moved closer. “...I am… perhaps nervous. And quite interested. It should not be…  _ insurmountably _ different. ...Dib… certainly wants to touch?”

Dib huffed. “I mean socially. Like kissing, or- stuff like that.” He took a deeper breath, then moved closer, too. “I am nervous, too. And… yeah, touch would be nice? I mean.” Dib thought about it, then grinned a little, relaxing, “This is not how I ever expected anything with you to be.” 

“No, Dib expected vivisection,” Zim agreed, shaking his head. “Best not to kiss on camera. Probably not on call with the Tallest, either, though who really knows? But fun is not… uncommon. And Dib is tall.” Because that mattered- only it actually  _ did _ , in Zim’s world, and as silly as Dib found it, he knew better than to bring that up now!

“Well, yeah, I am hella not kissing on camera. You have your status stuff.” Dib grinned again, more firm, but sheepish. He was closer, too, and just went for it, kissing Zim carefully. The Irken  _ tasted _ sweet. That wasn’t a shock, not at all. But it was  _ nice _ . 

Zim was frozen for a second, but moved to hold Dib closer before the human could worry much. He was… trying to work out how  _ not _ to hurt Dib, he realized a moment later. Zim’s skin wasn’t really  _ pebbly _ , but it was  _ studier _ than human skin, and probably harder to cut. At least, Dib didn’t remember seeing shallow cuts on Zim…

Gloveless, Zim’s little claws pricked when he dug them in. But it was careful, too. He deepened the kiss when the opportunity presented itself. He pulled back when Zim made a little flitting sound, though the Irken mostly looked stunned. And a bit blue- blushing? 

“Dib is… very soft…” Zim murmured, moving his hand up to feel just the very bottom of Dib’s scalp. “And hair is odd.” That wasn’t what he was thinking, Dib suspected- then again, he wasn’t actually sure if Zim  _ was _ thinking, until the Irken smirked. “Are you going to be okay with  _ naked _ ?” he asked,  _ teasing _ .

Dib flushed brighter. “I’m tempted to say no, just because of that,” he grumbled, before touching the edge of Zim’s Irken uniform. “I have a feeling you are. I’m just- you really have wanted to see me naked? You’ve seen a lot of me, already you know.” It was half teasing back, and Dib found himself relaxing a bit. 

  
“Zim is just waiting to prove his imagination was up to the task!” Zim answered, all bluster. “Aside from lungs- though that’s hidden again…” Zim was either  _ very bad _ at keeping a ‘mood’, or unaware that such a thing existed. “...It is also a comfort thing. So prove Dib is comfortable!” He wrapped a hand around Dib’s wrist and gently helped lift his tunic, allowing but letting Dib take the lead.

-

To Dib’s honest surprise, Zim seemed perfectly willing to  _ cuddle _ , nuzzling against Dib. There was the sound of pak-legs, which didn’t even scare him any more, and then they were covered in a blanket and… yeah. Dib was  _ really good _ with this. “Dicks ‘re good,” Zim mumbled, and if anything he seemed to be trying to get closer to Dib.

Dib laughed, then kissed a lekku that was near enough, He could tell that Zim was pretty much asleep only a moment later, following suit, himself, not long after that. Yeah, he was pretty content with this, he decided. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants the full chapter, which is just self-indulgent smut, let us know and I'll post a side-story. There are a few other places where things get cut, but nothing else to this extent.


	5. Wake up, number 37...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might just be my favorite chapter.

Zim was… not expecting to still be in Dib’s arms when he woke. It wasn’t usually an Irken thing, after all, and he was pretty sure Dib wasn’t ‘friendly’ enough to care about that. But… he was, and Zim was pretty sure that Dib had been sleeping as well, but he was awake now and just watching, as closely as Zim had watched before. Zim found himself smiling, and was startled when Dib smiled back. It seemed at least some part of his will was back.

“You purr in your sleep,” Dib said. “It’s, ah, really cute, actually.” His arms were still firmly around Zim, and the Irken wiggled, because oh, the human was  _ so warm _ . But the tallest, it was nice, warm and soft and very safe feeling, too. 

“Zim is not a cat,” Zim answered, warm and  _ happy _ and… “Why is Dib so… displeased with the concept of ‘military’?” He was being foolish- Zim actually  _ knew _ he was being foolish- but at the same time, Dib had made it quite clear he had no plans of his own! And he  _ still _ didn’t even know what had stolen the human’s will- there was no way at all it was just growing up, and Zim was really pretty sure that he was going to have to fight not to murder Dib’s parental-unit. It wouldn't help matters, after all.

“Where’d that question come from?” Dib asked, before shaking his head. “I’m not big on authoritarianism,” he said. “And military- that is entirely, well, that.” He sighed, then shrugged. “What does it matter, Zim? I wouldn’t join the human military if I could.” 

“Not  _ human _ military,” Zim dismissed with a click. “Authority-ism in general, or personal? Dib follows laws- even before, Dib mostly followed laws. And there is no human law against alien-killing…” It wasn’t something they’d discussed, and he was curious as much as anything. “Mm… Also, breakfast? ... _ Food _ breakfast.” Zim clarified with a smirk, even if he wasn’t thrilled about the idea of leaving his new warm nest.

“I can hate authority and still follow laws, Zim,” Dib answered. “But I broke plenty of laws when chasing you, you know. I broke in places, stole…” he shook his head. “Come on, Zim, I’m not joining the Irken- armada, or whatever.” He waved a hand, then shifted. “Food breakfast sounds good, anyway.” 

“No… Zim knows that,” he agreed, though he was pretty sure Dib would have some clue of his disappointment. He shouldn’t even  _ be _ disappointed! “Zim is… not certain why. ...Apart from the obvious trying to invade Earth.” Which  _ was _ obvious, but also something that could be dealt with, and Dib wasn’t protesting that right now anyway. “...Stealing from aliens is also not illegal? We could breakfast on the recreation deck.”

Dib shook his head. That glimmer of will was gone, suddenly, evaporated. “I thought you wanted me to be a tour guide or something, remember?” he asked. “It’s not about Earth. I’m just not into it, okay? Breakfast on the recreation deck- yeah, that sounds good.” He shifted, and Zim was moved from his nest prematurely while the human sat up. 

“Dib should not leave such things up to  _ Zim _ ,” Zim grumbled, nuzzling into the warm spot before looking balefully up at Dib. “... _ Really _ . I was just… wondering. It is… very different.” Dib did  _ soften _ at that, but all will and fight was gone, and Zim knew better than to push. “...Zim does notice- hotels are much the same, in all cultures. Of course there are only so many ways to house and feed people, but… it is a thing.”

“I thought you would want to boss me around more,” Dib commented dryly. He turned away, reaching for his shirt. Zim watched him, annoyed that the human would decide to get dressed already. Zim hadn’t even really gotten a chance to look at him! 

He  _ could _ , at least, look later, Zim tried to soothe himself. Unless he had completely mis-read things, which… was possible with Dib, then the human did want to continue their relationship as it had become. Still, one of these days… “Does Dib  _ want _ to be ‘bossed around’? Dib’s will did not tend that way before, but, mm… Zim is not  _ opposed _ …” Only this wouldn’t be because  _ he _ had won, or even because their desires aligned, not  _ really _ , and that was a  _ problem _ .

Dib shook his head, but he didn’t answer, not  _ really _ . “Stop being weird,” he grumbled. “Talking about my ‘will’ or whatever.” There was scoffing there, and then the human waved a hand before Zim could fully bristle. “Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Sure, Zim. That’s the kicker. I want you to be bossy.” It was sarcastic, and frustrating. 

That was  _ entirely not helpful _ . ...Except that it  _ was _ testable, in a couple manners. Zim relaxed a bit as he thought about that, but… He could try being bossy with sex- and that was exciting, something Zim rarely got to do and  _ yes _ , of course it was because of height, but Dib- probably already knew that. And he could also try being bossy on the next planet, or… something. Not that either of them had had much need to  _ boss _ the other, and of course there was the fact that Dib was being sarcastic, which Zim  _ did _ actually notice. And maybe as a worst case, it would prompt Dib to fight, which would at least be  _ something _ .

After a while, Zim was hungry enough- he really didn’t need food, but he could feel hunger- to get up and get dressed, himself. Dib followed him to the recreation deck, and the human seemed to be less tense, but Zim did still wonder. They  _ both _ ate a lot, and ordered extra for later, too. 

By the time they went back up to their room, Dib was absolutely calmer- and Zim  _ itched _ to dig, to  _ fix _ his Dib! But if there was one thing age  _ had _ finally managed to teach Zim, it was that sometimes he had to go slowly. So, they spent the rest of the day, and the next, discussing various plans for the next planet- Zim was pretty sure it would be dry and/or cramped, given how things went. He also successfully instigated more sex, though it was in some way different- not unwanted, Zim was sure of  _ that _ , but… maybe less eager. That fit the pattern.

The last of the teams- the living ones- were there by then, and both of them were definitely ready to get to the next leg of the race. Zim was even willing to ignore Dib’s… ‘meditation’ as much as it confused and worried him. 

“Caves?” Dib asked the following morning, as each group was placed and the announcer gleefully revealed the task- to get to the other end of the system, and  _ any _ of those exits. 

“Is Dib claustrophobic?” Zim asked, actually concerned. It would be a  _ lot _ harder if he had to knock Dib out and drag him through, or ever just otherwise drug him, and… well, honestly, he  _ liked _ having Dib like this. It was almost like he was himself. Not to mention that, of course, these were  _ team _ challenges, and the threat of attack, and- hadn’t Dib crawled through Zim’s own service tunnels? So this would be the same thing!

“I’m not claustrophobic,” Dib scoffed, “I’ve snuck through into your lab from the tunnels below, remember?” They were on the same page, it seemed, and Dib immediately looked at Zim, “I’m more worried about what they put in there,” he said. That… made sense. Zim frowned, looking at the surroundings as well as they stepped into the tunnel. 

“In the interest of fairness, they didn’t have to  _ put _ anything in here,” Zim pointed out, before pulling out a pak-leg for light. They weren’t far in yet, but if it threw anyone off, all the better. “This is going to get messy,” he added, Dib pulling out a makeshift spear, which was now a makeshift staff, it seemed. “Why must human’s light-sensitivity be so small?”

Dib rolled his eyes. “Our vision isn’t even that bad compared to a lot of other animals,” he commented. Still, he stayed close to Zim as they walked, and with the spear out in front of him, using it to tell where things were. 

“And it is terrible compared to others. Of your own planet, even!” Not that natural Irken eyesight was that amazing, honestly, but that was precisely  _ why _ they didn’t  _ use _ natural eyes any longer. They continued along the tunnel, and Zim wasn’t even surprised when Dib pocketed a few of the rocks. He seemed to be selecting for pretty, and not for sharp, but by now the human had enough sharp things, so that was okay too.

They’d been walking for a full joor when Dib touched his arm, pausing. Zim blinked, looking around. But then he heard it too, soft footsteps, following them and right there. Dib started walking again, speaking, “I thought I saw another pretty rock, but I was wrong.” Zim snorted, but he knew the sly trick as it was, a trick. 

“Just because  _ Dib _ does not think it’s pretty…” Zim pointed out- and really, they  _ could _ just talk out and out about their followers, given that this was in English, but… well, in this case paranoia was likely safer.

“Should I go back for it?” Dib asked. ‘ _ Should I turn and see who is following? _ ’ The question actually was. “You could pick some rocks, Zim.” 

“Sure, Dib, go back to your ‘pretty rock’. If nothing else, it may make a nice sound when thrown…” Zim wasn’t sure about that- about the real question, or statement, there. As far as he knew, Dib had never killed a person, and now he may not have a choice, and Zim needed Dib to consider that for at least a moment.

They stopped, and so too, did the footsteps. Dib turned, spear point facing out, and Zim followed suit. He frowned as he realized that even he could not see in the dark, who was there, or how close. But it was quiet, silent now, as they stood, and Dib started walking again. The motion that hit was quick and harsh, and even Zim was not expecting lazer fire or Dib pushing him down to avoid it. 

Startled as he was, instinct and training didn’t let Zim freeze. He could hear a camera somewhere around, and promptly ignored that as he came up listening. The other team was lighter than Dib, and quieter, and Zim had  _ no idea _ how Dib knew just when to step forward, thrusting harshly with the spear and actually  _ catching _ someone. That lead to a scream- and an unexpected growl, which was enough for Zim to dart forward with a pak-leg and no compunctions.

There was a flash of fire again, rapid lazer strikes that hit the side of one wall and the sound of Dib snarling. He used his spear to knock the plasma gun out of the hands of whoever was fighting him. Whoever it was, they had more firepower, and there was no warning when he and Dib both hit the wall that had been struck by lazer fire. It crumbled under them with a rumble, and closed up behind them from the falling rock as both human and Irken fell into water below. 

Zim  _ tried _ . He really,  _ really _ tried to swim, to mimic what Dib seemed to be doing so easily. The water was  _ cold _ , and as much as just walking along the bottom was  _ technically _ an option, it wasn’t one Zim at all wanted to take because there was water and he was wet and Dib would still have to swim and couldn’t rest!

“Zim?” Dib asked. There were crystals above, painting everything in a dim blue and green glow. The human swam over, then reached out. “Hey, come here.” Zim chirped, startled as Dib grabbed at him and pulled him over, onto the human’s back. “I know you can’t swim easy.” 

“Dib cannot carry Zim long!” the Irken answered- though that did nothing to stop him from clinging to Dib, doing his  _ very _ best to relax and not be too much of a weight. He needed the help- Zim couldn’t argue that- but he was so  _ very _ aware that Dib could only do so much! “There’s- there’s got to be an edge…”

“We’ll find one,” Dibe answered. “I’m okay.” There was a calmness, and for a moment, Dib paused, reaching back to touch Zim’s side, gentle, but soothing. He started swimming, then, following the current of the water. “The water’s cold, Zim. How long can you stand it?”

“Zim is fine. Paks keep the important organs warm. Hours. How long can Dib stand it?” Zim mostly focused on keeping enough air in his body to approximate floating, kicking a bit before realizing that was less help than hindrance.

Dib continued to swim, “I don’t know,” he said. He turned his head, looking at Zim as well as he could. “I’ll swim for as long as I can,” he said. “Just keep looking for a ledge or something.” Zim was more concerned by that than he liked, but continued to look as best as he could. The light and movement of the water didn’t help, nor did the cold. 

Zim really wished he could use Dib like a platform and get some  _ height _ , but he knew enough about buoyancy to know that would never work. That left just… floating, doing his best to make out what was a ledge and what wasn’t. So far, he felt pretty good to be making out the  _ wall _ , and Zim knew he couldn’t chip at that fast enough to actually be of any help.

The human swam for a long time, longer than Zim thought was possible. He was silent, focused, and Zim actually jumped when Dib spoke, quietly. “Do you remember, the last year of high skool?” he asked. “When I left half way through the year and didn’t come back?” 

“Yeess…? Zim remembers. ...Zim looked, but… could not risk the mission…” Which was kind of a lie, honestly, and Zim added more before Dib could somehow misinterpret that. “And there were no records. ...Poof.” He wasn’t sure why Dib was asking, but something felt  _ wrong _ , wrong right down to the core.

There was quiet for a moment more, and then Dib spoke again. “Dad had me committed,” he said. Zim frowned at the word, not new, but without a real meaning that he could figure out. “I got into a fight with him about what I was going to do with my life. I don’t even remember how it started, but I… threatened to just ask you to take me to space and drop me off at the equivalent of a bus stop.” 

“No- I would have gone and explained how wrong he was, and it doesn’t matter who he tells,” Zim answered. “And then taken Dib and… maybe take over together?” He hadn’t made it that far in his snap-plan, and was still trying to figure out what ‘committed’ meant in this context, and he almost missed the change on the wall. “...Zim thinks there is a ledge.” 

“Yeah, well, that didn’t happen. I didn’t even have a chance to consider what I threatened.” Dib swam towards where Zim was pointing. “Gaz let him. She didn’t even warn me when they came to take me away.” 

That… really didn’t sound good. “She is aware of anything outside her games?” Zim tried- not defending Gaz, but because he really wasn’t sure what else he might say, and keeping Dib talking seemed like a good idea still. Dib was moving slower, something Zim had noticed but had put down to being tired, and he hadn’t really be able go beyond that.

There was quiet again, and Zim frowned. “Yeah. I guess it was dumb to think she would. I don’t even know if she noticed I was gone, come to think of it.” Dib laughed quietly. “Anyway. You keep asking what changed. I figured… well, whatever.” He trailed off, swimming still slowed. “Can you get to the ledge yet?” 

“...Committed  _ where _ ?” Zim asked softly, without even meaning to, before stretching for the ledge. “It is  _ just _ out of reach. Just…” Even stretching as much as he could, the most Zim could manage was scraping a pak-leg against the rock, which nearly threatened to send them back out into the water. “...Come  _ on _ , Dib, we are nearly there…!”

“The Krazy House,” Dib answered. Zim didn’t like how calm he was. “...There’s something in the water. It’s been following for a while now.” Zim felt ice down his spine, especially as Dib pat Zim’s leg, the limb feeling like ice as clumsy fingers pushed Zim up. 

“Okay- well- that’s more reason to get  _ out _ \- Dib?” One leg caught, and Zim wasn’t able to hold back the wince as his weight shifted. One was enough, though, and Zim was able to pull them both closer, scrabbling until the second pak-leg caught- and abruptly Dib was pulled away from him, tugged away  _ hard _ , and Zim was too cold and numb to stop it.

He turned, calling out to Dib as he did. The water was dark, and Zim felt true worry as bubbles started to rise, but no Dib followed. Zim scrambled up, slamming a line from his pak into the side of the ledge, before he moved back, searching for where the bubbles had been, and were now gone. 

The water was clean enough that it didn’t burn, and that was quite honestly all that Zim cared about- even if it had burned, of course, he would go in, because Dib was  _ his _ , but it was  _ nice _ that it didn’t burn. Or maybe it was and he was just too cold- all he could do was scuttle down the wall and do his best to look around, trying to see through the dark and the muck. Find Dib, find the thing that  _ stole him _ …

Zim felt the creature before he saw it, a thin tentacle wrapping around one of his legs. Zim kicked it off, following the path to spot the… slime? It rested at the bottom of the water, mass like a jello mold that Zim knew from earth shows. He spotted Dib then, held by a few of the thin tentacles, limp and floating in the water. 

He should have just dropped, he should have just dropped down the moment he saw the ledge, let Dib get to it alone- only it  _ had _ been high- Zim wasn’t thinking, or he was thinking too fast to make sense of it, charging the jelly thing with every intention of making it  _ dead _ , though he couldn’t figure out where a core or anything was. Just cutting Dib free was almost certainly not enough, because this thing would just attack again, but also, Dib needed to not be in this water any more!

It lashed out, but with all the intelligence of the slime mold that it probably was. Zim was able to slash at it until it didn’t seem to move, grabbing at Dib and activating the pack cord to pull them towards the ledge. “Wake up, wake up!” Zim chanted as he scrambled up, trying to climb and pull Dib at the same time. The human was dead weight, and Zim barely got him up, nearly dropping him in the process. 

The ledge was narrow, almost too narrow for the two of them, but Zim didn’t worry about that at all, trying to work out what to do. Air- humans needed that, he knew, and so he turned Dib over, letting water run out his slack mouth. He was so cold,  _ too _ cold and- As the water ran out, and the drops faded to echoes, Zim realized there was no other sound. He tore a glove off to better feel Dib’s neck, where he had mapped the human’s pulse so many times just a couple days ago- and found nothing.

No, no! Zim let out a low hiss. This wasn’t right, it was downright unacceptable! He froze as a thought entered his mind, then growled. A quick link to a pak could be enough to force Dib into life again, and Zim himself could handle time without it. Old invaders told tales of helping fellow invaders in times of need, so- yes. “You will wake up, because  _ Zim _ demands it,” he said, rolling Dib further over and pulling at his coat. 

This  _ was _ crazy, of course. Absolutely so, but Zim did not  _ care _ . Dib did not end here- That was Zim’s will, and his demand, and so  _ it would be _ . Zim pulled the coat up, and the shirt with it. Not that he cared if someone found out- he would just have to kill them if they complained- but Dib would be mad if his shirt was ruined any more than it had to be. Dib was also lucky he was tall, with a wide area of back unmarked, because this  _ was _ going to scar. Zim made a soft sound as he pulled his pak off, something he had done before, and even as the countdown started, he couldn’t help but pause, hoping Dib wouldn’t be too upset. Then again, he wouldn’t  _ feel _ the pain.

Swallowing, he forced himself into movement, feeling blood running down his back and onto the stone below him. The pak worked immediately, shocking Dib, restarting his heart as the human spasmed, rolling and coughing up more of the murky water, tinged red. It was amazing to watch, honestly, especially as Dib gasped, breathing harsh and fast. 

He was being warmed up, too- Zim hadn’t even realized how  _ blue _ Dib was until the color started coming back, and Zim knew he was watching too close, but didn’t care. “Dib is okay. Breath- ugh, you’re still  _ cold _ …” But humans had a lot of blood, and a heart could only beat so fast, even with pak-help. Dib’s eyes weren’t focusing, either- it seemed he was still stuck on breathing, and that was okay. They still had plenty of time, and this wasn’t a case of letting one pak restart another. It really was cold in here.

Dib coughed, blinking and spasming again. “Wh-” he started, blinking, limbs flopping as he tried to move. His eyes were still unfocused, but he was looking at Zim, and the Irken was relieved to feel his pulse when checked. “Z-im?” he asked. 

“Yes. I am Zim, Zim is me. ...Maybe a  _ little _ you, right now,” Zim agreed, helping Dib to sit up more, and stopping him before he could try to lean back. That wouldn’t work well right now. “Is Dib warmer? How is breathing?” His pulse felt strong, but of course it did, right now. “Can you figure out how to run a scan?”

Dib continued to twitch, blinking and frowning. “What-” he gasped, reaching behind himself and touching the pak. A moment later and he jerked his hand away. “Zim! On, no, no, no. How do I get it off?” He looked panicked, and Zim knew adrenaline was being pumped directly into the human as he scrambled on the thin ledge. 

“Dib, stop that. There’s still almost five minutes left. Zim is  _ fine _ . Is Dib?” Zim answered, trying his best for ‘bossy’ and tangentially aware that he sounded a lot more  _ tired _ . On the other hand, moving around like that  _ did _ suggest that most of the damage was at least minimized, and there wasn’t any more water coming out as the human spoke. A moment later and Zim chirped irritably. “I’m not going to let  _ myself _ die either, moron. But it  _ is _ gonna be harder to get off if you don’t relax.”

“I don’t care about me!” Dib downright shrieked, as loud as Zim had ever heard him. “Tell me how to get it off me and back on you!” He twisted, and then seemed to be trying to force himself to calm down. “Get it off, Zim. Come on, this- five minutes isn’t long at all.” 

“Yeah, yeah- tell it to come off. Ah- wait- turn around.” Not that Dib would drop it, he wasn’t facing the right direction for that, but it  _ would _ be easier if Zim could help pull. “And breath slower. What’s that thing, you do in the cities? That should work.” Zim grinned, before shivering a bit.

Dib took deeper breaths and turned as ordered, “Zim, hurry,” he said. He looked back at Zim, worry on his face. Zim huffed, but then helped him disconnect, pulling the pack off and reattaching it to himself. Dib immediately breathed a sigh of relief, gasping and swallowing. “Thank you,” he breathed, as Zim gave his own gasps, reintegrating. 

Zim held up a finger on one hand, requesting time in the way he had seen other humans do so. Reintegrating was always odd, and this time was  _ definitely _ strangest of all. Considering he was still getting the odd flash of Dib’s body, that wasn’t particularly surprising, but it  _ was _ nice to warm up. And then he scoffed, grinning at Dib. “See? Zim is fine. Dib never answered.”

Running a hand through his hair, Dib blinked again, then looked down at himself. “I’m… alive?” he said. He blinked most, then swallowed. “I… um. I’m okay? Sore. Really sore…” Dib shook his head. “What happened?” 

“A slime mold tried to steal Dib from me. I objected,” Zim answered, shrugging a bit. “Zim had almost got you to the wall. ...You may dream of it, there are stories of that.” Of course, that was pak-to-pak connections, but it was still a possibility. Dib ought to like that. “...Dib… did not have a pulse. Zim was not going to allow that.”

Dib reached back, hissing as he found the new wounds from the pak. “You…” He swallowed, pausing and taking a deeper breath. “Fuck… Zim. I- ah. Thank you? I remember flashes.” He rubbed his face, then frowned. “You could have died and then we’d both be dead! Never do that again!” As though he wasn’t the one that had been  _ actually _ gone! 

“No,” Zim answered, and there were a thousand reasons why that wouldn’t happen- the pak would have released and gone back to Zim, for starters. None of those reasons mattered, though. “Zim did not will it. And so it would not be. ...Though Zim thinks Dib also did not will it, and so allowed this. ...Thank you.”

The human looked confused, very confused, but he shook his head, looking down at his hands and then swallowing. “Why are you thank- nevermind.” Dib shook his head, shivering and looking down at the water. He didn’t look  _ good _ , but there was little that could be done, Zim knew. 

“For not opposing Zim’s will in this,” Zim answered anyway, before shifting to be closer, pulling Dib closer as well. They needed to be warmer. “...Zim is still willing to show Dib’s parental unit,” he added, hoping to maybe get a short bark of laughter- Dib did that sometimes. “And we need to get up, once we can move. That should be… possible.”

There was no laughter, but Dib did squeeze arms around him, which was almost as good. “No, Zim, we aren’t going to show him anything.” Well, maybe not Dib. But Zim, Zim could… Zim’s thought was cut as Dib went on, looking around. “Do you think any of these walls are thin?” he asked. 

“Mm… given how we fell… ...At least that team is out…” His foe was certainly not going to be moving again, and Dib’s have died as well, from wounds. “...That’s a lie. Zim rather wishes he had more  _ time _ with them,” Zim admitted after a moment, before going to knock on the wall behind them. “Maybe?”

“The other option is getting back in the water,” Dib said, looking below. A moment later and he added, frowning, “I don’t think I could swim us again, not for long. I’m definitely going to feel this later as it is.” He looked at Zim, but then went to the wall and took out his knife to start carving. 

“No more swimming,” Zim agreed, poking at the wall a bit more before thudding a pak-leg into it. He was going to have to replace them at the end of this thing, but that was expected. “Dib should rest. Eat. ...Dib will need to eat.” He still had some snacks, of course, and pulled a couple out, offering them to the human. Dib could rest and nap while Zim did the work for a bit- Dib had already brought them here, so he was good.

Dib shook his head. “I should help you,” he said, though his entire body shook when he started to move closer to Zim, and the wall. Zim pushed him again, and he couldn’t even fight. They were both soaked, and Dib still felt icy as the Irken forced him to sit and take the snacks. 

"Sit. Rest. Dib swam us here. Now it's my turn," Zim assured him, setting Dib up in the most protected corner this ledge had, and opening the bag of snacks for him. "...We make a good team, Diblet." As soon as it seemed Dib was actually going to rest, Zim returned to chipping at the wall in what seemed the weakest place. He'd rather not climb and risk dropping the human.

This time, Dib did not argue, eating and immediately falling into sleep. Zim was relieved by that, though he still worried about how cold Dib was, skin a blue hue that was not from the crystals in the rock. Zim used a large one of said crystals to help keep light as he worked. It didn’t take all that long, the thin rock breaking under his tools. The Irken wouldn’t be surprised if they had been thinned artificially in the hopes that a team would fall into the cavern. 

If that had been the hope, they weren't expected back up- or else the cave-in had blocked cameras. Zim was glad for that, because it wouldn't go well if other species picked up on what he'd done, really. It also meant this return would win them all kinds of popularity. Picking Dib up, Zim started heading through the new tunnel.

He heard the sound of the camera drones after a few minutes, setting Dib down and shaking him. “I’m here.” Dib said, opening his eyes and looking around. “You should have woken me before,” he added, pushing to stand up by himself. 

“Why?” Zim asked, though he did let Dib stand. The human mostly managed, though he was still very close to the wall, and Zim really didn’t blame him. He was exhausted as well, as much as he didn’t entirely have to feel it. “Dib needed rest. And now we are almost there.”

“Because I could do it without burdening you.” Ah, of course, the dumb human need to be independant. That was part of why humans failed, and why Dib really needed a good trial in doing things the Irken way! 

All the human’s  _ selfishness _ had been stripped away- not that there had actually been much before that, but Dib  _ hadn’t _ been opposing him or protecting earth just for the sake of the measly  _ planet _ . That had been obvious from the start, everything the then-boy had let slip. He wanted recognition from it, just like Zim had, and there was nothing wrong with that. But there was also the sort of selfishness needed to keep healthy and rested and all of that, and yes, Dib had been shaky on that, but he’d done well enough, and now Dib was complaining and trying to stand on his own. It was annoying.

His annoyance must have been showing, because Dib pointedly didn't look at him. "I'm fine," he said. That was a lie. Even Zim was not 'fine' in any remote sense of the word, and Dib was…  _ recovering from literal death _ . "Appearances, Zim, remember?" Dib added, looking at the cameras incoming. 

“Dib showing weakness would not  _ harm _ appearances. Even Zim showing weakness would not. We’re a  _ cross-species team _ . And I am  _ Irken _ ! They have never seen this!” Zim pointed out, though he did paste on a smile. “Tallest could  _ use _ a softer image,” he added, very softly, and honestly, Zim wasn’t sure if Dib could hear. That was okay- he shouldn’t really have said it, true or not, but Zim had stopped worrying about that ages ago.

Dib made a  _ sound _ . But a moment later, he leaned on Zim, not being carried, but being  _ helped _ . “Only because I think I might fall over,” he said. A moment later and he shifted, because there was light at the end of the tunnel they were in, a pinpoint of it in the distance. 

“...Zim might fall over too,” Zim agreed, wrapping an arm around Dib and holding back a pleased click at the faint warmth Dib was giving. It was better than ice, by far. They hobbled out of the tunnel, and oh, yes, they were absolutely not expected to have survived. “Some people just won lots of monies,” Zim commented quietly, waving a bit. Dib did the same, but the interview drones stayed nicely away this time, and it wasn’t long until they were safely in the transport- and this time it had snacks.

That was when the screen pinged, Red and Purple on the other line. Dib nearly reached over and declined the call before Zim could accept it, pushing the human down and hissing quietly. 

“ **Zim!** ” Purple immediately said on the video. “ **You’re** **_alive_ ** **?** ” 

“ **Did my Tallest expect any less from the amazing Zim?** ” Zim answered, doing his utter best to stand straighter. “ **Also as expected, your choice of Dib-human for Zim’s partner has only increased my already certain chances of winning. Humans float!** ” Dib, for his part, was making no effort at all to stand, staying where he’d been pushed, apart from waving a little when Zim mentioned him. Zim was pretty sure that was ‘sardonically’.

Red made a low sound. “ **Float?** ” he asked. “ **You both look very wet. Is the human… alright?** ” He was trying to see better, though Dib sat up a bit, giving the Irken version of a ‘thumbs up’ as Zim had taught him. 

“ **Both of you look beat up,** ” Purple added. “ **We saw you go into the tunnel.** ” 

“T **here was a river. The current helped us along quite nicely. Dib-thing** ‘swam’-” that word was English, for lack of translation, “ **us down the river, and then I,** **_Zim_ ** **, opened the wall when we were closer,** ” Zim answered. “ **...We are wet.** ” And- well, the Tallest weren’t likely to  _ object _ to what he had done, not with the monies he was sure he had won them, but there was also no  _ need _ for them to know yet. “ **There was water-mold.** ”

“ _ Swaaam _ ,” Purple repeated, nodding along. “ **Well, huh. I want to see that some time.** ” 

Red sighed, frowning. “ **You are doing well so far, Zim, and… Dib.** ” He looked to the side, then back to Zim, and Dib, behind him. “ **We’ll have medical supplies left in your next room.** ”

“ **Thank-you, my Tallest,** ” Zim answered, feeling something odd blossom deep inside. They actually…  _ meant _ the praise, this time- not that they hadn’t before, but it wasn’t as grudging, and… The call ended as he thought, and then Zim broke, grinning and squeezing up against Dib happily. This  _ had _ to be some manifestation of Dib’s will as well- even if the human just thought he wanted to feel better. He had  _ known _ it wasn’t really gone, just… hiding, and Dib had forgotten everything about it. But it was still there!

“For thinking we’d die on the first planet, they sure changed their minds quickly.” Dib commented. Zim huffed but didn’t answer, too intent on how he was going to get them into the hotel room from the transport. It didn’t take long, and Zim sighed as they reached their room, immediately pushing Dib towards the bathroom. 

“They change as new information comes in. Though you would think they might understand Zim’s will better…” Zim answered, distracted by pulling Dib’s jacket off, carefully. It could still be salvaged, and he knew it was precious to the human. The shirt, however, was beyond hope, and so Zim didn’t bother with it, maneuvering them both into the shower and starting the water and  _ so _ happy that it was  _ clean _ , and even more,  _ hot _ . Not too hot- he wasn’t sure of Dib’s tolerances, and didn’t want to scald him. “Dib-thing can change the temperature,” he added, before simply tearing the shirt off. His uniform was also a loss, Zim realized, but that wasn’t a shock.

Dib nodded, hitting the buttons with clumsy fingers and shifting as Zim examined him. The Irken hadn’t even noticed that Dib was hit by the laser-fire, chirping and looking at a fresh mark on his shoulder. The trenchcoat and shirt had offered far more protection than Zim expected. “It’s not as bad as it looks,” Dib said. 

“Can you lift your arms?” Zim pointed out, hissing a little. “...Well. You  _ did _ have almost six and a half minutes with the pak. And Zim was fine!” He still didn’t like seeing the damage, and really wished he  _ could _ somehow have longer with the attackers, but unless he felt like trying to make a scenario in VR, it wasn’t worth it. “...What did Dib… think of it?”

"With the amount of swimming I did, I won't be able to lift my arms until tomorrow night," Dib answered, gritting his teeth as he shifted. "I was so panicked… ah. But… it was interesting? I'd have to think about it." 

"There was no need to panic," Zim reiterated with a little shrug. "There was plenty of time. Though… Zim supposes Dib had more to adjust in the moment." Waking up with a large piece of alien technology- yeah, Zim could see how that might be weird, even for Dib. He pat the human on the back, then went back to undressing them. "There is time. Warm and rest."

"I think I am just in shock still," Dib said. "And there was plenty of reason to panic, Zim! You didn't see yourself." The human turned obediently, half resting against the shower stall while Zim looked at the places the pak had connected, tracing down skin. 

"No… and neither did you," Zim agreed, touching gently. "Zim did avoid all Dib-friend's other marks. I tried for that." He was… not concerned about the scars, but maybe worried about Dib's reactions. "Well. Dib has seen my back now. You can guess." Then, quieter, he added, "You were not breathing. For so long. Zim wishes you had done the scan…"

"Thank you," Dib said. "It's- even if they got messed up, I wouldn't care. You saved me… I'm sorry, I couldn't figure it out…" he swallowed, then looked back at Zim. "You really worried that much, I don't know what to say." 

"It… was a lot to ask. And… that is not how Dib ends." Zim shrugged, patting Dib. "And Zim… was not really in danger yet," he insisted, though Dib's doubt regarding that was sort of cute. "Dib… would do the same. I know we have not meant to end each other… even before poof."

"Before poof?" Dib asked. He shifted, then sighed and shook his head. But rinsing was all that they really did, and a little washing, but getting out and using bandages was more important. And then rest. 

"Poof. Committed." Zim gave a tiny shrug, helping Dib to the bed and glad they didn't have to worry about clothing right now. "There should be enough antibodies in your system, but more won't hurt. And it will aid with healing. Still will scar." Zim started slathering the cream on Dib's back, and chest, keeping just enough of an eye on things to be sure it would work on humans.

"Scars don't bother me," Dib said. "Who would care or see them?" he asked. "Other than you, I mean." He shifted, and then tugged Zim down onto the bed with him as Zim pushed him down. 

Zim laughed, and decided he didn't actually care about the hotel's sheets. Everything would work fine, and the bandages weren't  _ needed _ . "You are going to be very popular after this, Dib-thing. Though… maybe more for fun. So, maybe not as much care… ...Tak might care. If Dib asks." He was pretty sure she'd say yes, but Zim suspected Dib wasn't going to ask.

"Hm," Dib said, clearly not believing or following Zim's logic. He nuzzled into the Irken a moment later, sighing quietly. Zim was pretty sure it was relief from the salve, though he hit the human with a dose of painkillers anyway. "Thanks, Zim," he murmured. 

"Of course," Zim answered, patting him. Zim did take a dose of painkillers as well, and made a mental note to restock his pak with what he could later. Now it was time and past for sleep, and they were curled together, still warmed from the shower, and it was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, be honest, how many expected that?


	6. Dreams and Willpower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we're getting a better idea of just what Dib's stumbled onto here.

His dreams were filled with electricity and restraints, Tak's base and classes. Zim knew it was memories from Dib's very short attachment. Zim woke sore, and before the human, giving him a chance to examine and check before the human could wake. 

Dib was looking noticeably better, but Zim set out the stuff he would need before restocking, and then went to order them breakfast, picking sweeter foods than Dib usually liked. He would probably need it. Then he set in adding more cream and stuff, gentle and mostly trying not to wake Dib. He could ask about the dreams later.

The human woke slowly, and Zim realized that he was being watched. "Hey," he greeted softly, before groaning. "Ugh. Thanks." 

"Dib will be better soon. Already looking better. Breakfast is soon, too. How were dreams?" Zim had absolutely expected to get more of Dib, but he wasn't sure how much the human would have gained.

Dib blinked. "Weird. They… were they yours? I mean…" he groaned as he sat up, rubbing his face and rubbing at his own limbs. "I wasn't me, at least. I wasn't on Earth." 

Zim perked up, rather pleased. "Yes, likely mine. Irk or Vort, Zim would suspect. They may fade, but… not completely. Who should Zim kill for electricity?" He would, of course, but doubted Dib would actually  _ tell _ him. After another moment of thought, Zim reached up and rubbed Dib's head where lekku would be.

"It was pretty. I liked it," Dib said, closing his eyes. A moment later, and he frowned, looking at Zim again. "So you- Oh. I'm sorry," he said. "No one, Zim. Don't. Just, don't, Okay? Please." He was pleading Zim, immediate and both trying to press into the touch, but also upset. 

"Shh, shh. Zim will not. But Dib knows I would. And still Dib is so strong… here, fighting, Dib has will…" Zim ran his hand down the human's back, soothing. "Zim has also. Tallest have not been fond of Zim… but respect my will." Dib needed a good lesson in both selfishness and the healing properties of violent revenge.

Dib sighed. "You keep talking about 'Will' and all of that, but I don't get it." He turned and pressed against Zim's hand, reaching up to touch the Irken. "I know you would, if I told you who, where- all of that. It scares me. Not that long ago, we would have fought, and viciously. Now, it's different. And I don't know how I feel." 

"Fighting is… not bad? Not always. It… scares Dib that Zim would kill? Humans? Or for him?" And it wasn't like Dib had any reason to  _ know _ of the deaths Zim had caused. Or that he still didn't feel terrible about them. Then again, it may have been in the memories shared… "Will is… is… is will. Focus? Force? Desire? It… Zim was happy to see Dib for this."

"That you would kill for me," Dib answered. "I just…" he shook his head, then sighed. "Happy to see me for… this?" He questioned, blinking and sitting up further. 

"Dib went poof. And… no other person could work with Zim. Dib can… and will, is good with it. ...And is competent." Zim nodded, petting Dib's shoulder, since it was safe enough. "You are worth killing for. And revenge is good."

Dib blinked and shook his head, before pressing his face against the Irken's neck, eyes closed. "Stop it," he grumbled. "I'm not stable or up enough to hear all of that."

"You mean Dib cannot rationalize away the amazingly true words of Zim!" The Irken answered, cackling a bit as he checked on the bandages he had got on this time. "...Tak's base, though? Zim is glad. She is… not terrible."

The human made a low sound again. He pulled back, turning a bit and looking Zim over as well. "I turned eighteen after dad signed the papers. They couldn't legally hold me, so… they just shoved me outside with a bag of stuff. Tak found me, drugged out of my damn mind, wandering near." 

Zim's lekku pulled down, and he clicked unhappily. "Zim… should have kept looking. Should have put that chip in Dib's brain when I had a chance. Should- arg. Doesn't matter. Zim knows this." He hissed a bit and shook his head. "I will not harm your parental-unit, either. Unless you ask." Maybe not even then, aside from emotionally. 

"I am quite fine without a chip in my head!" Dib said. "I'm fine, I'm okay. I'm fine." He kissed the Irken's cheek in a surprise show of affection. "No chips. None of that. Okay? I think we can agree with that." 

"But then Zim could find you," Zim answered, grinning a bit from the kiss. "...Why… Why did you tell Zim, while swimming? I… thought you just… needed to stay awake…" He still wasn't pressing, but Dib seemed more willing to talk now that it was known, and maybe that made sense. Zim wasn't sure, because it was very human.

Dib frowned. "...I could tell how tired I was, and how close that thing was. I figured, you know. I was probably going to get pulled under anyway…" He shook his head, then shrugged. "That was it, basically." 

"But that topic?" Zim asked, confused by it, and chilled a bit. Dib had… expected to die? But he hadn't  _ wanted _ to, Zim was sure. He was just… so weakened… "Zim wants to help you."

"You kept asking and prodding about why I was different, and I dunno. I just felt like it." Dib looked at Zim, then frowned, confused. "You want to help me?" he asked. "What do you mean? I'm fine, obviously." 

"Dib can now lift his arms?" Zim asked, rubbing at one. "Zim is… still sore as well. But… you're not 'fine'. It… Dib does not need to  _ oppose _ Zim. But…" He shook his head, making an irritated sound. "We have covered this. Zim is trying to be clear."

Dib scoffed, but lifted his arm with a wince and somewhat of a nod. "Zim, I'm- trust me, I am fine. Just because I'm not screaming and jumping and all of that, it doesn't mean I'm wrong or messed up." He paused, then huffed at Zim. "This 'will' thing is… I don't know." 

"...You… might come across it. Zim is… not sure how else to explain… Zim… does not expect screaming and jumping? Not sure if you noticed, but Zim is not exactly screaming as much too?" He grinned as he said that, and shrugged. "...Breakfast is here," Zim said, just before the door chimed.

Dib looked relieved. He moved as Zim pulled on a robe and went to get the food. When Zim came back, the human spoke again. "No, but… I think you know what I am meaning, Zim. You keep talking about my will being gone, but… I'm still me. Like. I am still the way I am. I'm just… I don't know." 

Thinking, Zim handed Dib his plate, before starting on his own. "Dib… you're right. You have the will- Zim has seen that. Felt it. But… But not… not now…" The situation wasn't helped by the fact that Dib didn't seem to know what to feel  _ for _ .

Dib sighed, nodding and thanking Zim. The human didn't even complain about how sweet it was, eating nearly as much as Zim himself. After some time, he looked at Zim again, then spoke. "I think… that it is just that I… don't entirely care, right? Because I don't have specific things I want right now, you don't like that. But it isn't bad."

"How is it… not bad? Not having something to work for…" Zim frowned, then took a breath. "That must also be a  _ human _ thing. Zim has  _ always _ had a plan! Many plans!" Which Dib knew well, having stopped more than a few.

"It's not bad. It means I'm able to change my mind on things. I can adapt. Like, if I had a plan, would I be so ready to help us win? Does that make sense?" Zim slowly nodded, and Dib went on. "It's the only way I have been able to function, I guess." 

"...You don't… have to go back, Dib," Zim said, slowly. He didn't want to say it, really, because  _ he _ had to go back, and he'd really be happier if Dib were there, even if he were just running alien tours. But it  _ was _ an option!

Dib noticed. "Maybe not, but you know, I wouldn't be able to get that new tattoo," he said. "And I thought we were friends, Zim. I wouldn't be a good friend if I couldn't at least check on you." He looked at Zim, then smiled carefully. "And you want me to come back." 

Zim looked down and nodded. “To… earth, yes. ...At least for that tattoo. Dib… has a place to stay?” He’d have to figure out some way of taking over- well, of course, that went without  _ saying _ , but something that got around humans’ stupid dumbness. Maybe- no, Dib would never let him take over his stupid father-unit’s so-called mind. Maybe he should look up those horrible alien-people again…

“My apartment is still probably around,” Dib answered. “At least, it should be. I was paid up for the month.” He paused, then shifted, touching Zim’s leg. “Thanks again, Zim. Don’t worry, right? I know where your base is.” But Zim  _ did _ worry. He would rather Dib just stay at his base. It was safer, and he could work on making sure the human wasn’t being foolish. 

“...Apartment is not required…” Zim commented, shifting a bit himself before covering Dib’s hand with his own. “Just… so Dib is aware…” Tak had very likely offered similar, and Dib had already proven to be  _ irritatingly _ human in his desire for independence, but it was worth a shot. “...Has Dib… looked at all for stink-monkeys?”

Dib blinked. “What, you’d want me to… stay with you?” He smiled, then turned his hand to take Zim’s. “Are you sure?” he asked. “I’m not easy to live with, I know that. Tak was so patient with me, but… I knew she wanted me out of there.” He considered Zim’s question, then added, “Have I looked for… stink-monkeys?” 

“Zim  _ knows _ you have met Gir,” Zim pointed out. “And is this not living with? Tak is Tak. And Zim is unsure how much human friends live with?” Zim also suspected that Dib had missed more than a few of Tak’s cues, especially since he  _ still _ seemed to feel no-one wanted him, a feeling Zim understood easily. “Stink-monkeys. The. Things.”

“This is short term,” Dib answered. He shrugged. “I don’t know, I mean… friends do tend to live with each other, but… yeah?” He considered the question again. “You mean skunk-apes? Or- a thing like I looked for before high school?” 

“Yes? Yes. One of those,” Zim agreed, aware he hadn’t really answered the question. “But would  _ Dib-thing _ be able to manage with  _ Gir _ ? Gir comes first.” Because of course he did, but Dib also was looking at Zim as though that were a totally foolish comment, because  _ of course _ he did.

Dib scoffed. “I wouldn’t come between you and Gir, Zim. Your base is his home first and foremost. But, ah. Yeah? I did some looking. Never found anything, though, to be honest. I mean, I’ve seen other stuff, but…” he trailed off, shrugging. His next words had Zim actually more concerned than anything else. “I’ve pretty much stopped looking for the paranormal. What’s the point?” 

“Finding it?” Zim answered, before frowning. A moment later and he raised a finger, just so Dib would realize that he was  _ thinking _ and not  _ ignoring _ . Thinking like he was someone else was  _ hard _ , even with the new pak-memories, but… The professor had made it fairly obvious that even if Dib brought back a Bigfeet, he would explain it away. Why aliens didn’t classify as ‘scientific’, Zim had  _ no _ clue, but announcing himself wouldn’t do much to change his view, as much as Zim still planned on doing that. And the professor was, or at least had been, Dib’s Tallest, for lack of any better comparison. So… “...Well. Not to protect people. ...To protect it?”

“But if it draws attention there, anyway…” Dib shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, really. There are others, still, who go looking. I know aliens, and- I mean, I’ve now been to other planets. It’s cool.” Zim’s lekku were flat down, against his skull, but Dib didn’t entirely seem to notice. “Why are you asking, anyway?” 

"...Those… were a basis of Dib. Hunting and… curiosity. Zim is… trying to find your basis now," Zim answered, trying not to upset Dib because that always sent him back into that  _ wrong _ quiet. "Maybe… the Tallest would allow Dib to visit Irk. See if it was there or Vort."

The human put aside his plate, then stole Zim's to do the same. He was still naked, but half under a blanket. "I am still me," he said. "But I don't have the need to justify myself to everyone else anymore. If I go out on a hike or camping trip and see a bigfoot, then I go out and see it. But I don't care if others believe me. When I fucking  _ sleep _ with an alien, half way through an alien  _ race _ , I don't care that no one would believe because I know it is true." 

Zim nodded, then cocked his head and chirped. “So Dib… maybe looks, but not to  _ prove _ . ...Zim… agrees. Zim is not sure my disguise is even really needed… They don’t  _ want _ to know, so they don’t.” An entire planet’s will could be very strong, and willful ignorance was its own shield- Zim knew he had fallen victim to that when convincing himself that he’d been equipped as well as other invaders. He was  _ trying _ to be aware of it in himself now.

"Yeah," Dib agreed. "I am still curious, but I'm curious about other things. Like, I am curious about Irk, and Vort, and other planets. But it isn't… all encompassing." He touched Zim. “It is like you. You are still you. But you have changed, too. Your plans aren't… well, doomy, I don't think anymore?" 

He nodded again, admitting to what Dib already knew. And then, cautiously, Zim pointed out, “Dib could study rocket science. ...Or anything astrology-y? That… should be ‘real science’?” He wasn’t really trying to push Dib to  _ do _ either of those things. It was a test, instead, and Zim knew it wasn’t the  _ nicest _ of tests, but… what sway did Dib’s parent-unit still have? What ultimate goal might Dib decide on?

Dib laughed quietly. Zim wasn’t expecting the hug, or how nice it made him feel. “I could. I did reverse engineer Tak’s ship…” He grinned a little, then shook his head. “It doesn’t have to be the narrow definition of real science. I don’t care. But…” he paused, then kissed Zim’s cheek again. “I could just figure it out later. I like living in the moment here with you.” 

“Dib did. Without help! In  _ Irken _ ,” Zim agreed, grinning. “...Zim… assumes you gave it back?” It wasn’t a big deal, he could probably scrounge enough parts to build Dib  _ something _ safer than current human rockets. Or to  _ help Dib _ build it. “Zim… likes being here too. With Dib.” And Dib was doing better again. And cuddling. Zim did like cuddling.

“Uh-huh,” Dib answered. He shivered, then simply sighed and nuzzled into Zim again. The Irken was content to lay there until they needed to move again. Both needed to stretch- and that would help soreness. Plus, Zim wanted to check Dib’s injuries. 

“It’s really not that bad,” Dib said. He cocked his head to the side, then looked Zim over. “Should I find a bruise on you to baby?” he teased. 

“Dib can  _ try _ ,” Zim retorted, rubbing the skin around Dib’s lazer wound. It really was doing better,  _ much _ better, enough that Zim thought they’d be able to manage on the next planet if needed. Another day would help, of course, but Dib  _ was _ almost able to move like normal. Zim was more worried about the pak-scar, just because infection there would go straight to Dib’s spine and brain- but most of the  _ deep _ wounds had been  _ thin _ , and everything was looking okay. “Zim is not easy to ‘baby’.”

“I think I could manage,” Dib answered. He looked at Zim, then caught the hand rubbing at his chest. “Seriously, it’s fine, Zim. You and I have done way worse to each other.” He turned, showing a small series of scars at his side, while Zim huffed. That was different! Utterly different! 

“Zim  _ knew _ Dib would survive  _ that _ . I just wanted you out of the way. And Zim knew anything less would  _ not _ keep you out. Dib is very stubborn.” And that was why hearing that he had given up in the water was… distasteful.

“But I’m alive now,” Dib answered. “Seriously, Zim. I’m not going to just keel over and die now. I mean, you brought me back from the dead, right? And it’s always said that the first twenty-four hours after bad injuries are the most worrisome.” Still, he turned as Zim pushed him to do so, sighing. But Zim wanted to check that other injury still! 

“Ugh- why do humans  _ know _ that stuff? Really- Dib has no idea of how many races  _ just the fall _ would have killed. Dib’s opponent is most likely dead. Even Irkens need a pak!” Not that any of them went  _ without _ now, but this was exactly why. “And humans can barely manage  _ surgery _ , but still know it!”

Dib scoffed. “We do just fine with surgeries now,” he said. “I mean, in our history, half the time surgery was done on the battlefield and- well, anyway. Seriously, Zim. I’m  _ fine _ . You’ve been using the antibiotic stuff on me, and it doesn’t even hurt much any more. I know my pain tolerances are pretty high, but...” He looked back at Zim. “What’s really bothering you?” 

The first, obvious, answer was that Dib still wasn’t himself- but Zim didn’t say that, because they  _ had _ covered that and moke poking wouldn’t help. “Zim is… not used to injuries taking this long.” Only that wasn’t fully it, and he could  _ tell _ that. “And humans are terrible. Except Dib. ...Human _ ity _ is terrible.”

“Zim,” Dib said quietly. “Is this because I died?” Zim’s lekku went flat, and he frowned as Dib looked back at him. “Or is it the dream thing? That’ll fade, right? You said it would.” He shifted, trying to touch Zim again while the Irken chirped unhappily. “You can tell me, or talk to me.” But Dib wouldn’t talk to  _ Zim _ and that wasn’t  _ fair _ .

“...Zim likes the dreams,” Zim answered, before shaking his head. “Not- not electric and restraints. But…” But the moments of being someone else were interesting, because it was Dib. Not that Zim had any clue how to even  _ start _ on explaining that one. “...And Zim… likes that Dib… also knows? Even if Dib cannot try a beach any more…”

Dib cocked his head to the side, then shook it. He seemed… relieved? “I… like it too,” he admitted. “Is that weird? Wrong? I don’t know. I worry, you know? I don’t want it to be weird for you. Or anything, and-” he paused, blinking. “No beaches, huh?” 

“Not weird. Dib… has always liked things no other human gets. ...Or species. Memories of Irk. Of  _ being _ Irken… Of course Dib likes.” And if he thought for a moment that Dib wouldn’t be horrified, Zim  _ might _ even offer to loan his pak again, just for a moment. Set things up so Dib would get more memories, maybe even chosen ones… Well, there were some of the errors he was said to have, Zim thought. He ran a hand through Dib’s hair before running it down to the human’s back. “Dib would have to explain this. That is all. ...Or a shirt, Zim  _ guesses _ .”

“I don’t have to explain anything to anyone,” Dib answered. “And you’re the only one that’s seen me naked in a long ass time.” He shrugged, then looked back at Zim, smiling gently, before touching one of the Irken’s lekku, careful and testing. “You know, not that long ago, if you said we’d be like this, I’d have laughed and thought there was no way.” 

Zim shivered just a little at the touch, before nuzzling in. “Zim would think similar. I was pretty sure Dib still wanted to see Zim’s guts…” He smiled, then bent in to kiss, because he  _ could _ . And it wasn’t like he suddenly didn’t want Dib, or anything Zim knew humans worried about.

He thought a moment, then half pushed Dib back. “Not anymore,” Dib agreed. “Not anymore, Zim. I already got to see more of you than ever expected, honestly. And… I think this is good for us both.” A moment later and the human grinned a bit. “Feeling better?” 

“Yes. Zim is feeling better. ...Could feel  _ even better _ , though…” Zim answered, going so far as to attempt to bat his eyes like he had seen in old earth media. Dib wouldn’t think any less of him- Zim actually doubted there was  _ anything _ he could say or do to make Dib think less of him, as long as he didn’t betray the human. And that wasn’t going to happen!

Dib laughed quietly. “Is that a request, Zim? You know how to be blunt, remember?” he teased, then wrapped arms around Zim, kissing him and humming. As he shifted again, Zim purred, lekku twitching as he considered his options. He licked his lips, still laughing, but not in a mean way. 

“Why practice something I know?” Zim asked, grinning. “Much more fun practicing new things. Especially when they make Dib-beast laugh…” He did like feeling Dib’s skin, or feeling the human inside him, and Zim wasn’t going to say it yet, but… Dib was easily his favorite person with which to have fun. ...And, really, in general.

Dib snorted. “It is so weird seeing you try to act coy,” he said. “I still can’t believe that you just got naked in front of me like you did, either. I nearly had a heart attack and it was so hard not looking, trying to be, you know,  _ respectful _ .” Even as he teased, his hands roamed.

“Dib should have looked. Zim is  _ amazing _ , a near  _ perfect _ example of superior Irken physiology!” Zim answered, laughing. “I did not mean to hurt your heart. Dib’s reaction  _ was _ amusing, though.” He really hadn’t thought that Dib would have reacted  _ that _ strongly, especially not considering how he had been as a child.

“Oh yeah,  _ amazing _ Zim, well I can look now, and taste.” Dib laughed again, rolling them until both were on their sides, his hands still rubbing and just moving gently. Zim churred, wiggling as he felt his pelvis warm and clench at the idea of more than just gentle touch like this. 

“Looking then would not have stopped looking or tasting now…” Zim pointed out, humming and tracing Dib’s skin, careful not to elicit the ‘tickled’ response. “Or stopped Zim’s looking or tasting. Mm… Does Dib  _ want _ to be tasted?” The idea of that was a bit daunting, still, but  _ so  _ worth it, even with the mess. Dib didn’t have any germs left that Zim hadn’t invited.

The human made a soft sound, then kissed Zim again. “If you would want to,” he said. “But as nice as being sucked off is, I also know some people, you know, don’t like it. Besides, I don’t mind just touching, too, and stuff.” He reached down, wrapping a hand around one of Zim’s legs, and humming. 

“Zim will not do with Dib something he does not want to do,” Zim promised, rubbing his leg against Dib’s own. “And you will not allow Zim to make Dib unhappy…” Which he  _ liked _ . Zim really liked knowing that either of them could just… say stop, and they would stop and not be angry.

“Yeah,” Dib agreed. He let Zim push him back down, kissing the Irken and humming quietly again. “Whatever you want to do, Zim. Kisses first, though? We both like those, and they’re nice.” He was already reaching up to touch a lekku, fingers sliding along the appendage delicately and making Zim whine at the sensation of pleasure. 

-

He pulled back after Dib half collapsed, mewling quietly and simply laying there. Zim smirked, and after a long moment, Dib opened his eyes again, face red as he watched Zim back. “Zim is impatient,” Zim said, still grinning as he moved back up the human to get a better look. But Dib simply pulled him in for more kisses. 

“Of course you are,” the human added after a moment more, chuckling quietly. 

“Zim is often impatient,” he agreed, kissing Dib again and pleased that neither of them minded their own taste. Not when it came to kisses, at least. “Dib makes it worth while,” he added, tracing Dib’s skin, and rubbing in places, because the human  _ had _ mentioned sore arms, and he actually didn’t even care if they did more, impatient or not.

Dib flushed brighter. “You’re going to actually make me get a big head,” he grumbled, though it was while tucking against Zim and running fingers down the Irken’s back, avoiding the pak easily. “Nap?” he asked a moment later. “Or another round?” 

“Dib could touch it. ...Though Zim can’t really… feel…” Zim murmured, before nuzzling into Dib. “Mmm. Nap. Heal. Then another round,” he declared a moment later, after a little thought. That sounded right.

Dib hummed in agreement, and Zim was extra pleased when he was asleep not long later, a nice weight against the Irken. They were both content, and Zim was very happy to relax, and enjoy, watching and purring quietly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As before, the missing smut is over on the companion story, Great Smut. Not much was taken out, though.


	7. Unapologetic Tremors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much what it says on the tin. It gets a little steamy near the end, but not enough for anything to be cut. And! We get more coverage of 'will'.

They had a total of two days to rest between the cave planet and the desert one. Dib didn’t bother to think of the planets by the actual names. He was still sore, though not nearly as much. Zim constantly worried and checked his healing injuries, while Dib himself felt… okay. He wasn’t good, but he wasn’t bad, either. He was okay. 

He was honestly more concerned, at the moment, with Zim’s not-really new obsession with chipping him. Dib did expect it was going to happen, and was honestly more surprised that it hadn’t already happened- it wasn’t like he hadn't had more than enough chances in the past! None of that really mattered right now, though, as Zim and Dib stood on a rock and looked out on, well. A dessert. It actually reminded Dib of how California or Nevada might have looked, before they went to shit.

It was hot, and Dib immediately shed his trenchcoat, attaching it to his backpack as he and Zim looked around. Red and Purple had paid for an extra kit for them, though Dib wasn’t so sure about it. His own ‘survival’ kit had come in handy before, though much of it needed to be dried after the last time. “Something tells me that there is something in this sand, ready to eat us,” he commented to Zim and while bending to inspect the sand. The rocks were spaced too well, and other teams were also spaced- it was too perfect and calculated. 

“Mm… Shall we let another team test it? Or does Dib-head have thoughts?” Zim answered, also looking between the rocks. There was the sound of a pak-leg shifting a bit, before Zim just hummed and clicked and sat back. “If it is running, Dib is being carried,” he warned, looking over the sand as well.

"If it is running, we will run together," Dib corrected. "Your pak legs would just sink in this, Zim, and I have more stamina." He looked around as he spoke, frowning and moving to another section of their rock. "Yeah, let one of the other teams try," he agreed. "Your Tallest gave us, ah, extras?" 

" _ The _ Tallest, since Dib is not expected to claim them," Zim muttered. "...Though humans have even managed to beat that. How? How does your  _ inferior _ -" He cut off with a click. "Yes. We are ahead in the race. We have extra. We can afford to wait." It wouldn't even have to be that long- Dib could see a team, jelly blob things, oozing down.

Dib glanced at him, chuckling quietly. “I should introduce you to giraffes,” he commented idly, collecting a bunch of rocks that were nearby. Zim was watching the jellys, anyway. After a moment more, the human returned, coat as a makeshift bag of the rocks. If there was something in the sand, they had more than one way of finding out, and finding it. 

The sand wasn't  _ moving _ , as far as Dib could tell. Looking over, the jellies were pulsating along, almost half-way to another rock. That was good in a way, but also irritating because it wasn't that helpful of information. "Look- there, Dib-thing, see?" Zim asked suddenly, pointing.

Looking at where Zim was pointing, Dib could see the sand shifting. Something was moving closer to the jellys. Dib moved on the rock again, crouching to get a better look. Whatever attacked them was thin and snake-like, the first jelly dragged down into the sand. Dib frowned at the sight, looking back at Zim and frowning. “They’re… familiar, I think…” he said. Zim scoffed, but Dib shook his head. “I mean it. Let me think a moment.” 

“Dib, how can they  _ possibly _ -” Zim stopped after that, though, hissing softly as the second jelly also went down. Those had been easily the slowes of the remaining races, so running from rock to rock was still a possibility. It also did seem they were safe on the rock, the sand raising and then collapsing as something moved below it, leaving a trench that was so shallow Dib had overlooked it.

_ Tulsa _ , Dib realized, looking at the trench. “ _ Tulsa _ ,” he said outloud. “And- and Perfection valley.” While Zim looked confused still, Dib moved to grab a few more rocks. “In the 80s and 90s, there were some desert towns out west,” he explained to Zim. “A bunch of people went missing- like half the town. They said that worms dragged them under the sand there but the towns managed to kill the ‘graboids’. What if some aliens were having a laugh and dropped a couple of these suckers off?” 

“That’s  _ foolish _ , there is no- Actually, no, that sounds like a Plokoosian idea of a laugh,” Zim said, thinking. “Or Colectarian. Okay, okay, so… Of course Dib is familiar with these. ...The towns killed them? Human- they didn’t just leave- of course not. How?” The Irken was literally buzzing as he thought, a whole range of sounds he usually held back.

“Explosives,” Dib answered. “Supposedly, they tricked a couple into eating small bombs. And one… they got to run itself off a cliff, somehow.” He rubbed his head, trying to remember details about that case and kicking himself for not taking more stock into it. “One of the people of that town became a monster hunter. I’m trying to remember what he said in interviews.” 

“Explosives are nice,” Zim commented. “There are a lot here, however. And we only have a few bombs between us. What are other options?” That was, of course, what Dib was trying to remember, but he didn’t bother pointing that out to Zim. “Outrun?”

Dib blinked, rubbing his face. “Let’s see… I remember something about sound. Damn it, what was it- right! They hunt by sound.” He looked down at the rock under them, then sighed. “And we are on rocks. That conduct sound. You have any thoughts?” 

“...Run?” Zim offered again, before shrugging. “...Deafen. Though… what will deafen them and not us?” He wasn’t even pretending that he was un-deafen-able, for once, but Dib had noticed that. Zim was less defensive lately, though by all appearances, only with him.

The human nodded, then went over to their bag of ‘extras’ in the center of the rock. “Well. Here’s this question,” he said. “How much explosives do we even have? We could run it and use them back and forth.” 

“Mm… ten? Dib assumes there is only one for us.” Zim looked at the sand, and Dib wasn’t sure exactly what he was seeing, but the Irken finally nodded. “Only one right now, Zim thinks. But more might come, easy.” Zim thought a moment more, then grinned. “Zim could go to the other side, throw some rocks, lure it. Run to Dib, let Dib carry us to the next big rock?” That did seem like it would give them the most advantage.

Dib nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “That sounds good,” he said. “Sounds as good as we are going to get, at least.” He poured the rocks into his backpack- they could be useful- and then attached his coat to it as well, before looking at Zim. “Let’s try it and find out, yeah?” 

“Dib get ready,” Zim ordered, before moving, as said, to the other side of the large rock. They had already secured everything useful, and soon there were a few thumps, fairly regular and rapid, then Zim was moving towards him. Dib turned his back, shifted to be ready, and was pleased that Zim caught on and clambered onto his back without hesitation, and then Dib ran. He had no idea if the thing had turned yet, moved yet, was coming for him yet- he just focused on the next outcropping and  _ went _ .

Above them, the announcer was excited, though Dib didn’t focus on the words, simply running as fast as he could. Something rumbled behind them, and Dib couldn’t be happier when the rocks were close enough to touch. Dib scrambled up, pushing Zim to get onto the rock. The Irken turned immediately, grabbing his hands and pulling Dib up. They both looked as a snake-like creature erupted from the sand a moment later, hissing and trying to grab at them. 

Zim hissed back, peeved and not hiding it. “No grabbing Dib away from the ledge  _ this _ time,” he clicked a moment later, in Irken, a sentiment that made Dib smile softly even if maybe he shouldn’t. “Okay. How is Dib? Maybe come away from the edge?” Zim said, moving closer to the middle of the outcropping before taking a better look around. There was a nice line of rocks, as near as Dib could tell, from here off towards the goal, and that made sense. Nothing had been  _ impossible _ , yet, just severely unfair.

“I’m fine,” Dib said, catching his breath and reaching out to touch Zim’s arm. He did move away from the edge, but went entirely to the other side, frowning at the sight of the sand moving there, following him. “Something tells me that this is going to not work every time,” he said. 

“...Why did they only trick two into eating the bombs?” Zim asked. Dib could follow, he thought- it was a question of intelligence- or else he was projecting his own thoughts, but either way. “Mm… What about frequencies? Zim can add sounds pretty easily…”

Dib looked at him, frowning. “I don’t know,” he said. “Something about losing all of their supplies. They were stranded on rocks like this, though…” He looked at the next rock outcropping, which was about the same length away. “Frequencies… yeah. We could try that, and see what happens.”

“Maybe… try running one more time? They got two. Zim could try throwing towards the Vort…” They were one of the three other teams left, and the closest, but still very far away. “Use these… ‘grabboid’s learning curve against them.”

“Yeah. There’s eighteen or so of the outcroppings left, right? If we can get though a solid chunk before using the bombs…” He stepped over, near the edge of the rock, then looked at Zim. “Let’s do it, before any of the other teams think of it.” 

“They have already  _ seen _ us,” Zim pointed out, before retreating to the rock-side closest to the Vort. This time he waited for Dib to give a thumbs-up, and then there were more thumps. A fair number more, faster- they sounded more like he had when running, Dib thought. And then Zim was hurtling towards him again, and Dib barely waited to be sure he was settled before taking off, glad he’d spent so long chasing the Irken when younger. It was helping now!

Whatever these creatures were- graboids- they were fast, and once again, they barely made it to the rock and up it before the snakes came from the sand, hissing and trying to climb the rock. One got a little closer to Zim than he was happy with, and on impulse, Dib punched it, pleased with the shrieking sound he got in return. 

“Of course the human punches it,” Zim muttered, but Dib knew him well enough to hear the satisfaction in his voice as well. “...How did Dib know where to stab in the caves? Zim has meant to ask.” And ooh, that had a whole range of answers, and Dib wasn’t actually sure how much sense they would make. It couldn’t be worse than his own confusion regarding the whole ‘will’ thing, though, probably.

Dib shifted, then shrugged. “I could see well enough, and knew how far away you were, and intuition…” He frowned, then looked down at the sand below. “Why do you ask?” he asked in return. “I mean, it’s just… I know how you fight, and everything.” 

“Dib was not fighting Zim. Zim could not see them…” Zim looked away for just a moment, though it was a little hard to tell. It was more a matter of his lekku shifting, his stance a moment. “And still Dib hit it first time.” He paused again, and then said something Dib  _ never _ expected. “I was proud. Am proud.”

“Thanks, Zim,” Dib said. He smiled a little, moving closer to nudge Zim with an arm, since he couldn’t exactly  _ kiss _ the Irken out in the open. It did make him happy to hear- very happy. Zim was prickly, or at least usually, and very specific. “Are you okay?” 

“Mm… the cameras are over there,” Zim answered, before shrugging. “So. Frequencies? Does the Dib-thing have any idea where to start? There are a  _ lot _ of waves.” Whatever had sparked the comment was, apparently, not Dib’s to know.

“Start mid-low, I think,” Dib said. He followed the line of sight to the cameras, then risked a quick peck to Zim’s cheek, before moving back to his bag. “Explosions are usually low and loud, right? So that would make sense.” 

The first sound made them both wince, and caused the grabboid snake things to writhe against the rock in a way that didn’t look promising. Zim dropped the pitch, and Dib wondered if it was maybe just not loud  _ enough _ , but he also wasn’t sure if he’d be able to deal with it being any louder.

He moved over to his backpack, intending to count how many rocks they had, and try to gather more. The human picked one up, only to freeze, blinking, as he felt the entire world rotate. Part of his brain knew it was Zim’s experimenting. That was why when Zim looked at him he waved a hand, kneeling to go through his backpack and hide how unsteady his legs suddenly were. 

If it kept the creatures away, Dib rationalized as well as he could, then it didn’t matter how much he could or couldn’t walk. Zim would carry him, and Dib would make it up, somehow. Maybe he’d even be polite the next time the stupid leaders called. Just… count rocks, right. And make more, maybe, it couldn’t be that hard to chip some of this bigger rock apart…

“Diblet?” Zim asked, suddenly. Dib looked up, and Zim was way too close to his face, as much as he sounded far away. The human blinked slowly, feeling dizzy. 

“Ye-aaaah?” he asked, his own voice sounding far away. 

“Has something made you  _ drunk _ ?” Zim asked, sounding fairly accusatory, one hand on Dib’s shoulder for reasons the human couldn’t work out. The sound had dropped to more of a  _ feeling _ by now, but things were still weird.

“Nooooo?” Dib answered. “But we should have a drink when we win. A nice bottle of something strong.” At least, that was what he meant to say. It came out halting and slowed, and he might have slipped into spanish at some points. “Hey, the freeeeequency stuff workinggggg?”

It cut out entirely, Zim frowning. “Sort of. Well enough maybe. Why is Dib-stink acting  _ drunk _ ?” The word, like before, was spit out as though it were a much worse word than it was, and then Zim was patting Dib’s face, before digging a bottle out of the backpack. “Water. Idiot Dib-moron…”

Dib blinked, then took the bottle, drinking and shaking his head. “Uhgh. What?” he asked. He had a minor headache now. “Sorry,” he said. “I think that frequency you were at was throwing off my equilibrium.” He drank more, rubbing his head still. “I wasn’t acting drunk,” he added, frowning. 

“Then high,” Zim suggested. “Zim could not even feel those. And Dib could not walk from them?” He seemed fascinated, though that could have just been from watching Dib drink. After a few more swallows, Dib handed the bottle back, and was treated to the rare-ish sight of Zim drinking actual water. Of course, Dib could  _ taste _ that it wasn’t as dirty as the water he was raised with…

“I act different when high, too,” Dib commented. He shook his head, then frowned. “But… yeah. That was weird. It was like my brain was melting and sound was… really weird. Ugh. I wasn’t  _ thinking _ .” He shifted, looking at Zim and pushing the Irken to drink more. He could see the Vortians setting up something, and sighed quietly. 

“Ugh. No melty brains. Zim will have to look into this.” He glanced at Dib, then added, “Pig-meat brain.” His look also promised that they were going to be talking about what Dib had said, too, but the human didn’t worry too much. “Perhaps we can use their action as distraction? How about earthquakes- do human brain-meats melt then?”

Dib rolled his eyes. “No, our brains don’t melt during earthquakes, Zim.” He looked at the Vortians again, then nodded. “Yeah, that could work,” he agreed. “They’re hammering over there. You think we could run now?”

Zim looked at the sand for a long moment before nodding. That was enough for Dib to scoop up the Irken and take off for the third time, and he felt  _ good _ about how much progress they were making. Yes, they’d already been on this planet for an hour or so, but they were more than a tenth of the way there  _ and _ he could breath on his own. Dib wasn’t taking that for granted any time soon.

They managed to get pretty far before Dib was starting to get tired. Zim was, too. He worried about dropping the Irken- and his worry came true when Zim’s own grip failed. They both landed in a sprawl, and Dib rolled. There was a flurry of motion, and the human immediately whistled for the creature, shoving Zim to get to the rock while he offered a distraction. Zim was slower, and would need more time to climb the rock. 

“Dib, you  _ ridiculous _ -” Zim instantly started, before making a high sound on the edge of Dib’s hearing, which did, at least, cause the creature to turn away from Dib. Dib tried to counter with another whistle, wishing he had thought to bring the dog-whistle he had bought to try on Gir, and the rocks  _ were _ right there.

“Go!” Dib said. “I can run faster,” he reminded in a scream whisper, right before taking off in another direction, towards more rocks. He ignored Zim’s yelling- they were headed in the same direction, anyway, so it didn’t matter. Glancing back, the human was relieved to see Zim hitting the rocks and climbing up, the graboid right behind Dib instead. 

Again, Zim made the high-pitched sound- well, his pak did, more accurately- and again the snake-like monster turned. Only for a moment, though, making a full circle, and Dib was  _ almost _ at the rocks when one of the mouths caught his shoe. Dib punched at it again, and kicked, and his free hand caught the rock, giving him leverage to pull.

As he scrambled up, he swallowed, panting and taking deep breaths. When he looked up and spotted Zim, the Irken was looking at him with nearly the same look they’d given each other when he was a kid- a look he hadn’t been on the receiving end of in years. The snakes reared up as he took a step back, looking for a way to get over towards Zim. “You okay?” he called. 

“Is Dib-moron  _ trying _ to die? There are easier ways to accomplish that, though perhaps your  _ inferior brain meats _ are too  _ lost _ in Dib’s  _ ridiculously big head _ to work that out!” Zim yelled back, adding a click and motion that the human was pretty sure translated out to something  _ very _ rude.

It actually hurt. Dib flinched, then scowled. “Fuck you too, Zim,” he muttered with a wave of his hand. Looking around, he sighed, and then glanced at Zim again, though the Irken was still glowering and Dib was kind of glad he was on a different rock. Even so, he sighed, moving to climb another near rock, and see if he could get to the next pile just by running. 

He could… maybe? Dib wasn’t sure, eying the distance and aware that he was getting tired. He didn't want to sleep, though- and Dib knew that he also didn’t want to sleep  _ alone _ , though he wasn’t in any mood to admit that. If they staggered rocks, Dib thought, maybe he and Zim could even get a good part of the way down, more than they had… Disorientation hit him again, and he realized Zim was back to playing with noise, though it was more tolerable from further away.

Dib shivered, frowning and forcing himself up, even with how loose and off he felt. Glancing at Zim again, he reached into his bag. Between the two of them they’d drank most of the bottle of water. Now, he finished it off and then climbed to the edge of a rock, quickly.

“Dib- don’t you _ dare _ !” Zim screamed as Dib moved. Dib didn’t listen, jumping and running, yelping a little as sand moved around him before realizing it was probably because of the low vibrations Zim was making. “Dib-stink, I swear by the Tallest, if you get eaten Zim will  _ murder you _ !”

He made it to the next section of rock, climbing up and perching at the top. Zim was still yelling from nearby, but Dib tuned him out as he worked on trying to fill his bottle with sand without being grabbed. The human did look up when he realized that Zim had stopped yelling, and shivered again. Oh, Zim was  _ not _ happy. 

“Will you  _ hold still _ and let Zim  _ catch you already _ ?” Zim ‘grumbled’, as much as he could while still being loud enough for Dib to hear. “Dib is  _ not allowed _ to get hurt being  _ foolish _ !” he snapped as well, shifting before, to Dib’s horror, darting onto the sand. The sound was probably helping, but it also made Dib feel sick, even from so far away.

Dib couldn’t even try to move while Zim was running, though he grabbed for the Irken and helped pull him up when Zim hit the side of the rock. The graboid rumbled, and they could see sand trails as the creatures moved in disoriented patterns because of Zim’s noises. 

Zim dropped the sound as soon as he was even sort of safe, patting Dib’s face and watching. “Is Dib _ quite _ done- You are not allowed to die!  _ Again _ . These  _ do not end you _ !” It was said quietly, a counter to Zim’s frown and obvious upset. “Dib tried to  _ call it _ …!” he added, chirping.

“Hey, Zim, it’s fine. I’m fine, see?” Dib was very confused, and it had to show. “I can run faster, and I was near another set of rocks, so… yeah, of course I called to it? I mean, plus, you know- yeah?” Zim didn’t know, that was more and more obvious. Dib sighed again. “Come on you used to call me a worm often enough, it’s about time I acted like bait,” he tried to joke. 

Zim made a couple of sounds before managing to speak. “These are not- not  _ sandfish _ ,” he said, lekku still… weirdly low and still. “...Dib  _ was _ near. Not near enough. Your foot-shoe is torn.” It was, though not so much that Dib couldn’t wear it. Still, he really,  _ really _ hoped this race was nearly finished- he was pretty sure they were down to  _ two _ other teams, but he hadn’t been paying much attention.

The cameras were still on the vortians, and Dib snuck another kiss. “It was good enough for me to get away,” he said firmly, before shaking his head again. “I mean it, Zim. I’m fine, it worked. And I’d do it again even if it didn’t work so let’s just move on. We need to get to a higher rock if we’re going to have to sleep out here tonight.”

“If it didn’t work, Dib-thing would be  _ dead _ .  _ Again _ ,” Zim pointed out, somehow managing to hiss in a sentence with no sibilants. “What higher rock are you thinking?” He  _ did _ relax at the affection, though Dib hadn’t missed how Zim had also looked around quickly. “And how? Explosive?”

Dib made a sound, then turned, gesturing at an outcropping that was two-thirds of the way between start and finish. “I was thinking, actually…” he held up the bottle, filled with sand. “I was thinking we could throw this far out with the top off. The sand would then spill out and give a distraction. But… I’m not sure. At least, that’s how I was going to get to you.” 

Zim paused, thinking, looking between the outcropping and them, and then back at the sand, before nodding slowly. “Yess… that may work. And we will be close, in any case. Or explosion, should the bottle not work enough…” He admitted, and Dib thought he had to have imagined the movement of lekku when he’d said he planned on getting to Zim.

The human nodded, then shifted. “We should go now, before it gets dark. If this is like any desert on Earth, it’ll be pretty chilly tonight.” He stood, and looked at Zim again, shaking the sand to make sure that it would pour out of the bottle. “Ready?” he asked, waiting for a nod before he threw it as hard as he could. The graboids didn’t budge.

Zim didn’t even  _ say _ anything, just looking at Dib- the human could  _ feel _ the eyes on him. There was motion, too, and Dib realized that Zim was casually toying with what he  _ knew _ was a decently strong Irken explosive. Dib also remembered watching Gir eat a few of those… “Does Dib deserve the honor…?” Zim ‘mused’, still looking at him, of course.

“Nah,” Dib said. “You’re already frustrated with me. You do it.” He grinned a bit, shaking his head and then looking out at the desert around them. “How strong is that gonna be?” he asked. It wouldn’t take long for them to run it, at least. 

“Eehh… There will be some glass? But no risk.” Zim looked between the rocks and the sand, picking the best angle, before pointing. “Zim will throw there. Dib-thing should cover your ears. So, probably not carrying Zim- we should have enough time?”

“Alright,” Dib agreed. He moved closer to the edge and did cover his ears. Still, he could feel it as Zim threw the bomb, and the explosion came a few seconds later, the graboids screaming as they ran away- and as the two ran towards the rocks. Zim reached first, climbing with his pak legs and then twisting to pull Dib up with him. There, they both were panting and looking down. 

“...Zim is so  _ tired _ of these  _ things _ ,” Zim grumbled, prowling around the outcropping, and then helping Dib get to a higher point. “...Dib is the one with the knowledge of camping. So, how is this done on rocks?”

The human looked at him, then opened his bag, fishing out the shims he’d managed, along with his lighter and knife. “Honestly?” he asked. “We just… try to stay warm and hydrated.” He started emptying everything he had, looking around. “Do you see anything else we can burn within reach?” 

Zim scuttled away in lieu of answer, coming back with a few mostly-dead plants that tried to grow in the pits of sand caught on the rocks. “There’s life outside this desert, of course. That is where the usual prey would live, Zim thinks. But there is nothing else here.” It wasn’t much in the way of burnables, and Zim frowned. “Curl around Zim. I will keep the fire alive. And we should wait to start it.”

Dib nodded, then moved to start trimming the shims into smaller pieces with his knife anyway. “We can plan while we wait for it to get darker,” he said. The cameras were back- Dib wasn’t sure when they’d shown up. But this would give him time to build a new spear- or maybe a bow instead. And he was hungry, too. 

“We… are most of the way there. Could maybe run two outcrops? There are maybe enough explosives…” Zim answered, frowning a bit. Dib wondered how much of the Irken’s armory was being used up just for this. Two outcroppings at a time… That would be awkward, Dib thought, but he might be able to do it…

Dib looked. “Are you thinking that we could try and run it now?” he asked. 

Again, it was clear Zim was thinking- and glancing out, where other teams  _ were _ ahead of them- before he shook his head. “Probably. But Dib-thing has already fallen. We will still win. One is behind us, so we will have time to rest.”

Dib felt guilty, looking down at the shims in his hands and then returning to his shaving of them. “Sorry about dropping you, by the way. You okay?” 

“Zim could have maybe done better grabbing,” Zim answered, waving a hand. “But no matter. Zim is fine. Rest, Dib-beast. We do not get eaten.” He reached out, patting Dib’s hand gently, and the human realized Zim probably had been less  _ angry _ and more  _ afraid _ .

After a moment, Dib reached out again, himself. “Hey,” he said quietly, as the cameras realized that the two were staying put for a while. “Did it really upset you that much that I played bait?” he asked.

Zim bristled a moment, then drooped. “Not… playing bait. But Zim… was unsure of Dib’s will,” he admitted, quietly. “...And angry, that Dib would be so  _ foolish _ . But it was… fast…” There was ‘will’, again, but Dib thought he actually understood this time. Zim thought that it could literally ward off or forbid death, it seemed, and… Dib kind of thought he had maybe stumbled his way into whatever theology, aside from height, that Irkens could be said to have.

Dib blinked, then glanced around, setting his knife and wood down, and kissed Zim again. He was starting to understand it a little more. “You worried I’d let it eat me,” he supplied. Zim glowered, and Dib sighed quietly. “Aw, Zim. Hey. I’m not going to ‘let’ anything happen to me, okay?” 

“Dib-stink already let himself drown!” Zim answered, once again somehow hissing through more of the sentence than should be possible. “You are  _ lying _ !” That was the normal, almost instinctual retort, and Dib tried not to smile at hearing it. “We do not  _ end here _ ,” he added, and it was noticeable that Zim had never actually denied being upset.

“Zim… I guess we need to have a talk about that, don’t we?” But not right then, and not at all in that moment. Dib sighed, taking a breath and then shaking his head. “Listen, okay? I promise you that while we’re here, I won’t let anything happen to me.” Not that Zim was inclined to believe him, all things considered. 

“Talks,” Zim huffed, but it wasn’t entirely disagreeing. “...Race or planet?” he added, searching Dib’s face, and the human could  _ feel _ his gaze, practically feel the doubt. “You are Zim’s  _ enemy _ . ...Friend. Whatever!” But he was relaxing more, maybe even  _ kind of _ believing Dib.

“Planet?” Dib said. He huffed quietly, then looked away, uncomfortable with the scrutiny about his desire to live. “Zim, enemies don’t fuck,” he half hissed, half muttered. Zim’s lekku twitched, and Dib sighed. “Not like we do, anyway.” They were practically more than friends. Dib didn’t know how to handle that. 

“...Well. Fight in the base. Teeth and claws and  _ fucking _ …” Zim murmured in reply, purring the words and making it quite clear that the suggested actions would be welcome. Then he sighed, twitching a shoulder up. “And other times… quiet. Soft. ...Or worshipping your unquestioned ruler. ...Proving why  _ you _ won…”  _ Roleplays _ , Dib realized, and wondered if that was an Irken thing, or a Zim thing. “Mm… but probably not talk too much right now…” Zim added, shifting a bit. At least they were both having the same problem.

“Talk later,” Dib agreed, sighing and pausing in his shaving of the wood to create a little round on the large rock with his smaller ones for making the fire when they did. It was already getting cooler. And wordlessly, he handed Zim his coat. “Once we get done with this race. Finish. Win. Have a nice bottle of booze.” 

Zim nodded, sitting on the edge of Dib’s coat and clearly trying to leave enough to help cover the human, as well as shield him from the rock. It would only work if Dib was mostly on Zim’s lap, but that wasn’t the weirdest thing any more. “Booze. Tattoo later. Zim can even disable  _ that _ filter,” he agreed, and the evidence of plans past the end of this seemed to relax him even more.

They stayed like that until it started getting dark and Dib started a little fire for them both. Zim stayed very close to it, Dib wrapping around him and with the coat over them both for the night after they ate some snack rations and settled in. The night was as cold as Dib worried about, though they slept alright still despite that or the rock. 

At some point, after the fire had gone out, it seemed that Zim had rolled onto the remains, likely seeking the warmth. He was grumbling and hissing at the char now, rubbing his skin and frowning. Dib found a spare cloth and offered it to the annoyed Irken, who then started doing his best to clean while Dib started on breakfast. Around them, the graboid still circled, snake-heads scrambling on the rock but not reaching high enough to threaten them.

“Looks like it is getting angrier,” Dib commented, frowning. “Wanna try and get it to eat a bomb? That could work double duty…” He sighed a little, then went to take care of morning business, annoyed when he couldn’t even do that without the damn creature following. When he came back, slathering sanitizer on his hands, Zim was glowering at their meager supplies. 

Zim had nodded before business, and Dib wasn’t really surprised to see him handling another bomb, very casually, as he glowered. “Zim attached a beacon to this, and set to remote. It  _ should _ cause eating. Explosion either way. So… if there’s a bloody rain, keep running?” For all that he had said there would likely be more than one, it seemed that these graboids  _ claimed _ their hunt, or something- there was in fact just the one trailing them, and Dib was fairly sure it was the same one.

Dib hummed. “Yeah, I think that if we are that lucky, running would be good.” He crouched down, examining the bomb. “I’m going to look forward to a nice bed,” he commented, chuckling. “Food first, Zim. You should eat too.” 

“Yes, yes, Zim is eating,” he agreed, waving his hand and frowning just a little before starting in on the sweeter things, packed for him. They weren’t quite as sweet as everything Zim had eaten initially, Dib noticed, and they were in the ‘healthier’ category for humans- as treats. It was… cute, maybe.

Dib laughed quietly. He sipped at one of the last remaining bottles of water before passing it to Zim after he was done. “We should get done before afternoon,” he said. “The vortians are neck to neck with us, but there’s still one team pretty far behind it looks like.” 

“Good, more rest. Unless they get themselves eaten,” Zim agreed, taking just a sip of the water. He shook his head at Dib’s look, shifting enough to show his pak. Clearly, the Irken felt he had enough water in his system for now- and remembering how little he’d needed when Zim was just  _ ‘filtering _ ’ for him, Dib tended to agree.

Dib sighed a little, sipping more and then shifting to look out, for either of the remaining teams curiously. “Right,” he said. A few minutes later Zim was holding the bomb and Dib was ready to go. The Irken offered it to him. Dib carefully took it, chucking it as hard as he could away from them. 

They watched for a long, breathless moment, until the sand began to move again, towards the bomb. There was more motion, from further away, as the beacon enticed another graboid, but the bane of  _ their _ existence was closer, and soon was wrapping tendrils around the small object. Zim waited a moment more, until it was down, and then Dib was off and running, carrying Zim as the Irken detonated the bomb, and they were in fact close enough that orange blood and guts rained down.

Zim made a  _ sound _ that Dib wished he could have recorded. In that moment, he ran past the rock outcropping they’d aimed for, to the second one, taking advantage of the extra time. It was useful, and although another creature appeared, snakes rising against the rock, Dib was glad. He gulped air, glancing down at the thing. 

Zim patted him, nodding a bit. “We are getting closer. But that probably will not work again. How is Dib?” He frowned looking down at the creature, using a pak-leg to chip off a rock and throwing it at the graboid in anger. There was no effort to eat the rock, just proving how useless that was now.

“I’m good,” Dib said. He was sore, especially the still healing places from the last planet. Dib was pretty sure they were bleeding again a bit. He ignored it in favor of looking at the Irken, then towards the place their goal was supposed to be. It could be seen a few rocky outcroppings away. “How many bombs do we have left?” he asked. 

"Mmm… Five. But Zim thinks they are recovering faster? Or going deaf…" Only they still could hunt just fine- not deaf, then, Dib thought. But they were so close… if they only had a few more tries, that might still be all they  _ needed _ .

Dib frowned. “Damn. And of course we don’t have anything we can use to pole-vault.” He sighed a little, then looked at Zim again. “Do you want to try blowing another one up? I’ve got para-cord. We could simulate the thing moving- throw it and start dragging it back?”

“Pole-vault? No, no poles…” Zim said, frowning. “Dib thinks cord will work? But… it will sacrifice a lot of cord. Is that best?” Another long dash, and then just shorter ones, that might be enough as well, Dib thought.

“I have plenty,” Dib answered, taking off one of his para-cord bracelets and working to untie and unwrap it. “I don’t know if it’s super worth it, but… we can try it. I can make more of these, anyway.” Zim was making faces again, and Dib smiled a little, dropping the clips into his bag as he unwrapped them. 

The cameras were back as Zim started modifying another of his bombs and Dib dismantled the bracelet. That seemed to  _ really _ interest the cameras, and Dib held the cord up to another, still in bracelet form, showing off just a bit. As much as he was busy, and irritated about the whole race and being kidnapped, it was… kind of nice, in a way, to have the attention, and Zim assured him it was positive.

“Here,” he said, handing Zim the rope when he had finished taking it apart. “It’s thousand-pound test, so it can handle pretty strenuous tugging.” He waved at the camera again to move away from Zim while the Irken tied things in place, picking up stones and throwing them to get one of the creatures into a spot they wanted it to be. 

The maneuvering only sort of worked, the creature only lazily following. Dib glanced up, catching an aerial shot of the distance between them and the goal, and promptly tried to ignore it. It looked so much larger that way than it did just looking out at it. Zim threw the explosive, waiting a moment and watching, tugging slowly and rhythmically until it was, again, taken.

He actually was able to yank the rope back as it was cut, salvaging it and wrapping it around himself as they both ran to the edge of the rock, Zim jumping onto his back as he started to run to a new outcropping. As they climbed this one, the snakes didn’t pop out of the sand, a full worm like creature did, the snakes as its tongue. On automatic, Dib kicked it in the face, and they pulled back. 

“...Keep on as we are?” Zim asked after a moment more, patting Dib and staring at the hole the creature had made. “...Zim… could try calling, and staying. Maybe an explosion, get Dib ahead. Call when you’re on the sand, drive away when I am… They haven’t seemed to stop reacting to those…” Zim didn’t want to, it was clear, and Dib didn’t fully want to either. He didn’t like the idea of being so far apart, or trusting something so uncertain.

“I think we should try to get as far as we can without that,” Dib said. “I really don’t like the idea of them all coming towards you or anything or running without you.” He looked down, then huffed. “How many more of these things do you think are left?” he asked. 

Zim made a disdainful sound and swept his hand at the whole desert. “Thousands, at least. In this patch, tens to hundreds. Unless you mean rocks, in which case even  _ Dib’s _ eyesight should be enough to count them.” He paused, looking up. “Why  _ is _ human eyesight so- ah, later. And Zim can fix it.”

Dib sighed quietly. “I meant the damn worms,” he said. “Ugh.” He shifted, stretching and standing more fully. “We only have four bombs left, so…” He frowned, “Damn,” he said, looking around again, and at Zim. “Let’s try and make it to the next outcropping without a bomb, I think? Or do you want to keep using this method until it doesn’t work?”

“...We can try. But Zim will have a bomb ready,” Zim said, unhappily. “Better to save resources.” Dib smiled just a little, glancing around and then resisting the urge to reach out and pet Zim- the cameras were too close. Maybe they could grab one of those for supplies if needed.

They barely made it through, and all of their bombs were gone by the time they hit the last outcropping before the stage. Dib really hated it, but Zim’s plan to use the soundwaves was the best one- the only one- left. The relief when it worked was enough that he’d have collapsed if he hadn’t already. 

They were safe now, safe for a little while, and Dib was quite honestly considering hunting down the remaining teams on the next planet, just to  _ end _ this, as much as he knew he never actually would. He wanted to go  _ home _ , and rest- and yes, wander over to Zim’s base, even spend the night with the Irken, just not  _ here _ .

He didn’t argue about showering together with Zim again, too sandy and dirty and  _ sore _ to consider things that he should be concerned with. And as sore as he was, kissing Zim in the shower was something he was also glad to be able to do. 

“...Zim worried,” the Irken allowed when they were warm and safe, wrapped together under a blanket. “...And Dib is injured again.” He touched over the re-scabbed shot-mark. It  _ had _ reopened, as Dib had thought, but it wasn’t more than surface level now, honestly not much worse than a scraped knee.

“It’s nothing,” Dib answered, shifting so that Zim could stretch out on him. For all that the Irken got upset at being called a lizard, he certainly seemed to like soaking up Dib’s body heat. “...I’m not sorry for what I did,” he said. “You want to talk now?”

“...Zim would… not expect Dib to be sorry.” Zim paused, then smiled a little. “Dib is never sorry. It’s good.” It was another reminder that Zim wasn’t human, didn’t even have the same values, as much as that was all obvious. And yet, it worked… “Talking is… wise. Yes.”

Dib sighed, then shifted, wrapping arms around Zim. “You should start,” he said. “Because I’m not… entirely sure about what to say, or how to explain some things to you. But I want to. I really want to… help? So that you don’t worry like you have been.” 

Zim watched, thinking, before giving an awkward little nod. “Dib… let himself- you died. And-” He shook his head, lekku lashing a bit as he worked out words. Zim wasn’t very good with words, Dib knew, and he never had been. “Zim… knows Dib didn’t… want? But you didn’t… fight it. The moment you started talking, Zim felt how wrong it was. And- and Dib is doing better now! Zim knows! But in the desert…” Everything was on the edge, of accusations and screaming, and even with both of them trying to avoid that, it was so close, would be so easy.

“In the desert, you thought I was giving up again,” Dib said. Zim nodded, and the human sighed quietly. “In the cave, it was… it wasn’t giving up,” he said. “But I was tired, and cold, and it was that I was sure I was going to die. I mean, you hadn’t seen the ledge yet, and I could feel that thing getting a better hold on me more and more often. So…” 

“But it  _ was _ . It was giving up, it was  _ accepting _ … Not as possible but as  _ definite _ ,” Zim insisted, pale and a little cooler, responses Dib had seen before, and knew meant fear, worry, concern. “...Or… did Dib… know, maybe- deep, in your pants… That Zim would not allow that?”

Dib blinked. “Deep in my pants?” he asked. “Acceptance is not giving up, Zim,” he said, anyway. “In this case, I really did think that if I died- when I died, you would want to know why I was, as you called it,  _ weird _ .”

“Yes. And Zim still wants to hurt them,” the Irken agreed. He clearly didn’t understand the distinction that Dib was drawing, but he seemed mostly willing to accept it, for now. “But Dib needs to  _ not _ give up. Death is not- not allowed!” That was the main point, clearly. After seeing Dib ‘give up’ once, Zim was clearly aware it could happen again, no matter that it  _ wouldn’t _ .

Dib shook his head. "I can't promise things," he started, "but I can say I feel… better. I'm not going to give up on you, okay? Not during this race or anything." 

Zim was still frowning, uncertain, but he did nuzzle into Dib. “Or  _ anything _ ,” he repeated, insisting, glaring at Dib. The fading pak-memories were strong enough that Dib knew better than to take this lightly, but he wasn’t inclined to anyway. “And Zim will not give up on Dib. But you knew that.”

“Of course you wouldn’t give up,” Dib said. “You are way too stubborn for that!” He grinned a moment later, kissing the Irken and squeezing his arms. It was an utter risk, flipping them in the bed so that he could crouch over Zim, but it was worth it to get the litany of Irken curses and hissing. 

“Un _ hand _ me, Dib-stink!” Zim spat, but he was clinging too tightly for Dib to actually  _ believe _ the implicit threat. Especially based on some of the other things that Zim had suggested- he wondered if ‘friends’ actually was the right word, but he wasn’t going to spend much time thinking about that. Not now, for sure!

“Do you really want me to do that?” Dib asked, taking advantage in that moment to open his mouth and wrap it around one of Zim’s lekku. “Something tells me otherwise,” he added, pulling back a moment to check. But Zim was already smelling like arousal, and wiggling in the bedding. 

“Dib does not seem to  _ need _ hands for this…” Zim answered, not quite a challenge- more a bad cover for his want, to appease nothing more than his own pride. “Mm… Dib is  _ Zim’s _ .” And oh, that was new, in several ways.

“Absolutely yours,” Dib agreed, despite the worry about admitting that, licking his lips and more firmly pinning Zim’s wrists with a hand. It made the Irken whine, even as the human went back to sucking at lekku, reaching down with his free hand to test and tease. 

That got more whines, more clicks and chirps, and Dib had to admire how Zim’s back arched for the pak but the Irken didn’t even care. It made quite the enticing picture, though, and Dib moaned as he felt the wetness already on Zim’s skin.

He moaned as he realized just how wet and needy Zim was. “Mine,” he dared to say back, startled as Zime mewled and clicked. 

“Yes- yesyesyes!” Zim agreed. The chittering became chirping, creaking and regular, a natural extension of the sounds. Dib kissed Zim just as needy, and Zim whined, shaking and clinging. A moment more and Dib slumped to the side, kissing Zim. Zim started purring, wriggling a bit and clearly enjoying himself. The human chuckled when, after a moment, Zim smacked his arm. “Dumb human,” he grumbled. “Of course Zim is yours too.” 

He hadn’t expected that, of course. Dib hadn’t even been sure if Zim could hear, when he’d said it. And… Zim looked so  _ pleased _ … “Dib knows Zim too well to look so surprised!” Zim said, still grumbling. “When has Zim ever held any of himself back from Dib-thing?”

“You’ve never held back,” Dib said. “But… you know?” Zim’s face said he did  _ not _ know and Dib shifted, fingers trailing down the Irken’s back. “Sometimes, it is a thing to say someone is yours, but not want them to say it back. I don’t know, are Irken friends like this? Because… the way you act is beyond ‘friends with benefits’ really. The way we  _ both _ act.” 

“Mm… this, no…” Zim agreed, lekku back as he chilled. Just for a moment, before nuzzling into Dib. “Zim is… not the most proper Irken… And Zim is… happy with this.” He paused again, and then spoke very lowly, the quietest Dib had heard in private. “Zim’s will… may be to keep Dib happy now…”

Considering what else Zim had said about ‘will’ and what that meant to the Irken, Dib went quiet for a long moment. “Maybe that’s mine, too?” he said, eventually. “I mean… maybe my will is to keep you happy? Assuming I understand the idea and everything…” They fit together, and even both had personalities that went together…

“Dib could try getting more pak-memories…” Zim muttered. “But… Zim thinks Dib understands enough…” Which was good, because there was  _ no way _ Dib was going to allow the first suggestion.

“As much as I want to know better, and understand you, Zim, I have a feeling that I would say no, absolutely not.” Dib said. He nuzzled into the Irken, chuckling quietly as an idea popped into his head. “Hey, maybe I should get something Irken for my next tattoo,” he said. “Is that sacrilegious or bad in your culture?” 

"We don't tattoo," Zim pointed out, giggling- and moving against Dib. "Zim will help. Dib-beast could start a trend." He paused, looking at a hand. "Though… tattoos might not work on Irken skin. Hm." He shrugged, then squirmed again, deliberately.

Dib snorted. “You wouldn’t be the one getting a tattoo, you silly thing,” he said, shivering and letting out a small sound as Zim squeezed around his cock. “Cheater,” he added, teasing and kissing Zim again. 

"Means there are no cultural assumptions, silly," Zim answered, squeezing again. "Zim is not a  _ cheater _ . I just know how to have fun." He winked, and it was still a little odd to see the humor on his face, and to not be  _ worried _ about it. The only thing Dib was worried about was having enough time to rest.

The human shivered and kissed Zim again, laughing quietly when Zim rolled them over this time, pinning Dib down. “How to have fun,” he said teasingly, reaching up and touching Zim’s arms. “Mm. This  _ is _ fun, too. He touched Zim’s back, just taking a moment to trace and enjoy. 

Zim stretched under the touch, smiling. "Dib can explore better later. I can do longer in my lab…" he promised, before bending to kiss Dib again, just a hint of teeth making it interesting.

The human laughed quietly, kissing back and grinning. “More time for games, too?” he asked, teasing. Zim chirped. “You were really interested in that, on the rocks. Is that common for Irken people, too?” 

“Mmm… Sometimes. Not… always talked about and planned like Zim knows Dib will do.” He chilled just a tiny bit, then shook his head. “Maybe Zim will get Dib on his table after all?” Zim grinned again, then nipped at Dib’s collarbone.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Dib teased. “Me at your mercy for anything you’d want…” The idea terrified him in a lot of ways, after spending so long kept restrained and unable to function. But this was Zim, and Zim… the alien was someone he trusted, the  _ only _ one he trusted. 

Zim moaned softly, rocking. “Yees… only able to moan and beg. Maybe not even that…” Zim agreed, breathing faster at the thought. “But… does Dib think I am  _ merciful _ ? Have you forgotten how  _ selfish _ Zim is?” Oh, and Zim was almost scary, the tone and expression so much that would have been terrifying before.

Dib moaned back, grinning and arching up, against the Irken. “Very selfish,” he agreed. “But selfish and mine, too.” He gripped Zim’s hips, helping to rock the Irken as he moved. As they rocked together, he shifted, dragging Zim down for another kiss that was half biting and nipping. 

  
“Zim is Dib’s,” Zim agreed when the kiss broke. It was nice, really nice, hearing the simple agreement, even after it had already been given. Dib was proud at how pleased he was making Zim, his-  _ partner _ would work, probably, or just  _ his _ .


	8. She doesn’t want fed, she wants to hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And with this, the race comes to an end.

“Just three of us left,” Dib commented. He looked around, and Zim twitched, frowning up at the sky above them, the clouds angry and dark- bloated with water and about to burst. The human turned, frowning and watching as the jungle in front of them got closer. They were in a field, and the announcer was droning on. 

“This will likely be the last. We may be able to  _ make _ it the last,” Zim answered, though he wasn’t sure Dib would actually like that. His Dib was perfectly willing to  _ fight _ , and was amazing at it, but actively seeking out someone who wasn’t planning to equally actively hurt him was almost certainly not his style. Even when he’d been hunting Zim, he had never really  _ hurt _ the Irken when humiliation would do, and usually he just went after other targets. And, of course, the chances were high that there wasn’t any need to hunt, not given how the race usually went.

“Lets see what’s going on, first,” Dib said, eyes on something in the tree line. “Something about this… I don’t like it.” The human bent, taking his knife from his boot, and then went straight again, eyes still on the patch of jungle. 

“Of… course not? There are always monsters, Dib-beast…” Zim pointed out, though he kept it soft, as still as Dib, looking for whatever the human saw or felt- For all Zim had asked how Dib had known where to stab, his pak already had that answer. Humans were just weirdly good at knowing that stuff, still very close to the animals they had been in many ways, and Zim was willing to trust it was happening again.

Dib frowned. “No, this is different,” he said. “We’re already being hunted by something smart. Smarter than the things last time. They’re watching already.” He frowned, still not looking at Zim. “They want to play with us.” 

“Like you did when we met?” Zim asked, looking around and  _ still _ not able to pick up on whatever Dib had. He couldn’t even get a heat signature or anything! “What are options?” And then, because it was  _ Dib _ , and humans were  _ weird _ , Zim offered, “Talk to them?”

“More murderous than us, but yeah. We need to get cover,” Dib answered. “I don’t think talking will work.” He paused, then spoke again, softer. “Do you see any over near us, Zim?” he asked. “Anything we could use to climb?” Zim chittered quietly, looking around. He’d never seen Dib so still. 

“Zim sees  _ nothing _ ,” Zim answered, lekku flat. Then, “Tree, thirty degrees right. Or stay to open areas? They seem to be hiding…”

“Should we count? Or- no, nope. Go, run!” Zim took off, Dib right next to him. When the Irken turned, he saw blurry fast shapes running towards them, large and screeching or howling. They hit the tree and he used his pak legs to pull up, into a branch, turning to help Dib as well. “Keep climbing,” the human said, breathless and looking back, at the creatures that were already close. 

Once they were high enough, Zim and Dib took the chance to look at the creatures. They looked, to Zim, like feathered lizards, similar in ways to both the species he had seen on earth. Or even a little bit like an ostrich, maybe, if its legs and neck and tail were three times as wide and its mouth full of teeth.

“It looks like a dinosaur,” Dib said. “But…” he shifted, leaning out to get a better look, but then pulling back when one jumped towards him. Zim frowned, and the human went on. “Yeah, it looks like a Utah raptor. Well. Now we know where the fucking dinosaurs went from Earth.” 

“... _ From _ Earth?” Zim asked, shifting to get a different view. “... _ How _ did humans survive with these things around? Why haven’t you told Zim about them before? Were you afraid I’d find a way to resurrect them and set them loose? Would Dib-thing mind if I did that now?”

Dib looked at him. “They were before humans,” he said. “Way before, millions of years back. They went extinct or evolved to different things before humans evolved!” He huffed a little, then added, though he was amused. “We are not Jurassic Park-ing the Earth! For fucks sakes, Zim.” 

“So, you don’t know how to fight them. But really, why not- eh, I guess if they’re here, they wouldn’t be anything new, would they?” Zim answered, but he was pleased to have gotted a sort of laugh. “...Please tell me we aren’t running from tree to tree. That’ll be harder than the rocks!”

“I don’t think so,” Dib said. He moved, reaching into his bag for the ‘bow’ and arrows he’d made. There were cameras around, and he aimed, the creature below hit hard and sent sprawling and screeching, blood running from it down. 

“There’s probably more than these,” Zim pointed out, as another ‘raptor’ hissed and seemed to try running  _ up _ the tree. It failed, much to Zim’s relief.

Dib frowned, nodding. “These are small,” he said. “And if they have them, then…” there was a roar out in the field a moment later, the ground shaking with movement. “Shit. I am torn between being excited, and horrified.” 

“Oh, good, Dib-beast knows what this exciting new death-monster is too. So, are we going to run, or watch?” Zim asked, aware that he sounded utterly calm. Honestly, as excited as he had been at the start of this race, he was  _ over _ it.

The vortians came into view before Dib could answer, running from the beast behind them. It towered over everything, and he could hear Dib’s intake of breath, soft and amazed. “Tyrannosaurus rex,” he said. “We should stay. They attack movement.” Below, the raptors were chirping and looking out at the other creatures. They took off into the jungle a second later, while Zim swallowed hissing in annoyance. 

“Could we manage to use it to hide and stay safe? Herding?” Zim asked, softly, before blinking and looking at Dib. It wasn’t really a surprise when the jealously popped up, because his human wasn’t giving  _ him _ that look right now! Zim pushed it down, because he  _ knew _ that Dib at least trusted Zim not to try killing him any more!

Dib nodded and luckily he didn’t seem to notice. “We could,” he said. “I mean… I think so?” He looked down, then back to the beast, flinching as one of the Vortians became a snack for the creature. As he did, he swallowed, taking a breath and then starting to climb down. “Let’s go, before it finishes eating and sees us.” 

“It was quick,” Zim commented, because while  _ he _ didn’t- well. Honestly, he cared about Vortians more than he did any other race that wasn’t his own, but he also didn’t care nearly as much as Dib did, and that made sense. “And… that means it’s just one other team now,” he added, as they made their way down, on the other side of the trunk from the Tyrannosaurus.

They started walking, quickly but as quietly as they could be. “If they have those dinosaurs, I’m worried about what others they may have,” Dib whispered. “T-rex is most famous, but there are bigger and scarier fossils of ones that have been found…” He glanced behind them, bow and arrow at the ready. 

“Bigger?” Zim asked, following along and listening. At least the big things were  _ loud _ . The raptors had also made sounds, maybe enough for Dib or himself to react and save themselves. Not that they were going to die- Zim still refused that- but hurt was a possibility. They would manage, of course, but Dib would  _ complain _ if he was missing a limb. No matter that Zim could give him a better one!

Dib nodded, and as they reached the edge of another field, they were faced with more beasts. Zim was in awe of the creatures, numerous of which towered above them with long necks and tails, while others were armored, covered in horns, spikes, and other protrusions. “Herbivores,” Dib said, also looking in awe. 

“...Beautiful…” Zim murmured, willing to be truthful with Dib. He grinned then, tugging at Dib’s hand. “Can we ride them? Get closer, at least. Diblet… works closer with animals than others…” It wasn’t a human trait, Zim knew, though it also wasn’t  _ solely _ something Dib did. Still, those armored things looked safe enough for a ride, if they could just get  _ on _ them.

“Well, let’s try and find out,” Dib agreed. The biggest of the beasts didn’t even look at them as they entered the field, and a few looked, but otherwise didn’t react either. “They’re… they’re like big cows…” he said. Cameras were nearby, and the beasts that were smaller, armored, seemed to notice, moving closer to them. “I wonder if they recognize those because of the race, or being fed,” he said. 

“I assume we’re going for the armored ones? Zim is… not sure how to get  _ up _ one of the… really… really… tall ones…” At least not in any way that wouldn’t leave the dinosaur bleeding and easy prey, which would counter the whole reason to ride one.

Dib nodded, looking up at the tall ones again, but then back at the horned things that were coming closer to them. “Yeah,” he said. “Probably safest, right?” He looked at Zim, and then the creatures, before reaching into his bag to take out a snack, holding it out enticingly. 

It gave a sound that really  _ did _ sound very much like a cow, sniffing at the snack and Dib before biting at the snack. Zim stiffened at that, not liking the way the plated mouth got so close to Dib’s hand. Not that he couldn’t fix it, but it was scary.

The human looked at Zim. “You wanna try and climb on while it’s distracted?” he asked. Zim did  _ not _ , but he moved anyway, surprised that the creature barely moved beyond grunting and snuffling. While it finished eating, Dib joined him, and Zim huffed as he tried to direct the creature to move in the direction they wanted. 

That was… distinctly  _ less _ of a success, but Dib at least seemed content at the moment, patting the dinosaur- as well as prodding it a bit as well. They got another weird bleating moo for their trouble, and Zim was trying to decide if  _ really _ hitting it would get movement or just anger.

“Do you think a pak leg would stretch out far enough to be in front of it?” Dib asked, opening another snack package and tying rope around it from one of his weird bracelets. “We could lure it that way.” 

Zim blinked, thinking, before shifting to be in front of Dib. “It should. ...Won’t it get annoyed at not being able to eat the snack? Or one of the others will try…” Still, he slipped a leg out, chuckling a little when Dib reached for it. “Not scary any more, Dib-thing?”

"Well, let's find out," Dib answered, before grinning and wrapping his arms around Zim. "Not scary," he agreed, glancing at the cameras behind them. "You have had plenty of opportunities to use them against me," he added. 

“Mm… maybe  _ on _ , at some point…” Zim commented, before taking the snack on a string and extending a leg out, tempting the creature. “...How fast do these go, Dib-thing?” Zim turned a little, grinning. “Might be an excuse to hold to  _ me _ , Zim!”

Dib laughed, kicking his legs to make the lumbering beast start running. “I don’t know how fast they can go, Zim. Let’s find out!” He squeezed his arms around the Irken, still laughing as they made the beast run faster still, galloping across the field. 

It wasn’t a  _ comfortable _ ride, with the promise of horns at any wrong move, and even trying to hold on to them was only somewhat helpful. The dinosaur undulated, jarring their bones with each cycle, and the beast’s herd-mates were following, all bellowing and groaning around them. It wasn’t comfortable at  _ all _ \- but Zim would be lying if he said it wasn’t fun, and Dib was laughing like he hadn’t since skool.

The cameras were there too, and that definitely signalled that they were on the right track. Dib turned as they got the creatures close to the edge of the field, squeezing Zim again. “The raptors are back,” he warned. And indeed, the creatures were running towards them. 

“They outrun this. But we are in the middle, so… good for now,” Zim said, mostly just observations- and the creature had apparently noticed the raptors as well, bellowing and not even looking at the bouncing snack any more. They were still going in the right direction, at least.

The creatures they were on bellowed and stamped their feet, and the raptors moved, running and trying to find an opening, though there wasn’t one. They shared looks with each other, and then wordlessly, Dib took out his bow. How he was trying to aim while they bounced around, Zim had no clue. 

All Zim could honestly do was hang on, and hold Dib on, and he buzzed in surprise as an arrow flew past. It was an even bigger surprise when it  _ hit _ , catching a raptor on the flank. It wasn’t enough to take the creature down, or scatter them, though, and the next shot went wide, missing everything.

Dib cursed, but the next arrow managed to catch one of the creatures in the throat. It fell into another, tripping and screeching as it started to die. 

Zim couldn’t help it, and he didn’t try very hard, cackling manically as the wave of armored dinosaurs didn’t even bother to try going around the raptor, barely even caring about the ones that were still alive, hissing and screeching at them. This was  _ great _ !

“I can’t believe I’m killing raptors while riding an ankylosaurus!” Dib said, shifting and gesturing as they made it into the trees. The herd had to split up, but they were still running, letting out low rumbles and shaking the ground as they did. Was this going to be as easy as it seemed? 

“Can Zim bring these back?” Zim asked, not sure what else to do. Rain was starting, now, thankfully clean enough that the Irken didn’t worry, but it made holding on harder, and washed out the remains of the snack-bait entirely. Their steed didn’t seem to care, still running, so Zim retracted his pak-leg, coiling up the rope. 

“Seriously, Zim?” Dib asked, but while laughing still. Zim could feel him moving behind the Irken, and then suddenly the familiar Dib-smelling trenchcoat was wrapped around him, shielding him from the rain more than expected. 

“Dib-thing said they eat plants!” Zim defended, nuzzling into the coat, as much as he didn’t need it. The thought was nice, and the warmth, and Zim was pretty sure that Dib wouldn’t get  _ too _ cold. This really did seem to be working… “Hey! All the cameras are here. That means we just need to get to finish!” Zim realized suddenly.

“Yeah?” Dib asked. He grinned again, “Where would you keep them, Zim?” he asked. Zim clicked, because he had not thought of that! He shivered, startled as they burst from the jungle into another field, the stage barely visible ahead, but also more things with teeth. 

“...Those are too many teeth. They set this up,” Zim murmured. “Scatter, duck, and weave? Zim does not like that plan…” There were tall monsters, and shorter ones, a finned thing so close to the ground, and they  _ were _ snarling at each other, but it was clear the race-masters had set this up to be a death-wall. “Just have to both land on the stage…”

Dib made a soft hissing sound. “I don’t like it either, but do we have any other choice?” he asked. The dinosaur they were on was balking at the idea of going over to the wall of death, wailing and mooing as it and the rest of the herd tried to run another way. “Could we go around it?” Dib asked, pointing to the cliff above the stage. 

Zim grinned, all teeth, and nodded. “Yes! Get up, jump- climb if Dib-thing insists…” He nudged the dinosaur to one side, in the direction it wanted to go as well, and they were off. “Pak-legs? Or what?”

“Keep this guy running that way, and I may have the trick,” Dib answered, reaching into his bag. “After the ocean world, I packed something for base jumping! Had to special order it!” A few of the toothy things had noticed and were chasing them now, roaring. 

“You ordered something for  _ what _ ?” Zim asked, and there were  _ way _ too many teeth following them, undulating from side to side or causing the earth to shake. “Tell Zim what to do. I will do it.” He didn’t mean just now, even, but that was okay.

“Base jumping,” Dib said. “Just get us to the cliff!” He was attaching straps to himself and Zim, too. The dinosaur they were riding wasn’t fast, but it was lumbering at a steady pace, and swinging its clubbed tail at anything close. 

“Zim has no idea what that is,” Zim pointed out, shifting now and then to help Dib with getting the straps around. They were getting there, though Zim wasn’t able to hold back a scream as one of the toothy dinosaurs tried snapping at them. It was nowhere close, a misjudgement, but it was still  _ scary _ .

“Do you remember learning about sky-diving?” Dib asked. It took a moment, but then the question registered and Zim hissed.

“Has Dib-thing lost his  _ mind _ ?” he demanded.

Dib grinned back at the Irken. “Probably!” 

“And when are we jumping?” They didn’t have any choice, not really, and Zim knew he had agreed to this already, but… Oh, he really didn’t want to do this. But… he trusted Dib, as much as Dib had trusted him.

“As soon as we reach the edge.” Dib finished the straps as they got close, turning the creature they were riding as they both jumped off and ran towards the cliff-side. “Ready?” he asked Zim. 

“Absolutely not!” Zim answered, laughing. “Let’s go!” The monstrous creatures were moving, watching them, and Zim did have to admit he was… pleased, in a way, that the dinosaur that had got them this far was apparently going to survive just fine.

The Irken stayed close, laughing still as they moved and held onto each other, but jumped. Both shrieked, and then Dib pulled a cord and a flare of a parachute launched behind them, slowing their fall to a reasonable level. 

Zim waved a bit, since Dib’s hands were full with the parachute. The cameras were swarming around them, and that would have made it clear that they were the last team left. There were still dinosaurs behind them, and a couple still circling the stage, but Zim could see that they were going to just pass over them all, and they were  _ almost certainly _ safe.

The human had them spinning as they landed, adrenaline still pumping as the stage erupted into light and color and sound- and confetti. Dib bundled the parachute as the cameras and drones circled. “Does this mean we won?” he asked. He wanted to be finished as much as Zim did, the Irken was sure! 

“Yes, Dib-thing. Zim and Dib have won! Did you ever doubt  _ Zim _ ?” Zim laughed, pulling Dib close. “Also, Dib may as well admit he knows Irken. No-one else will realize it hasn’t been long enough.” And that  _ might _ become a thing soon, with interviews far too likely. Then again, there was every chance that Dib would just leave that all up to Zim!

Dib laughed, shaking his head and then squeezing Zim’s hand in his. “No doubt,” he joked, laughing and shaking his head. He waved at the cameras as well, humming quietly and looking as relieved as Zim felt about it all. Of course they won, but it was nice to finish and be done! 

“Good. Because Zim told you we would win,” Zim agreed, waving as the stage rose, bringing them up to the ship. “Now we probably get to meet people. Um. Dib’s winning will probably be given to Zim, since I have an account already. But maybe not. It is still Dib’s, though.”

“Winnings?” Dib asked. He shrugged, then looked back at Zim, smiling widely and relaxing back. There was fanfare and excitement around, and it was only a few minutes later that he and Dib were left in a room full of snacks and drinks, waiting for the Tallest to actually come see them. 

Zim was… a bit concerned, in all honesty. He hadn’t been in his Tallests’ presence since he’d been given his planet, and he wasn’t sure how he actually felt about them, though he wasn’t going to  _ admit _ that. There was also the fact that Dib was here, and probably wasn’t going to be polite no matter what, so hopefully they had just won as much monies as Zim suspected, because then they would be in a good mood and overlook Dib- not that he had offended them before, thankfully.

The human was settled in nearby, watching him. “You okay?” he asked Zim. The Irken huffed, and Dib rolled his eyes. “I mean it. Anything I can do to help? I mean, you just have to play nice a bit. ...Maybe they’ll give you a new mission now, a better one.” 

“Only if Dib comes with,” Zim answered, before taking his own breath. “And- hey! What do you mean, ‘play nice’? They are my Tallest! Why would Zim be anything but nice?” But it did comfort him, and Zim straightened. This wasn’t anything new, and Zim was quite sure he could manage to get both himself and Dib to safety if he  _ had _ to.

“Right. I mean me,  _ I _ just have to play nice,” Dib said. He paused, then sat up straighter. “You mean that, Zim?” he asked. “You’d want me to come with you?” 

“Of course. Dib is Zim’s and Zim is Dib’s. And as soon as we are  _ home _ , Zim will  _ prove _ it,” Zim answered, throwing his hands up. Had he been somehow  _ unclear _ ? Or was this just a case of Dib being human and fragile after everything? Or both, both was an issue, and just when had the door opened?

But Red and Purple said nothing about whatever they might have overheard, Instead, they looked at Zim and Dib with open mouths, as though astonished by what they were seeing. “ **Zim, when did you get so** **_tall_ ** **?** ” Purple asked immediately as they walked in further. 

“ **We saw you on screen but didn’t think…** ” Red added, looking at Dib as the human stood and walked over. 

“ **Uh. When did I…** ” Zim blinked, absolutely confused by the question until he looked back at Dib and… “ **...Soon after you… stopped taking my calls. My Tallest,** ” Zim answered, and he was barely having to look up to see their faces. He hadn’t even  _ thought _ about it.

“ **You got taller too… but that’s… normal, for humans?** ” Red said, and Zim could tell they were all comparing height now and- this was going better than it might have!

Dib nodded. “ **Yeah,** ” he said, not even bothering to act ignorant. “ **Guess you’re regretting not keeping track of your invader, huh?** ” The comment was just on the side of snide in a way that Zim jabbed at him discreetly. 

“ **The Dib means no disrespect, my Tallest,** ” Zim added, quickly. 

“ **No, I’m… pretty sure he did,** ” Purple countered. “ **But wow- I mean, if you** **_want_ ** **a better planet, especially now…** ”

“ **Or a better ship. With, say, a bedroom…** ” Red agreed, and Zim knew he was chilling, cursing his own autonomous reactions.

Dib looked at Zim, then said, pointedly, “ **Yeah. I meant utter disrespect. It’s what they get for kidnapping me with no warning.** ” He glowered at Red and Purple, crossing his arms. “ **All you had to do was** **_ask_ ** **me.** ”

“ **Oh,** ” Purple said, shrugging. “ **Well it worked anyway.** ” 

“ **You… may have hurt his chances of finishing training, my Tallest,** ” Zim commented, but there was more challenge than he expected in the statement, and now Dib was giving him a look.

“ **I doubt it, we told Tak to take care of any of that,** ” Red answered, waving a hand carelessly.

The human sighed, then shook his head. “ **You two could have told me that,** ” he grumbled. Purple was already walking over to him, poking his hair with barely hidden fascination. Zim almost felt jealousy rear up again, though it was tempered by Red moving closer to Zim himself. 

“ **Really, Zim. You have your pick, now. You’ve done a great service to Irk, winning the Great Race. You know what that means.** ” 

Zim froze, a little, and he hadn’t actually considered  _ that _ . He’d considered the glory for himself, and for Dib, and maybe actually making his Tallest proud, but that was as far as he’d gotten at any point. Really, most of the time he’d been worried about Dib acting weird! Which did, at least, make an answer easy, if also more than a little humiliating. “ **Zim wants Dib.** ”

Purple snorted. “ **You already have that,** ” he said, gesturing at Dib, while the human looked at him. “ **We’re meaning, you know, a ship, a new planet, whatever.** ” He waved a hand. “ **Just think about it for now, and we can talk later.** ” 

“ **Maybe we can talk about it over some snacks later,** ” Red added, smiling. “ **And I noticed that there was something requested- very specifically- from the human planet. It wasn’t easy to get.** ” The tone was half teasing, but Dib noticed. 

“ **...It’s a celebratory drink, that’s all,** ” the human said. 

“ **And Zim thinks that Tallest Red** **_knows_ ** **that wasn’t what Zim meant…** ” Zim muttered, perfectly happy to draw back a little. “ **...Is Dib-thing going to get drunk?** ” he asked, louder, because there weren’t many celebratory drinks from Earth. And he was a bit surprised they had actually gone to that effort.

“ **Ooh, looks like Zim has an idea just what the drink is,** ” Purple teased, and they both seemed willing to let his mutterings go unaddressed, which really, that was just as well.

Dib snorted. “ **I’m not planning on getting drunk,** ” he said. Red and Purple looked at each other, and then grinned. “ **You want to join us?** ” Dib asked, looking surprised. “ **It’s nothing special, really. Right Zim?** ” 

" **Heh. Yes, drinks which cause drunk are very common on Earth. ...Zim still gets carded when I try to buy any…** " It was easier than some other sterilization options, even if it was a pain to buy it.

Dib pat his shoulder, but the Tallests didn't seem to notice, or at least they didn't seem to care. " **Of course we should have this weird human celebration drink with you. It sounds fun,** " Purple said cheerfully. 

“ **No fun at all with pak-filtering on,** ” Zim commented, with a huff. “ **Unless you mean spending time with Zim and Dib, and… Zim thinks that would not be fun for you either, my Tallest.** ” And he  _ did _ want a chance to talk with Dib, because the whole request of wanting him included things that Zim realized Dib might not agree to.

“ **Now now, Zim, it’s been long enough, we should have a drink with each other,** ” Red said, waving a hand flippantly. He smiled then, shaking his head and looking towards the door. “ **But I suppose you need to retrieve said drink, right? Why don’t you do that, Zim?** ” 

“ **Yeah! And that will give us a chance to talk to the human, too,** ” Purple added. 

And what, precisely, made them think he knew  _ where _ Dib’s drink was? That wasn’t even going into the fact that he wasn’t sure what kind of alcohol Dib had bought- and really, it wasn’t like it was hard to buy any booze on earth, or even  _ that _ hard to get to earth, so what had that been about? But Zim knew an order when he was given one, and he also  _ did _ trust that Dib would behave, at least mostly behave.

Dib frowned, but watched him leave. Zim wasn’t overly happy, taking his time only because it allowed him to think. A few questions to the right drone, and he had the bottles and a box of glasses tucked under his arm with bags of snacks in the other hand. He came back in to find Dib sitting at the meeting table with the Tallests, just talking- the Tallests both looked pleased. That was a concern. 

Zim refused to hand everything out as though  _ he _ were a drone, and just piled the snacks on the table before laying out the glasses and bottles by Dib. It was Dib’s drinks, so up to him! And then Zim sat, next to Dib, and… waited. He wasn’t sure what had happened, and didn’t like feeling so uncertain. It was weird!

Under the table, Dib pat Zim’s leg, before he passed out the little cups. “Thank you, Zim,” he said. He looked at the bottles, then opened one. “ **This is called Fireball,** ” he said. “ **It’s a** cinnamon whiskey,” he said. 

“Cinnamon whiskey?” Red asked, looking at the bottle. “ **...What exactly are we going to be drinking?** ” 

“Cinnamon whiskey.  **Dib-thing just said that, my Tallest,** ” Zim answered, willing not to answer more. If they had asked this  _ before _ , he might feel a bit more charitable… They weren’t the only thing he cared about, Zim realized suddenly. And… they probably knew that. And it was… okay? Possibly?

“ **It’s alcohol,** ” Dib answered. He started pouring the drink into the cups, humming quietly. Zim could smell the cinnamon, lekku twitching. “ **Okay, so if we are going to do this right, we all drink at once, just pound it back, and then you slam the glass down and say** _ salude _ .” 

Zim knew they would feel the burn, in any case, and wondered if they were going to listen to his comment about filtering.  _ He _ was leaving his on, of course, unless something really unexpected happened and left him feeling safe. “ **Thank-you, Dib.** ”

“ **...Why** ‘ _ salude _ ’ **? What does that… even mean…?** ” Purple asked, lekku twitching as well as he looked at the stuff in his glass.

Dib chuckled. “ _Salude_ **means ‘to health’. We are drinking to celebrate health and life.** ” He finished pouring the drinks. “ **Some places do this differently, of course, different liquors, or different sayings.** ” He lifted his, grinning. “ **Ready?** ” 

Zim simply held his glass up, not at all worried. Of course, he knew what was coming. Purple followed, nearly as happy, while Red was markedly less certain, though he clearly wasn’t going to let them ‘win’ this. Dib grinned, and then he and Zim tossed their drinks back, Zim a little slower. Purple was out and out coughing, while Red just looked at the empty glass, so betrayed, and not even remembering to try slamming it.

Both Zim and Dib’s glasses hit the table as the human spoke, “ _ Salude _ .” 

“ **What- was- that-?** ” Purple asked between coughs. 

“Fireball,” Dib answered, already pouring himself another. “ **Makes you feel like a** dragon  **breathing fire, doesn’t it?** ” 

“ **What’s a** _ dragon _ ?” Red asked, finally putting his glass down. And… despite the fire and coughing, he didn’t look suspicious, Zim realized. “ **Zim, what’s a** dragon?  **Why don’t we have any?** ”

Zim sighed. “Dragons  **are human monsters they killed off a long time ago, my Tallest,** ” he said. “ **They breathed fire.** ” He paused, then added, “ **We don’t have any because they are dangerous and strange.** ”

Dib was already refilling the other glasses and grinning. “ **Come on. It wasn’t that strong,** ” he teased. 

“ **What is the point of this… drink?** ” Red asked, looking at his refilled glass with, maybe, a little despair. “ **Humans like just… burning their esophagus? Or… What are we filtering out?** ”

“ **You,** ” Purple said, grinning. When Red turned, outright alarmed, Purple somehow managed to grin wider. “ **What are** **_you_ ** **filtering out, Red. He** **_said_ ** **it would be more fun without it!** ”

“ **You are filtering out a very minor downer, alcohol. It’s nice, we drink it for parties and such- this isn’t even the strongest out there,** ” Dib said. “ **Relax, I won’t let you get blitzed. I’d rather not be on the hook for giving the leaders of a planet a horrible hang-over.** ” 

“ **Empire, Dib. We run a whole, grand, Empire. Want a tour? You won this for Irk too,** ” Purple answered, grabbing his drink and looking at it much too long.

“ **Hangovers, at least, are easy for us to fix…** ” Zim muttered, before slowly reaching for a bag of snacks, a bit surprised when he was allowed to take one.

Red scoffed. “ **This is poison, basically? Your people drink poison for celebration?** ” 

Dib laughed. “ **A very minor poison,** ” he said. He tossed his drink back a moment later, while Zim was munching away. “ **A tour… would be good?** ” he said, looking at Zim. “ **What’s that all entail?** ” 

Nothing, because that  _ didn’t happen _ , Zim thought, shrugging automatically. “ **Hopefully not a stop at every parking planet. Likely seeing places no** **_alien_ ** **has been…** ”

Purple laughed as well, putting down the drink and reaching for snacks. “ **Only a few parking planets, I guess. Mm, and we’ll have to figure out ways for you not to die, too, Dib. That would look horrible- survive the Race, and then we let you just** **_die_ ** **?** ”

“ **Death is a part of life,** ” Dib answered grinning. “ **Though I would prefer not to die yet.** ” He looked at Zim again, patting the Irken under the table again. He set the bottle aside and then opened the second one, a clear thing, and shaped different from the first. “ **This is** tequila,” he said. 

“ **No… Death is the** **_end_ ** **of life. And it’s much too soon for** **_that_ ** **,** ” Purple answered, waving his hand. “ **So, no dying. Not just because we recognize Zim wouldn’t allow that.** ” Zim’s lekku went flat at that, but they didn’t seem to notice.

“...Tequila?  **Wait, how’s it different?** ” Red asked, leaning forward a bit- and stealing Purple’s whiskey.

Dib squeezed Zim’s arm under the table again, meant to sooth- and it did. “Whiskey  **is made with** rye **, a grass-like plant,** ” he explained. “ **But** tequila  **is made with** agave **.** ” He gestured. “Agave  **is a massive plant with spines. It can cut and tear a person up if they aren’t careful. This stuff tastes different, it’s more close to my, ah, heritage.** ” 

“ **Zim is still angry about the** mint  **plant,** ” Zim commented with a huff. 

“ **So… grass and… a poky plant. And you make poison from them, so you can drink it. ...I am beginning to see how Zim was enchanted.** ” Red tossed back the whiskey, frowning, before taking the next glass. “ **Humans seem… interesting.** Mint  **plant?** ”

That led to another laugh from Dib. “ **I gave him a** mint  **plant. He threw it into his yard and it apparently took over back there.** ” He grinned wider, then set the bottle down. “ **Okay, this stuff is good shit, alright? This is from blue** agave  **plants- rarer, and sweeter, but it will burn still going down. Ready?** ”

“ **Good… shit? I was under the impression that was impossible,** ” Purple said, and he was grinning, the lack of filtering  _ absolutely  _ showing. He was also holding up his glass, and grinning.

All three Irkens managed to down the alcohol, with Red’s glass hitting the table a moment after Zim’s. The Tallests were  _ smiling _ , though, and Zim realized that they were actually having fun, that this was actually going  _ well _ .

Dib laughed at them, and even Zim had no clue how the human was managing to drink without making a horrible face. Even more, both Purple and Red were starting to show symptoms of the alcohol, but Dib was… not. He was still sober, entirely. “ **If you think this stuff is strong, I tried** absinthe  **once- now that stuff it** **_strong_ ** **and known for fucking a person up.** ”

“ **Zim thinks Dib has been drunk too often,** ” Zim complained, eating more snacks. He knew that would help, and he  _ had _ tried alcohol on Earth. Some of the fruity things were tasty, even! But that didn’t help him much, and compared to Dib, it was nothing.

“ **I don’t think I want to know about that,** ” Red said absently. 

Purple perked. “Absinthe?” he asked. 

While Dib was refilling the glasses, he nodded. “ **So, these are 33 and 40 percent alcohol by volume,** ” he said, gesturing to the bottles. “Absinthe  **can be 80 or 90 percent alcohol, and much of it is made with a plant called** wormwood.” He stole one of the drink bottles from the pile of snacks- a sweet soda like drink, and started mixing it with the whiskey. “ **Now,** wormwood  **is a hallucinogen. So basically, you get drunk and high.** ”

“ **Why would you** **_do that_ ** **to yourselves?** ” Purple asked, shaking his head. “ **Okay, yeah, I’m not even sure an organic sweep would** **_work_ ** **on that place.** ” Which was, to Zim, a good thing, as much as he had dreamed of seeing that at one point. He’d promised to leave areas untouched for Dib, after all!

“ **Because it’s fun,** ” Dib answered dryly. “ **Also, it** **_was_ ** **illegal for awhile.** ” He passed the first drink to Purple and then started the next one. “ **And alcohol- we used to make and drink it because it was safer than drinking the water. You know, because of bugs, parasites, pathogens… we lost a third of a population once because of that. ...Twice, actually. I wouldn’t suggest anything trying to kill stuff off. Trust me, it’d be nearly impossible.”**

“ **...You drank poison. Because it was safer than** **_water_ ** **.** ” Red’s statement was flat, and maybe he wasn’t sure if Dib was being honest, but Zim was nodding. He’d learned the stuff in skool! In between ‘doom-rants’, of course.

“ **Oh, yes, my Tallest. Zim has had many battles with these** **_germs_ ** **! Of course, he has carried none with him…** ” And if they hadn’t thought to decontaminate Dib- well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t been dunked through all kinds of different planets, and so it was  _ entirely _ not  _ his _ worry.

Purple made a _ sound _ , and was absolutely on his way to being drunk. “ **Humans are** **_weird_ ** **,** ” he said. “ **What other self-destruct things do you do?** ” He paused, then looked at Zim. “ **Or, better, you tell us, Zim. What else?** ” 

“ **Where do you want me to** **_start_ ** **?** ” Zim answered, rubbing his head. “ **Aside from the atomic fallout? Their rain is** **_acid_ ** **from filth! The amount of impurities even in** **_Dib_ ** **, who at least mostly lived in a house that filtered the worst out! Oh, jumping out of air-ships is recreational! They feel sick and decide to go out and** **_socialize_ ** **! Zim could make** **_three reports on this_ ** **!** ”

Dib held up a finger, “ **Hey, don’t forget that we do things that wreck our own bodies for sport,** ” he said teasingly. “ **And I’m sure you could make a dozen reports on each thing, Zim, but they’d be boring as hell.** ” He smirked, teasing the Irken, and then added, “ **And you liked base jumping.** ” 

“ **Zim liked not getting eaten!** ” Zim answered, much louder than he meant.

“ **And I’m sure you say that every night,** ” Purple commented,  _ clearly _ feeling the effects of the whiskey and tequila. “ **And mean it just as much as I would.** ”

Dib choked on his drink this time, and Zim paled again, lekku going back as Red scoffed and sent a scolding look his way. 

“ **Though that does make me wonder…** ” Red commented thoughtfully. Dib drank a bit more, then stole a snack bag. 

“ **Wonder what, exactly?** ” he asked. 

“ **Well, you’re obviously ‘he’ for humans. And manage well enough with Zim as well. But what might** **_we_ ** **call you?** ” Red answered, still thinking. 

Zim promptly bit his tongue to keep from hissing- and really, what was he thinking? It was Dib’s choice, and of  _ course _ they were curious, and that wasn’t even a real offer! And even if it was- “ **That is a rude question, my Tallest. Humans do not** **_talk_ ** **about such things,** ” Zim said, pleased with how calm he was.

Dib blinked. “ **What?** ” he asked. “ **Um. I’m missing something.** ” 

Purple giggled. “ **Relax, Zim. We aren’t planning on stealing your human. Except, you know, maybe for a night.** ” Oh, and there went Dib realizing what was being meant, and the previous comments. 

He cleared his throat. “ **Ah,** ” he said. 

“ **...See? Embarrassed even after Zim has tried explaining things,** ” Zim said, motioning at Dib, who was, in fact, fairly red.

“ **Wouldn’t that just mean he needs it** **_explained_ ** **more?** ” Red said. “ **And he didn’t answer… Neither did you, Zim…** ”

“ **I don’t know what I’m supposed to answer,** ” Dib said. “ **I’m not any different in a bedroom. But I’m also… no? Not available.** ” Zim barely suppressed a click of surprise when his human spoke, and then another when Dib went on, “ **And I think you should probably take Purple to bed if he’s that tipsy...** ” 

“ **Wow. Okay, okay- we weren’t** **_trying_ ** **to be rude,** ” Red said, nodding a little, words suspiciously close to sounding like an apology. “ **Those drinks are fun, though, we may have to look into them. You can go on, then, you’ve got a room. And** **_you_ ** **, Pur’- why are you like this? -No, you are not stealing another glass!** ” Red turned, actually taking Dib’s suggestion, and Zim blinked after him in surprise.

Zim half followed them out, though it was mostly to get the door and lock it. When he looked back, Dib was drinking from the bottle, and Zim was pretty sure that he  _ was _ going to get tipsier. But for the moment, anyway, he just cleaned up, packing the snacks away to bring with them back to their room. 

"...Dib did well? Zim is… impressed you still seem sober. And worried- how much did Dib drink when out?" Zim said, teasing a bit and trying to focus on Dib and happy, and not the odd upset still pressing on him.

"Did I? I worried I was messing it all up," Dib said. As he locked the door behind them, he paused, then said, "So, do you want to talk about that whole thing back there about them wanting me for a night? Because… you were definitely not happy." 

“Thing? There was no thing. No thing at all,” Zim answered, shaking his head. “And no, no messing up. Zim was closer to messing up…” He was, really, but hadn’t, so it was fine.

Dib scoffed. “So if I had said yes to their little charade offer?” he asked. 

Despite his best efforts, Zim’s lekku went flat, and he didn’t quite fully bite back the hiss this time. “There was no offer! Ugh… But it is Dib’s choice!” As for what Zim would do… the Irken wasn’t sure, and didn’t spend much thought on it.

“Zim,” Dib said softly. “If we’re going to make this work, we should be honest with each other, right?” Zim scowled, and Dib moved closer, sighing and setting his alcohol down. “I have no intention of being with anyone but you. And you don’t like the idea of me with anyone else, so stop pretending.” 

“But Zim shouldn’t… Dib would not be  _ rejecting _ him…” It was  _ wrong _ \- only Dib had just said he didn’t plan or want to be with anyone else. And monogamy  _ was _ normal for humans, so… “Zim…  _ doesn’t _ … like the idea…” he admitted, lowly.

The human nodded, then moved closer still. “And the idea of me flirting with them would make you pretty upset, wouldn’t it?” he pressed. Then he grinned a little. “And, hm, you’d want to remind me who I belong to?” Zim’s lekku twitched as he realized what Dib was doing, riling him up and making that feeling turn to heat. 

“Does Dib-thing  _ realize _ what he is doing?” Zim asked, smirking a bit, absolutely willing but also wanting to make sure. “Zim bites,” he added, though he wasn’t really going to cause any damage, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t already bit Dib!

“Mhmm,” Dib said, grinning wider and licking his lips. “Maybe I should go terrorize someone, find out where they are, take the rest of these bottles and make you  _ really _ jealous, Zim?” The ‘threat’ was light, and Zim buzzed as it sank in, as Dib reached for the whiskey bottle and took another drink, smirking. 

“Dib wouldn’t even have to terrorize. You’re pretty enough,  _ and _ tall…” Zim said,  _ allowing _ the angry hiss, but also honestly pleased that Dib wanted  _ him _ \- actually wanted, not just not having anything better to do! “But you are  _ Zim’s _ …”

Dib smirked. “Yeah? You have a funny way of showing that, Zim. If I’m yours, you’d let me walk out this door, huh? While you were gone we had a long talk about what that means.” He moved, and Zim reached out, blocking the way with a pack leg automatically. Dib cocked his head, challenging so very strongly! 

So strongly, and not even a shiver of fear… “Zim will make Dib happy. When I  _ thought _ out the door would make you happy, Zim would allow. But… Now Zim won’t.” A long talk? Zim worried about that, a moment, but was happier to skuttle forward, letting the legs raise him enough to look down on Dib, just like old times.

“You should know me better than that, Zim,” Dib teased, looking up at Zim and smirking. He raised the drink to his lips, offering a challenge and watching the Irken move. Then he ducked suddenly. The alcohol was dulling the human’s movements, but mostly, it was just like old times as he kicked out, quickly moving to push Dib back and pin him down. 

Dib laughed, twisting and shifting under Zim as the Irken worked on getting the human’s shirt off. Dib was no help at all, something that wasn’t usual but fit this, and Zim hissed again, going for a kiss that was mostly teeth. “Dib should know better too. Challenging Zim…”

“Hah,” Dib scoffed, wiggling and reaching out to grab at Zim’s own shirt. “Should I, though, Zim?” he asked. “Are you going to remind me, huh? Make sure it sticks in my brain?” Even as he asked, Zim had ripped his shirt off and pinned his wrists. He was still a bit careful, just in case, but Dib was encouraging quite enthusiastically. 

“Yes. Even if I must go carve it in again…” Zim agreed, maybe a dangerous comment, but Dib didn’t seem to worry. Not the way he was arching up, trying to get contact. Dib’s shirt was probably a loss, one pak-leg pinning it down just under where the shirt twisted around Dib’s wrists, and allowing Zim enough motion to work on getting the human’s pants off.

The human gasped, wiggling and shifting against Zim as the Invader finished tugging his pants off, settling against him for the moment. One of his pak legs stayed and kept the human pinned, two more against the floor and the third helping support him. “Yeah?” he asked. He grinned, gasping again as Zim kissed him once more. 

“Enough! Zim knows better things to do with your mouth, Dib-mine!” Zim declared, tugging his own clothing off. Dib wriggled under him, tugging at his shirt and ‘fighting’ while also panting, and Zim could see how excited the human was. But Dib was going to have to wait for more touches!

-

He wasn’t, entirely, ready to  _ stop _ after that, but Zim did want a little bit of a break, and a chance to snuggle against Dib. “Mine. Dib is Zim’s. ...And no-one elses…” It still felt  _ rude _ to say that, or  _ mean _ … But it made Dib mewl softly, made him shift, and he was the one that mattered as far as saying things went.

“All yours,” Dib said. “And no one elses.” The words had Zim clenching, and he shivered, bending to kiss Dib’s face and neck, just because he could. After a few moments, though, Dib spoke again. “Can I move my arms?”

It made Zim giggle, before he sighed. “ _ Fine _ . Zim supposes you can, if you  _ must _ , Dib-mine,” Zim agreed, pulling the pak-leg in, and then the other three as well, since they weren’t needed with the way he was laying against Dib. “...I’ll replace the shirt, too.”

“I have spare shirts,” Dib said. He chuckled, then wrapped arms around Zim, humming quietly. “Feel better?” he asked, after a few more moments of silence. “Really, Zim. You think I’d ever go to bed with those two? Come on now.” 

“They  _ are _ the rulers of an empire,” Zim pointed out, nuzzling into Dib. “But… no. Zim… did not think that Dib would say yes. Except maybe to keep peace, but… You don’t.” He chuckled at that again, proud again, as well as so, so happy. “They did not expect that either. Zim was already on edge, though.”

Dib laughed quietly, then shook his head and kissed Zim again. “You were,” he agreed. “I was a little worried about some stuff until I talked to them. They’re… weird. But not. Um. Hm. How do I say it nicely? I am surprised they aren’t total assholes.” 

“That’s nice? They… aged. As did Zim.  _ And _ likely had to deal with the effects of their choices. Zim… noticed they have changed as well. So… What did Dib speak about?” He poked Dib, and then mewled as that was enough to slide off the human. Oh well, there was time later.

“What you meant when you said you wanted me,” Dib answered, making Zim chill at the sudden implications. “You could get an entire planet, a ship, anything and you choose me? You poking about the idea of joining the armada makes more sense, now.” 

“...Zim can still get a planet. There are seven more next to Earth! And can get a ship too, later. But… Zim… wants… Dib more than fifty years. Sixty. ...And should have said something to Dib before.” He should have, but it also wasn’t like he had been  _ planning _ the question at the time. The chance had just come up.

Dib was quiet for a long moment, long enough that Zim was starting to get nervous. But then the human kissed him again. “I’m definitely tipsy, but… yeah. Okay. I’d like that,” he said. “I’ve thought about it. Asking what… you know, that might need? But…” he trailed off, then added, while grinning again, “They wanted to go grab a pak and whatever while you were gone, even.” 

Zim perked, warbling. “Really…? ...Zim was… going to try building one…” He chilled again, this time from fear, because that was on the utter edge of  _ treason _ . “...Zim might have really decided this was all false- a dream- if I had walked in on that.” But it  _ did _ explain some of the latter teasing, really. “...It feels odd? Zim… is used to fighting. Not… just getting.”

“Yeah,” Dib agreed. “I think that you’re right. They’ve gotten wiser to the idea that you are stubborn as hell.” He grinned a little, then added, “ _ And _ I may have told them that if they pulled a stunt like this to put you in danger just to get their jollies off, I’d ruin them.” 

“... _ How _ \- nope. No, Zim does not need to know how. It is clear that Dib’s will is back, though…” Zim tried for a pleased sound, but he was still trying to work out that the Tallest had, at least, accepted Dib as Zim’s equal. And that it was real and a good thing. “...Dib will probably see Irk. No… non-Irken has been allowed, before. And… Then we will go home. And sleep for a week! ...After buying toys.”

That got him a laugh, and then a squeeze. “I didn’t need to tell them, either,” he said. He grinned wider, then stretched enough to kiss one of Zim’s lekku. “I’d be honored. Toys’d be fun too, even. I wonder how they are different from ones on Earth. ...Probably better safety standards.” 

“Yes,” Zim agreed, nodding. “We can look together. Or not. It is up to Dib. Though… it will actually be your monies this time. Dib should invest some…” It wouldn’t help them on earth, aside from bringing stuff in, but… they  _ could _ be rich when they visited places!

Dib laughed again. “Oh, yeah. I guess. We can figure that out, too.” He grinned, pushing himself up a bit and then added, “We’ve got plenty of time for that, though, right?” Zim shrieked as he was flipped  _ again _ , onto his back. “I’m still hungry,” he said. 

“And do you  _ deserve _ to get to eat, Dib-thing? Hmm?” Zim laughed, though, and wriggled, not at all in the mood to complain. He already knew that Dib would happily eat him out for hours, and Zim was more than willing to allow that.

The only answer he got was a bright flashy smile and the human moving down. Zim mewled as he did, well aware that he was going to enjoy this. Though, Dib paused, still grinning, as he kissed Zim, first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, smut was skipped, though it was short to start. Uncut chapter is over in Great Smut.
> 
> There will be an epilogue posted tomorrow!


	9. Epilogue

The video call was out of nowhere, honestly. But Zim didn’t mind the break from his current task. He left most of the day-to-day domination up to Dib, leaving him to deal with more important things. Though, Dib currently was lounging sideways in a chair, looking over the latest production reports for solar panels. 

“ **Hey you two,** ” Purple greeted when he appeared on screen. 

Zim was too busy blinking in surprise to remember his manners, while Dib didn’t care, just waving. They both watched Zim gape until Dib poked him, which was enough for Zim to sit up. “ **My Tallest. This, ah. ...When** **_was_ ** **the last time you called me?** ” He had called them, a lot, but didn’t remember them calling him…

“ **It’s been a full vorn, Zim,** ” Red said, waving off the question. That was almost an entire Earth year! 

“ **We want to know if you two would be up to taming a planet for the empire,** ” Purple cut in, excitedly. “ **It’s the planet with the toothy things. We bought it!** ” 

“ **I don’t know if Dib-mine would** **_want_ ** **to tame that. He** **_likes_ ** **the toothy things,** ” Zim pointed out, before everything else caught up. The Tallest were… offering them another planet?  **“...Zim believes that if my Tallest are considering a tourist resort, he knows a movie you should watch first. Six movies, actually. And a television series. There’s also a few web-shorts…** ”

“ **And some games,** ” Dib said. 

“ **Well, tame… you know. Make it safer. Or something. I think you could do it,** ” Purple said cheerfully. 

Red scoffed. “ **Come on. It could be great. We can make everyone sign waivers. If they’re dumb enough to get eaten, then that is on them.** ” 

“ **We could just set up cameras and send in documentarians,** ” Dib said. “ **It can be a reserve still. You’d get all the monies from that, without needing to pay for infrastructure.** ” 

“ **And send down exactly the sort of people who think they could win the Race,** ” Zim added. “ **Training camp.** ” At Dib’s unamused look, Zim shrugged. “ **Is it worse than climbing Earth-mountains ‘because it’s there’?** ” he asked, which got a tired shrug.

Purple nodded, despite clearly having little clue just what Zim meant. “ **Exactly. We’ll leave it to you, okay? Just- just do bring in monies. Ooh, and maybe when you manage this we can celebrate with that** ‘absinthe’  **you mentioned, Dib?** ” Red turned on him, but Purple seemed oblivious.

Dib blinked, then nodded. “ **Ah, sure,** ” he said. He looked at Zim, who was already nodding and planning. 

“ **Great!** ” Purple said. 

“ **Right. That was all we needed,** ” Red started, pushing Purple out of the way for a moment. “ **Oh, except, when is the next shipment of** mint  **coming? Our drone for that has been stuck on Foodcourtia for the Foodening…** ” 

“ **It’s on its way,** ” Dib answered. “ **Probably three rotations out.** ” 

“ **Excellent! Well, let us know what you need. Ooh, maybe some of the smaller teeth things could be pets? Eh, let us know when everything’s good, and hey- nice talking to you both! Byeee~!** ” Purple spoke from behind Red, and they both waved before the screen went dark, and only then did Zim realize he had never even stood up. He cheeped, looking at Dib and feeling quite out of his depth.

Dib stood, chuckling. “You okay?” he asked. He walked over, wrapping around Zim and grinning. “That was unexpected. Looks like we’ve got another new job, doesn’t it? Weird, but okay.”

“Zim is okay. Zim was  _ lounging _ around the  _ Tallest _ , after they called for almost no reason, but Zim is okay…” They had treated him… not like equals, but… And then Zim shrugged, because honestly? It  _ didn’t matter _ . Were he and Dib going to poke the planet? Absolutely, but Zim knew that was because  _ Dib _ desperately wanted to go play with dinosaurs, and anything else was incidental. He and Dib both wanted to have  _ fun _ , to explore, to keep each other happy for the centuries they now had, and so… They were given another planet, and told to have fun. And that was exactly what they would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed this with us!


End file.
